Evolution of Snowbarry Part III
by Lilteds
Summary: Following the next journey of Caitlin and Barry as we venture into the third year of the Flash. Following the episodes as they play out but with the Snowbarry twist. If you haven't already. Read Evolution of Snowbarry and Evolution of Snowbarry II for a better flow of the story.
1. 3 Episode 1 Flashpoint

**_We back baby! Yes, I am! I know it's been a while but there was a whole debate in my head whether or not I had it enough inspiration in the next few seasons to actually write the next chapters to follow. Hope it was worth the wait. Enjoy as always._**

 ** _Disclaimer: I do not own the Flash nor it's characters_**

* * *

 ** _Barry's POV_**

Barry didn't stop running. He felt as though he'd never stop running, but as he sped through the speed force and through the front door, he knew what he had to do. There was no turning back now. It was too late for regrets.

Her screams were what broke him. She was screaming for him.

"Barry!" she cried out.

Barry stood there for less than half a second as he watched his memories unfold before him. It all came crashing into him in torturous waves. The Reverse Flash. His mother. Her murder. But this time, he had the power to fix his past and change his future.

Feeling the electricity pulse through his body, Barry sped forward slamming the Reverse Flash against the living room wall. Around them frames and glass shattered at their feet. Unexpectedly, with the element of surprise, Barry unleashed his repressed anger and hatred brewing within him, knocking the man in yellow to the floor. Blood trickled from a cut on his cheek, but as Barry towered over his limp body, he couldn't help but think that was nothing compared to what he deserved. Gripping tightly against the collar of his enemy's suit, Barry held him inches from the ground before delivering a final punch that knocked him out cold. Blinded by his anger and loss, Barry stood over his body, quivering with rage. It wasn't until his mother's screams grounded him.

Barry inhaled a sharp breathe composing himself. Turning around slowly, he looked into the soft familiar eyes of his mother. And in her eyes he found that peace of a future family whole. His mother was home.

It had been approaching six months to the day since he had ran back in time and fought to save everything that had once been taken from him. Turning over to his side, he opened his eyes welcoming the sight of his pregnant wife laying peacefully in a quiet slumber beside him. To this day, Barry still woke up frightened that all of this was dream, that in any moment this illusion would shatter around him and he would wake back up with both his parents gone. Reaching out, he held his hand over Caitlin's expanded stomach. She was almost due. A smile crept across his face. He was happy.

Suddenly the squeals of his three year old daughter came barrelling into their room, struggling onto their bed. Barry laughed leaning over the covers, scooping up his daughter into his arms. Charlie jumped onto his chest, her favourite bunny latched securely between her arms.

"Daddy, daddy, daddy!" she yelled.

"Ssshhh mommy's still sleeping." He whispered breaking into a smile.

"But I'm hungry." She pouted, her big brown eyes gleaming.

"Okay, okay, let's go and make breakfast." He nodded.

Charlie hurled herself around his neck, clinging onto him as he shifted out from underneath the sheets and pulling himself out of bed. As he quietly left the room, Barry shuffled down the hall towards the kitchen, Charlie still squirming impatiently in his arms.

"So what do you want for breakfast?" he asked kissing her on the side of the head.

"PANCAKES!" she screamed.

"Pancakes it is." He laughed setting his daughter down.

Barry watched over her as she jetted off as soon as her feet touch solid ground.

Rummaging through the kitchen, Barry laid out the ingredients. Just as he had the batter prepped, the doorbell chimed beckoning him away. Licking the top of his thumb clean, Barry dusted his hands on his tracksuit as he made his way to the front door.

"Mom… dad?"

"Morning Barry! You alright?" His dad asked as he shuffled past his son.

"Yeah... everything's perfect." Barry smiled as he welcomed a hug from his mother. Barry leaned into her arms, tightening his grip. Even after these past few months with her, he'd never pass an opportunity to hug her.

"What is with you? You hug me every chance you get."

"Do you want me to stop?" Barry pulled back, raising a brow.

"No! I love it." she smiled back.

"Ganma… ganpa!" Charlie squealed as she came stumbling over her feet towards them.

"Hey squirt!" Henry beamed as he knelt down towards his granddaughter.

"Where's Caitlin?" Nora mused as she searched around the open living area.

"She's still asleep, I'm letting her rest while… _we…"_ Barry emphasised as he picked up his daughter twirling her around before cradling her to the side of his hip.

"...make her some pancakes in bed… huh?" He continued, setting Charlie down on the edge of the kitchen bench.

"She has the best guy…. And our girl has the best daddy." Nora noted as she held onto Charlie bouncing on the counters edge careful not to let her fall.

"Well we were going to take you guys out to breakfast. But since Caitlin's still asleep, why don't we take Charlie and you guys get some alone time?" His mother suggested.

"Can I come, can I come?" Charlie begged, her eyes growing wide.

"That'd be amazing mom." Barry sighed happily.

"Come on; let's see how fast we can get ready?" His father dared Charlie, as he took her wound up in his arms towards her bedroom.

"Hey mom?" Barry whispered.

"What's up beautiful boy?" she said as she eased the dirty dishes into the washer.

"I love you."

She smiled up at him. "I love you to."

Yawning, Barry stretched out on the couch. He must have fallen asleep. Waking groggily as he opened his eyes, patting down his chest, his eyes searched the room for his wife. With her nowhere in sight, Barry rubbed a hand over his face waking himself up. She must still be in the bedroom. Tipping his feet over the side of the sofa, Barry buried his head waiting until he was fully awake. It was the panicked sound of his wife screaming out his name; that roared a fire in him; he jolted to his feet his heart thumping against his chest as he raced toward her.

"Barry!" Caitlin cried.

Barry fumbled into the bedroom, Caitlin clutching the end post of their bed as her other hand cradled her stomach.

"Aahh" she cried in pain.

Barry's eyes widened in panic. Without hesitation he flew to her side, supporting her as she fell into his arms weakened.

He forced his voice to stay level. "Everything's going to be fine." He reassured her, composing his face, trying desperately to keep it together.

Swiftly, he pulled Caitlin up into his arms and sped towards the hospital. As he got there she was immediately taken into the care of the doctors and nurses. Barry was left stranded in the middle of hospital corridor, left with nothing but the echoes of her screams of pain ringing in his ears.

* * *

A suffocating panic crippled him causing his lungs to burn. _She was going to be okay._ He repeated to himself as he paced up and down the sterile halls of the hospital. _Everything was going to be okay._

He couldn't be sure how much time had passed. What felt like an eternity, Barry grew impatient. She had been in the OR for longer than he had expected _. What was taking so long? Where the hell was she? The baby?_

His heart beating hard against his chest, Barry raked a trembling hand through his hair as he fought the urge to slip into the darkest of thoughts. He resisted by trying to stay positive. _She was a fighter. She'll be okay._ He reminded himself.

Running his hand through his hair, unable to keep still Barry turned a corner of the hallway bumping into a distraught Iris.

"Sorry." She mumbled her voice almost inaudiable.

"Iris?"

"Barry." She sighed relieved to see her best friend.

"What you doing here?" he asked pulling his friend close, trying to comfort her.

"It's Wally. He... he…" before she could finish her sentence, Wally was wheeled past them unconscious.

"What happened?" his brows pulling together in concern.

Iris looked around before pulling him close as if she were bringing him in on a secret.

"Wally's Kid Flash."

Barry's eyes widened in surprise.

"He… he got in a fight with the Rival. That speedster terrorising the city." She explained.

"We found his identity and Wally went after him… he wasn't fast enough…" Iris choked, covering her face with her hands.

"Barry if anything happens… to Wally or me… you need to know the Rival… his name is Edward Clariss."

"Nothing's going to happen. Wally will be alright." He soothed as he brought his friend into his arms.

Iris pulled away looking up at him as if finding clarity.

"What are you doing here? Where's Caitlin?"

Barry's jaw tightened.

"Wait. Is she in labour?"

Before Barry had a chance to answer her father called out to her from around the corner in need of her support.

Iris looked towards Barry.

"I'm sorry. Dad needs me." She apologised before turning after her father.

"Oh and Barry. Congratulations." She smiled before walking away.

Emotionally drained, Barry finally gave into the tiredness allowing himself to sink down onto one of the most uncomfortable chairs. Barry left his head fall into his hands. With a gentle touch to his shoulder, Barry pulled himself upright. Peering up, a tall and tired man in scrubs stood towering over him. Barry hastily drew to his feet.

"Finally!" He sighed exasperated.

"Where is she? Is she okay? The baby?" he rambled, desperate for information.

The doctor looked at him. His expression was grim, his eyes heavy and dark but as Barry searched his eyes in that beat of a moment, a gut wrenching truth settled deep within his stomach. Barry stumbled back into the chairs behind him. His heart slamming into a shuddering to a stop before it found the strength to restart. The doctor began explaining everything that had happened. But all that Barry could hear was blurred out to silence. Nothing around him seemed to be in focus. _How was this happening?_ Barry felt the four walls around him begin to enclose around him.

"Mr Allen I'm so sorry." He recited as if he had delivered the news numerous times over.

Barry cleared his throat, bringing himself back into a moment of focus.

"Can I see her?" he asked almost inaudibly.

The doctor nodded. Stepping away he led him further down the hallway, stopping upon an open door. The doctor gave Barry a gentle squeeze on the shoulder before leaving him.

Barry hazily watched as the doctor disappeared around the corner. Silence engulfing him once again. Barry inhaled a sharp breath as he tried to regain his composure. He wasn't prepared for this. This wasn't how it was supposed to go. Running a hand over his face, he turned into the room.

The room was dimly lit. In contrast to the clinical environment, the soft glow of light somehow made the room feel a little warm. The room was completely still. A shadow of a figure loomed over his wife, swaying gently from side to side. Barry was frozen where he stood unable to gain the courage to take that first step forward. It wasn't until the subtle sobs of his new born son, gave him a singular focus. It drowned out all the chaos swallowing him in that moment and it gave him a rare second of pure happiness. Barry leapt forward without hesitation. His presence was noticed, the nurse turning to meet him. Barry's heart soared as his eyes caught sight of his son fussing about in her arms.

Without any words, the nurse carefully placed him into his arms. She smiled before leaving. As soon as he held him, his son quieted. Barry cradled the smallest of beings in his arms. He's son with all the purity of unknowing, yawned into a peaceful slumber. Barry smiled a fraction but it vanished quickly as the monitors beside him beeped in a continuous rhythm, bring him back into the tragic truth.

Prying his sights away from his newborn son, he hesitated to look to his wife who lay motionless in front of them. Barry's heart broke. _She was here but she wasn't._ The machines beside her were the only thing keeping her breathing. He stared at her. Unblinking and unmoving. _How could this be happening? Cait._ He cried, silently pleading for a miracle. He prayed for her to open her eyes. He needed to her to wake up so he could tell her he loved her just one more time. _They should have had more time._ Stepping away Barry closed his eyes in pain. He couldn't bear seeing her like this. _This shouldn't have been their fate._ At his hesitation to be by her side, a stabbing pain vibrated though his chest. And his mind began replaying memories they cherished.

* * *

 ** _*Placing her hand over his heart, she felt the steady drums of his heart beating under her touch. She wasn't sure how long they had been standing there but she felt the heat and electricity as his eyes bore into hers. Her heart started racing as she felt her need for him grow. Her hand still over his chest, she felt his heart quicken with hers. Clutching onto his shirt Barry reached down placing his lips on hers. Caitlin feeling the warmth of his lips responded immediately allowing him access to explore her mouth. She released her grip from his shirt looping her arms around his neck, drawing him closer and them to deepen their kiss. – Excerpt from 1x03_**

 ** _Lying on his stomach Barry felt the rays of the sun warm his face. Turning his head over he was woken with the perfect image of Caitlin lying peacefully beside him, her lips slightly parted and with every few breathes she would let out a little snort he found amusing and cute. Watching her sleep had become his new favourite past time. – Excerpt from 1x07_**

 ** _Caitlin was taken back by surprise. Barry had never raised his voice at her before. Caitlin stared at Barry for a moment stunned before finding her way to the switch. She placed her hand on the lever gripping onto it before yanking her hand back away._**

 ** _"Caitlin!"_**

 ** _"I can't."_**

 ** _"We don't have a choice!" he yelled._**

 ** _"If I turn this on it could kill you" she pleaded with him._**

 ** _"If you don't… we could all die." He replied his voice more gentle._**

 ** _"I already lost someone I cared about in this building I can't do it again."_**

 ** _"Caitlin!" he yelled harshly._**

 ** _"BARRY I CAN'T… GODDAMMIT! Don't you get it?... I LOVE YOU!" she declared. – Excerpt from 1x07_**

 ** _"Dr Caitlin Snow. Will you marry me?"_**

 _ **Caitlin looked back up at him. It was as if the world around them fell away, as she was truly happy.**_

 _ **In that moment she knew she could have looked into his eyes forever, and in that moment she knew just as she had before, that's all she ever wanted. A forever with him.**_

 _ **"Yes." She whispered, tears pooling in her eyes.**_

 _ **Caitlin realized she must have said it so quietly that it took Barry a minute to hear her answer. He looked at her surprised as though he couldn't be sure he heard her correctly.**_

 _ **"What?" he stammered, a big grin pulling at his lips.**_

 ** _"YES!" she repeated loudly as she pulled him and smashed her lips to his. – Excerpt 2x06_**

 ** _"Barry… Before you I had known love. And after everything that happened I thought I'd never find love again. For a long time my heart stopped. Until you. You opened up my heart to more love I never knew was possible. To say we had the most easiest journey would be a massive understatement but it was all worth it, for us to get to where we are today. Every day I grow more and more in love with you. You are my best friend and the love of my life. I promise you that I will be right by your side as your best friend, your rock, your lover, your wife and your soul mate. I promise I will be there for you in life as the person you can lean on so that neither one of us falls. With all my heart I love you Barry. Always."_**

 ** _"Now the rings." Cisco indicated to Joe and Iris. – Excerpt 2x09_**

 ** _Taking another deep breath, she closed her eyes before looking deep into his._**

 ** _"I'm pregnant." – Excerpt 2x16*_**

* * *

Before Barry could hold onto a single moment, his mind drew into darkness and the silence echoed through him as loud as a freight train. The harder he thought about it the more blank his mind grew.

"What is happening to me?" he stuttered as he stumbled backwards.

Confused, Barry took a glance at his son. He stirred slightly in his arms. Barry took a moment, placing him carefully into his crib beside Caitlin. His jaw tense, Barry tore out of the hospital, his feet moving automatically towards the only person who had the answers.

* * *

* _Abandoned warehouse*_

"And here I was thinking you had forgotten all about me?" Eobard snickered.

Barry's jaw tensed at the sight of him. His pulse quickening under his skin as he thundered towards him, his mouth set in a grim line.

"But I am forgetting. What's happening to me!?" Barry fumed, stalking his way towards Eobard.

"I was wondering when you'd notice." He smiled wickedly.

"It's like I'd be thinking about a moment from my past and then... then it vanishes. I can't get it back. Why?!" Barry demanded angrily.

"Flashpoint." Eobard shrugged a matter of factly.

"It's a side effect. Like I told you before you don't know what you're doing. This new reality you've created is starting to override the reality you and I know. So your original life… your friends, your family… pretty soon all of that will fade away." He trailed off.

Barry shook his head in denial. _Nope. Nope. Nope._

"Why isn't it happening to you?"

"Not sure."

Barry snorts in disbelief. Sure he didn't know.

"Unless…" he realized suddenly excited.

"What?" Barry pressed forced.

"What?!" He repeated.

Eobard didn't react instead he burst into a fit of uncontrollable laughter.

"WHAT THE HELL IS SO FUNNY?!"

"YOUR SPEED!" He continued to laugh manically.

"The more you use it the faster you lose your memories." He smirked, enjoying Barry's displeasure.

"No. No you're lying. You just want me to let you out of here. That's not going to happen." Barry shook his head aggressively.

"The _you_ I know from the future… he's not this stupid. Pretty soon you won't even remember that you're the Flash. And when that happens... This world will become permanent. And if you don't remember you're the Flash who's to say you won't forget the life you've created here for yourself…. You wife… your kids… those memories… poof!" He smirked sheepishly.

"Time will set like concrete and nothing will ever be able to change it back to the way it used to be." Eobard explained as his grin grew wider.

"No it's not." Barry whispered bluntly, turning his back on him.

"You know what you have to do. You have to take me back to that night and let me finish what I started." He yelled after Barry.

Barry stopped, spinning on his heels, turning to face his nemesis. "GO TO HELL!"

"YOU"RE TAKING US BOTH THERE! Who's the villain now Flash? Who's the villain now!?"

* * *

Barry roamed around the city in a haze. He didn't know what to do. _How could this be happening?!_ Frustrated Barry threw a punch into a brick wall.

Swearing in pain, Barry broke his hand. Yet he welcomed the pain. It made him somewhat numb to the agony of what was left for him to do.

Dragging his feet, Barry made his way back to the hospital, cradling his broken hand by his side. His legs working autonomously forward, Barry paused by the door of her room. She lay there unchanging. Their son lay sleeping beside her. Barry drew closer, his feet growing heavier with every stride.

Barry pulled up a chair next to her and just stared at her. Silently he willed her to wake up. But she never did. Lacing his fingers through hers, he gripped her tightly, holding her hands in his.

"I thought I could make things better. But everyone's been paying for my happiness. But I'll make things right. I'm sorry." He confessed, his voice shaking.

Barry leaned forward pressing his lips to her forehead. "I love you." He whispered his lips lingering against her skin.

As he pulled away, a gentle knock against the door pulled his attention away.

"Mom, dad." Barry breathed surprised.

"Hey slugger." His father greeted in a low voice.

Barry pushed out of the chair, almost racing over to run into the arms of his mother.

"Daddy!" Charlie bellowed from behind his mother.

Barry stifled a cry, pulling out a smile as he scooped his daughter into his arms, hugging her to him tightly.

"Daddy to tight!" she struggled in his arms.

Barry laughed quietly.

"I'm sorry baby." He said placing her back down on her feet.

"When's mommy waking up?" she asked pulling on the sleeve at his shirt.

Barry looked at his parents who were hunched over his newborn son. They must not know. Barry looked down to his daughter, a heavy weight suffocating him.

His mouth dry, Barry opened his mouth yet he was at a loss for words.

"Umm…." He fumbled, his voice betraying him.

"You okay Barry?" his mother pressed, her face drawn with deep concern.

"Um… yeah. It's just good to see you all one more time." He choked.

"What does that mean?" his father asked confused.

"Nothing. Nothing." Barry shook, giving a wary smile.

"I just wanted you guys to know that these last three months have been the best. To be with you. To be your son. " he swallowed hard.

"Barry you're scaring me." His mother shook.

"There's nothing to be scared of. I promise. I just love you both."

"If you say so." She said looking at him, almost unconvinced.

"I love you too." She replied kissing him on the cheek.

Barry smiled, "I see you've met the newest addition to the family."

"Charlie. Do you want to meet your baby brother?" he called as he picked up his daughter.

"Everyone. This is Bartholomew Raymond Snow Allen."

"Bart!" Charlie struggled pronouncing his full name so shortened.

"Ohh he's so adorable. He looks just like you when you were a baby." His mother cooed.

"He's got his mother's eyes though." Barry's voice broke.

* * *

 _*Moments later*_

With one last unwilling goodbye, Barry fought the urge to hold onto them a moment longer. Stifling back his tears, he excused himself for a brief moment, his feet peddling forward. Each stride forward heavier with the burden in the decision he knew he had to make. For selfish reasons he had gotten everything he had wanted and needed in his life to be happy. And it was because of those selfish reasons to be whole that the very person who deserved a life ever after had it stolen… by him. Shaking his head he wasn't going to make his children go through the same anguish and pain he had growing up without a mother. So he was going to fix things. He knew what he had to do. His decision was made.

"So you're back to take me up on my offer?" Eobard laughed through the metal bars.

Barry didn't reply. Remaining in his silent rage, he unlocked the cage doors releasing his nemesis.

"You know why I'm here." Barry spat back as he stepped aside.

A large smirk pulled across his face. "Oh I know." He gleamed. "But I want you to say it. Tell me what you want me to do Barry."

Barry's jaw pulled tightly. "I need you to kill my mother." He breathed out, his words cutting deep.

The corner of Eobard's lips pulled his grin wider. Pulling on his mask, he held onto Barry, pushing forward the broke into through the speed force propelling forward through time.

With everything they way it one was, Eobard propelled them once again through time. Dropping him to his knees just moments after he had left before.

"Here we go. Things are back to the way they should be. At least for me anyway, but for you…" he smirked.

"I guess you'll just have to wait and see." He laughed.

"What does that mean?" Barry's brows creased close together.

"See you around Flash." He bid goodbye before flashing away.

Barry waited a moment, making sure he didn't return. As the night remained still, Barry moved, his hand hovering over the handle of the front door. Just as he was about to push it forward, his memories began to return. Thundering his brain, Barry gripped onto the handle tighter as he Flashes of his life came barrelling back.

Breathing heavy, Barry regained his composure. He was back. Pushing the door ajar, Barry saw Joe and Wally huddle over the fireplace, both of them drinking in silence. Barry's heart rose at seeing everything the way it should be. Leaping inside, the men turned around just in time for Barry to wrap his arms around Wally.

"What's this for?" Wally asked confused.

"I'm just glad you're here." Barry huffed out stepping back, taking in the surprised expressions on Joe and Wally's face.

"You okay Bar?" Joe's asked concerned.

"Yeah I am now." Barry smiled genuinely in reply.

"You just lost your father. It's okay to not be okay." Joe reassured him.

His mind drifted back to the past few months. "Actually I feel closer to my parents than I've ever had."

"That's good son." Joe said passing him a bottle of beer.

"To your pops." Wally toasted.

"To Henry." Joe added.

"To dad." Barry whispered, his mind drawing back to the three months he had with his family whole.

 _I miss you._ He whispered internally.

Sinking into the couch, Barry inhaled a much needed swig of his beer although it did nothing to him.

"Where's Caitlin, Cisco and Iris?" he breathed out heavy.

"That's not funny." Joe said flatly.

Barry's mouth dropped open. He looked to Wally who avoided his eyes.

"I'll just chalk this one up to grief. I'll see you both in the morning." He added bluntly, dropping his bottle onto the table before disappearing upstairs.

"What? What was that about?" Barry whispered as he pulled himself off the couch watching as Joe vanished for earshot.

"Are you kidding me? You know Iris isn't here! They don't talk Barry you know that." Wally said aghast.

"What?" Barry shrugged clearly confused.

Wally shook his head.

"So where's Caitlin…?"

"Dr Snow?"

"Yeah." Barry nodded.

"She left ages ago. Probably gone home alone." He shrugged.

"I better get back to her then." He excused as he began gathering his coat.

"Where you going Bar? You still live here. Why you going to visit Caitlin?"

"What?! She's my wi—" Barry paused, his fingers reaching to his hand. Clasping his onto his ring finger, Barry held his hand up to his face.

"What?" Barry mumbled stunned. _He and Iris?What?_

His eyes widened in realization. He had no ring.

"What have I done?" he whispered out loud.


	2. 3 Episode 2 Broken

**_Barry's POV_**

 ** _*_** _Star City*_

Barry paced up and down in front of her, the words tumbling out of his mouth.

"I made a big mistake. I just couldn't take it anymore you know?" he spluttered rhetorically continuing on without a beat.

"What happened with Zoom and the baby, my dad dying, my mother's death… me becoming the Flash… _all of it_ … I wanted a new life. I wanted to start over… and that's what I did. But somehow I made things worse…" he huffed out pulling out a seat next to her and sinking in.

"So I reset everything I put everything the way back it was before except some things weren't the same anymore not even a little bit…" he whispered his voice trailing off.

Barry's heart was beating fast _. How the hell was he going to fix this? He needed help. He needed someone to tell him what to do._

"Woah, woah, woah." Felicity interrupted holding up her hands.

"Slow down. Take a breath." She paused.

Barry took her advice, straightening up, he drew in a sharp breathe, but at this point nothing he could seemed to help the overwhelming guilt he felt in the pit of his stomach.

"You are talking way to fast."

He nodded in agreement, biting down on his lips.

"What happened again?" she asked turning in her chair to face him.

Barry looked up. His eyes were soft and dark with guilt. "I really screwed up this time Felicity. And I don't know if I can fix it." he whispered his confession.

In the next second, Barry began to reciting the past couple of months in slow detail until she interrupted him her mind abuzz with all the information he had just burdened her with.

"Okay let me get this straight. You ran back in time…" she started pushing herself up from her chair.

"Yeah." Barry nodded, drawing his hands to the edges of his lips.

"…Stopped Reverse Flash from killing your mom and then lived in an alternate reality where both your parents were alive..." she continued.

"Yeah." Barry nodded again.

"And then you _restored_ the timeline, came back to the moment you left and noticed things were different?!" she emphasised the last line as if looking for clarity.

"Exactly." He huffed out.

"Does that just happen… when you travel through time? Do things just change like that?" she pressed him curious.

"No. No. Not like this… not on - I don't know. I don't know Felicity. I don—I don't know what I'm going to do." He shot his hands up in exasperation. He had no clue what he was going to do and he hadn't had the first clue on how he could fix it.

"Okay why don't you just run… _WALK_." She corrected

 _"WALK_ me through what happened and we'll try figure it out. So what changed?" she said taking back her seat.

Barry closed his eyes for a brief moment. Taking a deep breath. He opened them looking Felicity straight in the eye.

"I knew when I got back last night that some things had changed. But before I could figure out how much I had to deal with something this morning." He began, explaining the events of that morning to her.

"After he was taken care of I went back to S.T.A.R Labs and that's when I found out a lot more things had changed than I realized." He sighed heavily.

She nodded at him to continue, her mouth shut but her ears open.

"Cisco was distant. He wasn't himself. Somehow darker than I remembered him. The light-heartedness gone. Or at least he was like that when I was in the room with him." He paused, his eyes falling down to his hands.

"Iris and Joe weren't talking to each other for reasons I don't know. I tried to find out, yet this information is something I should know not to talk about or bring up with them. I thought that my relationship with Caitlin and Cisco was the biggest thing I had changed but then the strangest thing happened."

"What?" Felicity asked drawn into his story.

"When Caitlin scolded me and took after Cisco, Iris and I were left alone. She told me she wanted to know if I still felt the same way toward her." He said pulling his brows together confused.

"And? What's so strange about that? You do still lover her right?" Felicity shrugged as she picked her way through her container of noodles that Barry and quickly flashed back to them.

"Of course. We've grown up together. She's family."

Felicity looked at him weirdly.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" he asked confused.

"Because you've loved Iris since you were a kid I'm surprised 'she's like family' is all you have to say about that. I was expecting 'of course she's the love of my life blah blah blah'" she mumbled picking up another piece of chicken and throwing it into her mouth hungrily.

"Wait what?" Barry spat out.

"Is that not- wait you don't love her?"

"Of course I do. Or did in that way. But Felicity… I'm married… to Caitlin."

Felicity choked on her food. Barry ran over handing her a bottle of water.

"Thank you." She choked clearing her throat.

As Felicity finally toned down her shade of red, he eased back into his seat.

"Well, I found out we aren't anymore. Not in this timeline at least." He whispered his face falling into his hands.

"How can I have managed to erase our whole marriage... _OUR LIFE_ together?" He shouted.

"I hate when that happens." Felicity grumbled.

"I seriously screwed up. And I can't fix it since she keeps avoiding me."

"So you altered the timeline. Joe and Iris don't talk anymore. There's a new guy, who doesn't like you. You never married Caitlin and Cisco's brothers… dead. Admittedly that is an issue." Felicity pointed out all the highlights.

"What if there's more?" Barry emphasised throwing his hands in the air once again.

"Well is anything here changed?" She asked looking around her.

Barry took a quick glance around him. He hadn't thought just how far he could have screwed up people's lives. The thought panicked him.

"No. I don't know. I mean everything seems the same. I think." He shrugged.

"Good." Felicity sighed in relief.

Barry edged over to the computers. The need to make sure driving him to double check.

"Can I use..." he pointed to the computers. He didn't even wait for permission before his fingers found the keyboard.

"Ugh—" She was about to protest but closed her mouth.

"Hold on. I'll be real careful."

"Hmm…" She bit down nervously on her bottom lip.

"Don't worry I got it." he waved off, turning his full attention to the screen.

Barry used his speed, scouring through everything and everyone in his life. _How much could he have changed?_

"Yeah I don't know. Everything looks okay… wait." He suddenly tensed up, his eyes focusing on a photo of Diggle.

"Who's that young boy?" He stutters turning towards Felicity, his eyes wide and panic stricken.

"No wait. He didn't have a kid before?" she blurted out shocked.

"No, he had a kid. He has a kid. Baby Sara." He stated.

Felicity begins shaking her head vigorously.

"Baby John." She corrected him biting her lip.

"No!" Barry whimpered.

 _Shit. Shit. Shit._

"Omg it can really affect us." She mouthed stunned.

"Do you know what? I don't want to know anymore." He breathed out hopelessly, praying that this was all a nightmare he could wake up from.

"Maybe you should tell them." She proposed.

"No I can't. I've ruined everyone's lives. And telling them is only going to make everything worse. I don't even know how I'm going to fix this."

"Well you're going to figure it out. If there is one thing I've learnt from you is that… _with you_ … anything is possible." She stated with confidence.

"Why cause I'm the Flash?" he mumbled.

"No! Because you are _Barry Allen._ And sweet, loving, kind Barry Allen that everybody likes. The Barry Allen that's just like pudding… can fix this."

"So go and fix this." She encouraged.

Barry nodded his head. Feeling encouraged. She's right. He could do this. _Yes._ He could.

"Yeah. You're right."

"Like now!" She ordered.

"Now?" Barry fumbled out of his chair.

"YES!" She shouted.

* * *

 ** _Caitlin's POV_**

* _Central City*_

Caitlin's body tensed underneath his gaze. Her jaw tightening, she forced herself to focus her full attention to the sample in front of her.

"You know there really isn't much here." She said as her eyes squinted through the microscope.

"Yeah I know, it's basically touch DNA. I practically had to steal a sample because our meta-human expert wouldn't let me take one." Barry's deep voice vibrated low close beside her.

Caitlin didn't know when it happened or why, but something in her had changed. The way she thought and felt about Barry had shifted. If she was honest with herself, it scared her. The way his voice could send her shivers or how the slightest touch could keep her yearning for more of his warmth. Then there were her dreams. It was if they were real.

"What, do you mean Julian Albert?" Caitlin asked clearing her throat, hoping she sounded normal.

"Yeah." Barry sighed heavily under his breath.

"Do you know him?" he asked unable to hide the pang of jealousy in his voice.

"Yeah. We've known him for a while." Cisco said sarcastically rolling his eyes at Barry.

"He's the best." He added under his breath.

Caitlin's eyes shifted from Barry to Cisco, feeling the growing tension between the silence that had fallen over them. Unapologetically, Cisco ignored Barry's stunned expression by turning to face her instead.

"Um, do you need me?" he asked gently.

"No. I think I got this. Thank you." She smiled.

"Okay." Cisco gave her arm gentle encouraging squeeze before leaving her alone with Barry.

Cisco was the only one who Caitlin had confided in and was glad he was more understanding than judging considering his own bitter sentiments towards the man who currently sat staring at her.

Caitlin shifted her weight between her feet nervously. Avoiding his perplexing gaze, Caitlin pretended to busy herself with the sample Barry had stolen from this morning's mysterious husk.

"Cisco told me you showed up to his bereavement group last night." She started.

"Yeah I did. Did he tell you it also didn't go so well?" Barry shrugged.

"It's only been a few months since Dante was killed by that drunk driver. I assume he just needs a little bit more time." She explained, turning around, surprisingly bumping into Barry.

Caitlin stumbled forward almost losing her balance, before a strange yet familiar warmth of Barry's arms came around her pulling her back upright and into his body. For a moment, every thought fell from her mind and she felt herself melt into his embrace. His arms were strong around her, his eyes searching hers for something she couldn't quite understand. His eyes were soft, but something behind them told her there was more he wanted to say but couldn't. Lost, a sudden impulse swept over her body. Leaning in, Caitlin drew closer, her eyes never leaving his. She felt the warmth of his breath on her lips. They were so close. Just before she lost herself in her emotions, some fragment of reasoning pulled her back. _He was with Iris. You don't love him. He doesn't love you._ She told herself pushing herself away from his body, needing the space around her to breathe and to recollect herself.

Dropping her eyes to the ground, Caitlin hoped Barry couldn't see the colour flooding to her cheeks.

Moving away, she turned her back to him. Taking a deep breathe she tried to compose herself. Luckily, he was the first to break the tension.

"But why is he so mad at me?" he mumbled uneasily.

"Oh no! I'm staying out of that." Caitlin spoke, raising her hands almost like she was protecting herself from that train wreck of a conversation.

"Cait…" his voice pleaded, stepping closer his hands reaching out touching her arm.

Caitlin flinched, pulling away.

"…he'll barely look at me unless other people are in the room." He finished retracting his arm back to his side.

"Maybe it's just easier when the all of us are around." She shrugged offering a plausible explanation.

Hell, it definitely was easier when everyone else was around. She couldn't explain why being alone with him, changed the air in the room. She couldn't explain why just the slightest touch sent her pulse racing. Why the way he looked at her made her want to stay there forever. Why did these feelings she thought she had buried years ago suddenly begin to reign over every thought she had. That one kiss… it wasn't even him, yet somehow that kiss awakened something in her. It reopened her heart to love again. And this feeling that swirled deep within her… pulled her to him.

"Do you think that maybe you could convince him to come with you dinner at my house tonight?" he begged.

"Why?" Caitlin asked surprised.

"So I can try and fix things between _us_ …" his voice emphasised with more meaning

"…with Joe and Iris too. Just all of us together again in one room and try and work this out once and for all. Can you do that?"

Caitlin bit down on her bottom lip. Taking a second she contemplated the thought of dinner with him. Realizing he only wanted to patch things up with Cisco and his family, she nodded softly.

A broad smiled spread across his face, a joy in his eyes she hadn't seen in quite a while. It warmed her heart. She couldn't help but smile back.

* * *

 ** _Barry's POV_**

Barry sat at one end of the table. Silently, he began eating his way through the plate of food in front of him. Dinner wasn't as welcoming as he had planned, yet everyone was here. It was off to a good start. Or so he thought.

"This hits the spot huh?" Barry burped, his belly well filled.

"You can thank Grandma Ester." Joe remarked reaching for his second bottle of beer.

"Nah no. I mean it's good. I just meant that umm... all of us actually just here…. together. I was actually thinking ummm… that'd it be fun if we all went away together for a few days, just a little team Flash vaycay." He proposed looking around the table nervously.

"And do what?" Iris said between mouthfuls.

Barry fidgeted with the left overs on his plate.

"Bond. Reconnect." He hoped, his eyes settling themselves on Caitlin.

"You mean like a retreat?" Caitlin asked pulling raising her brows.

Barry opened and closed his mouth trying to find the words.

"Like trust exercises?" Iris added.

"Epic fail. Party of six." Cisco remarked to no one in particular.

A shadow fell across Barry's face. He could feel the growing tension in the room as the silence grew heavy around them.

"I- I just feel that we aren't the team we were or can be." He breathed out his voice saddened.

"No one?" he called around the room.

"I'll be done for it." Wally hollered.

Barry smiled.

"Oh okay!" he said happily, sitting up a little straighter, Wally's eagerness igniting a little hope.

"So besides Wally, am I the only one who thinks it's a good idea?"

"I don't really think the Flash takes vacations." Caitlin stated, dropping her eyes to the table, avoiding him as he turned to look at her.

"Especially with all these husks showing up all over town." Joe added, taking a swig of his beer.

"Speaking of husks I'm glad you're finally open to speak about them." Iris bubbled as she shifted in her chair to face her father.

"Iris I already told you I can't tell you anything about this case." He said flatly.

"Oh really? Because that's not what I was told." Iris snapped, Barry feeling the full force of her glare.

"Strange because I was under the impression that you had some things to say to me too. Isn't that right Bar?"

Suddenly, all eyes were on Barry. Barry squirmed nervously in his seat.

"Told you." Cisco pointed towards Caitlin a smirk on his face.

"Epic fail." He mouthed.

Exasperated, Barry threw his napkin down in front of him. "Okay fine I organised this and put this all together." He shouted.

"Look we're not acting like a team and I just wanted things back to the way they were. Fixed." He blurted out frustrated.

"If you wanted things fixed then you should have gone back in time and stopped my brother from dying." Cisco seethed.

A cold silence fell over them. Barry stared his mouth gaping at Cisco. Opening his mouth, Barry was dry trying to figure out the words.

"You want me to change the timeline to save Dante?"

"Why would you do that? It's not like he was your brother." Cisco spat back, rolling his eyes.

Across from him, Barry could see Caitlin shift in her seat as if she were about to do something to defuse the situation. But before she could the alerts beeping across the table interrupted them before a real conversation could take place.

"Meta-human app. We have to go." Cisco jumped out of his chair and retreated to leave.

One by one everyone followed suit. Barry sat in his seat, watching as everyone made their way out. Caitlin was the last of them to leave. When Barry lifted his head, he saw Caitlin watching him closely. Before she pulled herself up she mouthed a 'sorry' before following out with the others.

Barry let out a deep breath and sped out in front of everyone.

* * *

* _Back at S.T.A.R Labs*_

Barry couldn't understand how this was happening. He thought that he had restored the timeline _. So how was the Edward Clariss still the Rival?_ More questions and less answers, rattled around his brain as he paced back and forth.

"We finally get rid of Zoom and there's another evil speedster?" Joe mumbled under his breathe.

"Who is this guy now?" Wally asked.

Barry couldn't answer. _How could he tell them who he was without telling them he screwed up?_

"I can help out with that. I finally got the results back that I ran on the sample of the husk Barry gave me this morning and it's weird. There are no traces of dark matter but traces of the speed force." Caitlin explained as she worked to project her results on the other screens around the room.

Barry snapped his head up. _Shit._

"and that's the husk from this speedster?" Joe pointed to one of the monitors.

"And so he's name is…." Caitlin began.

"Edward Clariss." Barry interrupted admitting the truth.

Everyone looked to Barry, each expression as curious or a shocked as the next person.

"And somehow Barry is exactly right." Caitlin muttered confused.

Before Barry was forced to explain how he knew exactly who he was, Iris' voice begged to be heard.

"Can I talk to you for a second?" Iris asked although her voice commanded.

Barry nodded. Following her out of the cortex and around the corner to a secluded part of the hallway.

"S.T.A.R Labs isn't the only one with access to the city's security cameras. It's pretty obvious that this guy knows you." She confronted him with the footage on her phone.

'Do you want to tell me what that's about?" she demanded.

Barry froze, lost for words. Where could he begin to explain?

"That's why you've been acting so weird lately, trying to get me and my dad talking again and tricking us all into dinner tonight. Because you're keeping something from us?" she paused waiting for him to stop her and explain everything.

But he remained silent.

"You need to tell me what's going on. _Right now_. And if you lie to me… this thing between us can't happen." Iris stated aggressively.

"You're right. I know. I'm sorry. I did this. All of this." He confessed whole-heartedly.

"It's my fault and I've been trying to fix it and I think that there's only one way to fix it now. I'm sorry Iris."

Before she had time to say anything he ran out on her. His feet hitting hard against the pavement, pushing him faster and faster ahead until he broke through the time barrier, his mind thinking back to before he left to save his mom. As the time pulled him back into the past, a sudden force yanked him out. Barry's body hit the ground hard. Wincing, Barry turned up, his eyes squinting at the sun before a shadow of a figure fell over him.

"Flash?" Barry huffed out.

"Flash. Now put these on. We need to talk." He said throwing him a set of clothing.

* * *

* _Central City 1998*_

Confused, Barry did as he was told and slipped himself quickly into the clothes he was given.

"Where are we?" he whispered, following Jay into a small diner.

"Motorcar diner in Central City" Jay gleamed as he took a deep breath of burnt bacon and hot coffee.

"Yeah I meant what year?" he whispered discreetly through his teeth.

"1998." He smiled broadly in reply, walking them over to a free table.

"Do want to get something to eat because I'm starved. The corn beef has here is the best I've ever had."

"Is that why you pulled me out of the speed force? To buy me a meal?" he eyed him in disbelief.

"No, because you were about to reset the timeline again after screwing it all up!" Jay answered unfazed.

Barry opened and closed his mouth. _How did he know?_

"Oh yeah I know all about that." He responded to Barry's lack of words.

"How did you kn-"

"After your not so subtle reaction to when you first met me. Harry told me all that happened with Zoom and your mom and your dad so I decided I'd keep my eye on you for a little bit." He shrugged.

"Did he tell you anything else?" Barry asked holding his breath.

"He did." He paused.

"I'm your father's doppelgänger. Sorry about that."

"It's just really weird." Barry said his voice soft, trying to wave off the true meaning of the resemblance.

"And really sad too. I'm sure. Having a loss like that, I see why you wanted to erase it. Who wouldn't want to try and save their parents? I understand that Barry. _Completely_. But the thing is… there are consequences to time travel."

"I have heard all of this before." Barry said with annoyance.

"Not from me you haven't. I'm not some doctor with a theory Barry. I'm a speedster like you who's travelled though time and made the same mistakes you are making right now."

"Okay let me show you something." He said taking a mug into his hand.

Barry shook his head. He didn't have to listen to this.

"You know wha-"

"Humour me kid." He said indicating that Barry retake his seat.

Barry sat back down unwillingly, he listened to Jay.

"This coffee cup right here." He said holding the up right between them.

"Think of it as the space time continuum. And whenever you go back in time it breaks." He explained, vibrating his hand so that a piece of the mug broke.

"Now you can travel back in time and try and fix it but no matter how hard you try… it's never going to be exactly the way it was."

Jay represented as he tried placing the pieces back together.

"But I've learned all this stuff that I didn't know before, okay. I'm..." Barry began to protest.

"Not going to make the same mistakes." He mimicked along with Barry.

"Yeah. What you just did, right there… that's the paradox of time travelling. And also the paradox of life. If only I knew then what I knew now…"

"What's the point of having these powers if I can't go back and fix what I broke?" Barry stressed.

"We are not gods. _We're_ men. Who for whatever reason were given extraordinary abilities. The question you need to ask yourself is what hero are you going to be? Are you just going to take a do-over every time you make a mistake or are you going to live with them and move forward?"

* * *

 ** _Caitlin's POV_**

 ** _*_** _Present day Central City*_

"Where's Barry?" Caitlin asked as Iris walked back in tearful.

Before she had a chance to speak, Barry sped back into the room, causing her hair to fall over her face.

"I need to tell you all something." He paused, looking everyone in the eye.

Caitlin brushed her hair back, her eyes settling on Barry.

"The truth." He said in almost a whisper, his eyes locking on Caitlin.

Caitlin saw something sad in his eyes. She could see it all over his face. The way he hung his head. The way he spoke in a whisper. She didn't know how she could recognise this but deep down she knew something in him was tearing him apart.

"The truth about what?" Iris asked her voice hurt as she brushed a tear away.

Barry looked away ashamed. His head avoiding everyone's gaze as he spoke.

"After Zoom killed my dad, after we defeated him…" he began.

"I wasn't in a great space and I felt the only way I could fix that was to run back in time and save my mom." He explained.

"You stopped the Reverse Flash from killing your mom?" Caitlin spoked, her mouth gapping in shock.

"Yeah." He smiled at her, his eyes glistening with some past memory she could only assume was happy.

"Wait. So is she alive?" Wally interrupted.

"She was." Barry nodded.

"For a few months. My dad and…" he stopped, looking at Caitlin. He's eyes intense as if they held a secret only they knew. But she didn't know what that secret was.

"I wasn't even the flash for a while." He laughed softly to himself.

"I don't understand. You created a whole other existence how is that possible?" Wally asked confused.

"Okay ummm…" Barry rushed a hand through his hair nervously.

Caitlin watched as he took a marked and began drawing on the glass behind him.

"Okay this is the time line. This is the point in which we exist on it now and this past point is where my mom was murdered." He began explaining.

"So when I saved her I created a new reality. A new timeline I was living in." he added another line.

"A new universe." Cisco whispered understanding.

"It's called Flashpoint apparently." Barry shrugged.

"But you decided to leave it. Why?" Caitlin pressed.

"Life started to spiral out of control. People got hurt…" he paused flickering to Wally then to Caitlin.

"Some people… died…" he said almost as a whisper.

"Some things I can't really explain. But for one, this guy… Clariss. He was a speedster there too, known as the Rival. He caused a lot of problems so I decided to run back in time again and let things happen as they were supposed to in hopes of resetting the timeline but…" he said adjusting the truth slightly.

"But what?" Iris pushed further.

"But when I came back things weren't the same." He whispered, the pain his voice evident.

"You mean people? _Us?"_ Caitlin emphasised, her eyes widening in shock.

Barry took a step forward but stopped himself. He looked at her, the pain and hurt in his eyes radiating into her. His feelings… her feelings beginning to overwhelm her. Stumbling back, she leaned herself against the desk, holding on as she tried to get herself back under control.

"Yeah… yeah… I create a new timeline and it's the one we're living in now." He nodded his voice breaking as he spoke.

"It's not as different as the last one. Not in large ways, in some ways and in smaller ways… ahh in meaningful ways for some of you and anybody who's close to me. And I can't ever really put it back together."

"Bar that's a lot to take in." Joe said taking in a sharp breath.

"I know it is." He cried.

"Me and my dad got along in the other life, my dad and I, didn't we? That's why you've been working so hard to get us talking again?" Iris asked looking to her father.

Barry wiped away the tears falling down the side of his face.

"Okay here's the thing. I will tell you what is different for all of you, if you want to know." He paused.

"But you have to live with those differences because I can't change it again. But at least you'll know and you all deserve that choice."

"So you decided it was okay to change things when someone in your family dies but when it's someone in mine…." Cisco spoke out angrily.

Caitlin hid her head in her hands. Taking a deep breath, she wiped away her tears and began after Cisco.

 _This was all too much_. She told herself. But it explained so much, yet she remained more confused than ever.

Just as she broke away from the team, her footsteps growing heavier as she followed after Cisco, a warm hand pulled her back.

Caitlin spun around, her vision a little clouded behind the tears pooling in her eyes.

"I'll go talk to him." Barry whispered. His eyes on her, soft and apologetic.

Caitlin couldn't find the words. Instead she nodded. He let go of her, leaving her alone.

Caitlin fell to the side, leaning against the cold hard wall she let out a breath she hadn't realised she's been holding.

 _Shit._ She said to herself confused.

 _Shit._

* * *

 ** _Barry's POV_**

Barry followed after Caitlin. He saw her shaking. It tore him to pieces knowing that he couldn't wrap his arms around her. To kiss her. To tell her that she was going to be okay. That they were going to be okay. _He really screwed up._ Restraining himself. He reached out to her, touching her lightly by the arm.

"I'll go talk to him." He whispered.

Caitlin looked up at him. Her eyes swollen and red. His jaw tightened. How he longed to hold her. But knew it would confuse her. Even scare her.

He doesn't really know what kind of past they had together here, and he didn't want to do anything to push her further from him.

As he looked down at her, his eyes searching hers, in hope a small piece of recognition but finding nothing, he took her nod and let go of her.

As she fell away out of sight behind him, Barry let out a deep breath. Pausing in the doorway of his workshop, Barry took a moment to compose himself.

"Hey. What are you working on?" he started, taking a step into the room.

"These are the gantlets for my suit. And you probably don't know nothing about that do you?" Cisco retorted, his back turned to Barry.

"I'm really trying here Cisco." Barry whispered deflated.

"Barry, I'm the one who's been trying. I've been trying this whole time to get you to do this one thing for me. But you kept on saying 'no Cisco… I can't Cisco… I would never do that Cisco' and now you're telling me you went and did it for yourself." He turned towards Barry, pushing him angrily against the chest.

Barry took the shoves. He deserved it. Staggering back with every blow, Barry waited until his friend was finished.

"Were you listening back there? It went bad, it went really bad." Barry explained. Wishing he could tell him how bad it went.

 _He was losing his memory…Wally was dying. Caitlin was dead…_ It went really bad.

"I DON'T CARE! At least I'd have my brother back." Cisco shouted.

"Yeah you would have him back. But because of it somebody might have something happen to them and that's just as awful just like what happened to Dante and trust me you don't want that on your conscience. It's a heavy burden to bear." Barry explained, knowing that burden all too well. Having to live with the fact he couldn't save his mother… living with the burden that he had pleaded with his worst enemy to kill her… the thought broke him.

"And I don't know how many times I've said this but I'm really sorry about Dante man." Barry apologised, his voice soft and broken.

"Sorry doesn't change anything." Cisco bit back.

"No it doesn't. But I can't go back. I can't change it. All I can do is move forward. I really hope you can too."

* * *

 ** _Caitlin's POV_**

* _Later that day*_

When Caitlin re-emerged to join the team, Caitlin searched the room her eyes seeking out a particular set of eyes but his were nowhere to be found. Barry wasn't here. A little disappointed, Caitlin sat herself down beside her desk, listening to the argument brewing around her.

"He changed our lives Iris. And he kept that secret from us and you really just want us to be okay with that?" Wally said in an outburst of frustration.

"All I'm saying Wally is that he made a mistake." Iris defended.

"Yeah he did." Cisco blew out as he rolled his eyes.

"Cisco we all make mistakes to protect the people that we love. I mean you told Captain Cold that Barry was the Flash in order to protect your brother." She reminded him.

"Okay... Not my finest moment." Cisco sighed in agreement.

"That's my point. One decision made in moment made in one heart-wrenching moment. Look guys, we're like a family here. Okay. And sometimes families get made at each other for screwing up. I know that all too well." She paused looking towards her father, who remained silent.

"But they also forgive. Because after a while it all seems silly when you stop and think about it a while." She shrugged.

Her father smiled at her, his eyes longing to hold his baby girl. With tears in his eyes, he pulled her into his arms, holding her there for the longest time.

Caitlin smiled in awe. How she longed to be held strong in someone else's arms. And in that instant her mind flashed to Barry. His arms holding her to his chest, their body's tangled together, the warmth of his body radiating into hers. She smiled at the thought, but quickly shook them away.

"Guys Iris is right. We all have secrets. We've all screwed up. But this is Barry we're talking about." Caitlin chimed up loudly, distracting herself from her own thoughts.

There was a beat of silence before the monitor up her caught her attention.

"Who apparently is in trouble?" she stated concerned. Caitlin's fingers began typing across the board, her heart beating fast against her chest.

"Barry! Barry!" she echoed into the coms.

"His coms aren't working…" Cisco analysed beside her.

"He's at the Prescot Mill." He added.

"That's right around the corner." Joe responded.

Caitlin turned to Joe, her face flushed with concern.

"We have to do something." Caitlin breathed out, her voice slightly panicked.

* * *

 ** _Barry's POV_**

Barry stretched his arm over his chest as the group gathered together in the cortex. If it wasn't for his team he wouldn't be sure he'd be here right now. By changing time he had broken them but as he stood in front of his friends and family, he knew that staying put was the only way he was going to make things better. As much as he hated to admit it… Jay was right. He had to figure out what kind of hero and more importantly the kind of man he wanted to be. He wanted to be the man to stop running. He wanted to reclaim his home and ground himself once more. He wanted Caitlin.

"Nothing. No mention of Alchemy anywhere. No masked wearing monk metas not even close." Cisco's voice came echoing into his mind bringing him back out of his thoughts.

"I didn't find any known alias or records at CCPD and Clariss won't say anything." Barry added clearing his throat and joining the conversation.

"We'll keep at him. Alchemy is the one who gave Clariss back his speed?" Joe asked.

"He's kind of like a doctor that way… don't you think?" Cisco added, arching his eyebrow suggestively.

Barry shook his head trying to contain his smirk.

"Come on don't pretend that Dr Alchemy doesn't have a good ring to it." Cisco defended eyeing his co-workers.

"Well that explains why he didn't have any dark matter in his system. He didn't get them from the particle accelerator. He got them from Alchemy." Caitlin explained, propping herself up onto the desk, crossing her legs over.

"What's that?" Cisco smiled pulling a hand up to his ear.

"Dr Alchemy." She corrected, returning his smiled.

Cisco beamed. Barry noticing if only a fraction of his old self coming back.

"How could he do that?" Wally pressed.

"I don't know but there's going to be more. Alche—Dr Alchemy said that he was preparing this world." Barry added, recounting his previous encounter with him.

"Preparing the world?" Iris shrugged.

"Ahm." Barry nodded.

"For what? The second coming or something?" Wally interjected.

"I think that everyone who had powers in Flashpoint are going to get them back." He responded, his voice trailing off as he thought of Wally in Flashpoint. Biting his tongue from saying anything further he looked away.

"Well we already found four other husks so that means there's got to be that many running around the city right now." Said Joe.

"We got to find him before he changes more people's lives." Barry emphasised slightly.

"Speaking of changing lives. We spoke about it Barry and we don't want to know what ours were like in Flashpoint." Iris spoke as she looked around her, everyone nodding in agreement.

"You sure?" he questioned, his eyes scanning the faces in the room, pausing as he caught Caitlin's eyes.

Caitlin, nodded slightly, her cheeks flushing red he noticed as she bit down on her lip nervously turning away from him.

"To quote the wise words of Harry, what's the point Allen." Cisco mimicked.

Barry laughed at Cisco's poor imitation.

"I got to get to the precinct…" Joe sighed as he placed his phone back into his pocket.

"And stop by Jitters on the way there?" Iris suggested.

"Sure it's on me." He smiled broadly.

"Oh good I'm coming too." Wally jumped in.

Iris laughed, leaning over she pressed a quick against Barry's cheek, surprising him. Still uneasy on how much the lives around them have changed, Barry cautiously smiled and waved them goodbye.

Rubbing his hand against the back of his neck, he nervously glanced up towards Caitlin. He noticed as she turned away, her eyes darken and her smile fade. As every fibre of his being wanted to apologise and explain, he knew they didn't want to know about life before Flashpoint. So respecting their wishes he had to do everything else he could to fix things and win her back.

"I was thinking… You know it was pretty cool having someone out there with me last night. Maybe we could make that a thing every once in a while." He said clearing his throat and drawing his attention back to patching things up with Cisco.

"I got some things to work on before we start doing that." He muttered.

"Yeah." He agreed a little deflated.

"Maybe someday. It'd be pretty bitchin." He smiled, turning a smile before leaving the room.

"Glad to see everything going back to the way it was." Caitlin sighed, fiddling with the hem of her skirt.

Barry came around the desk so he was facing her.

"Yeah I mean mostly." He whispered.

When she looked up he was close. In that small distance, it was if everything around them had stopped. The air became thicker as they stared into each other's eyes. Barry watched her closely. Her eyes never leaving his. The colour in her cheeks began to turn into a dark shade of pink, he noticing as she took a deep breath and held it.

"Barry.." her voice came out weak.

Barry smiled, but his couldn't fight the aching burning in his chest. But giving her the space, he took a few steps back.

"You Cait have nothing to worry about." He paused.

"I think out everyone actually you're the only one who wasn't really affected by the timeline" he lied with a smile.

* * *

 ** _Caitlin's POV_**

Caitlin wasn't sure what in the world had just happened. _What had happened?_ As she climbed her way up the familiar set of stairs leading to the roof, her mind replayed that moment over and over. How close his body was to her. She could feel his breath across her skin. How his eyes darkened with a strange yearning she couldn't understand. His gaze was intense, his eyes constantly searching hers. She felt as the room slowed down around her, as if there were nothing but them in that moment. Her heart beat hard against her chest; she turned a shade of red, scared that he'd hear it. A part of her wanted to run her fingers through his hair and feel the softness of his lips on hers, but the sane part. The part of reason kept her from making a mistake. She was glad as he took a few steps back allowing her to breathe. She didn't even realise she was holding her breath until he turned to leave. It was then that something stirred inside her. Unclenching her fingers from the edge of the desk, she felt the chill brush over her skin, the coldness radiating through her finger tips. As she held her hand up, they began to ice. Caitlin's face fell. His words echoing back to her. _"I think out everyone actually you're the only one who wasn't really affected by the timeline."_ Clasping her hand shut the heat of her body returned to normal.

Now in the open spaces of S.T.A.R Labs, one of the few places she actually could stop thinking and just be was here. The roof. She thought back to the times where this placed had made her see sense. Consoled her after Ronnie died and helped her find perspective. Today was one of those days. She needed clarity. She needed direction. She needed to understand what she's been feeling, seeing, dreaming. Just as she closed her eyes, breathing in the crisp air of the late afternoon, a strong familiar voice called out to her from behind.

"Hey."

Caitlin spun around, he was lying across the roof, towards the south his body now raised onto his elbow as he noticed her.

"Hey." She called back her voice a little shaky.

She watched as Barry stood up, shaking off the dust from his jeans and coming to sit beside her, both of them facing out towards the city.

She tried to ignore as his fingers brushed against the side of her thigh as he wrapped his arms around his knees, his eye glued to the cityscape before him.

"Always loved the view from up here." She inhaled closing her eyes reminding herself to breathe.

This was not the clarity, direction nor understanding she was looking for. _Or was it?_

"Me too." He exhaled.

Silence grew between them, she kept her eyes closed, trying extremely hard to concentrate. But with him so close she had to admit it was difficult.

"Are you sure you don't want to know about the other timeline?"

His question threw her. Opening her eyes she looked at him. His eyes were soft, looking at her, searching once again for an answer to a question she didn't know.

It confused the hell out of her. For a second she didn't know what to say. A part of her did. _But how would she feel if she knew the truth and recognised the differences?_ She thought hard. She did want to know.

"No I guess in my mind if I know things might change." She confessed.

"Change can be good." He replied his voice hopeful.

"Maybe…" she whispered her voice hiding something.

Maybe it was better she didn't know. _Ignorance is bliss right?_

"So you and Iris huh?" she said changing the subject.

"What about us?" he said almost offended.

His reaction surprised her.

"Together right?" she said raising her brows prompting him, somewhat as a reminder.

She saw them that night on the porch. _That kiss…_

"I dunno. Everything's just really confusing right now. I mean from my life in Flashpoint to the life now… I'm just not sure anymore." He whispered out.

"Well it doesn't matter anyway." She shrugged, distracting herself once again reminding both of them of the reality in the truth. They were going to end up together anyways.

"Why would you say that?"

"The future paper?"

Barry gave her a quizzical look.

"Mrs. West-Allen." She emphasised.

Barry voice caught in his throat.

"Oh." He choked, remembering it.

"Cait.. " he said his voice soft and low. Reaching out his hand over hers.

She flinched away, a pulse electricity shotting through her, igniting the cells in her body. She sucked in a sharp breath. He just sat there next to her, staring deep into her eyes, continuously searching hers. If she only knew what he was looking for. She couldn't explain it or know why but something about the way he looked at her stirred something deep within her chest. Something new, something dormant, something she feels has probably been there the whole time. Everything so unclear, Caitlin knew she had to get away before anything could happen. Clearing her throat she picked herself up and excused herself.

Barry couldn't do anything to stop her. Instead all he could do was sit and watch as she left him there… alone. It wasn't until she began climbing down the stairs that she allowed herself to let it all sink in. She paused. Her heart beating loud against her chest. In that quiet moment she found herself in, she listened to the beating of her heart, her breaths following in a steady rhythm.

Trying to find her balance and compose herself she closed her eyes willing her heart beats back to normal. Just as she had a found a small moment of clarity, her mind drew into darkness… to peace. She smiled to herself. Just as she thought she was back to normal, a vision flashed through her mind. It replayed over in the front of her mind like an old movie.

 _*She found herself standing in the middle of the main living area, the room bare and vast, however was illuminated by hundreds of warm candles casting majestic shadows that danced slowly with each other around the room. Caitlin's heart skipped a beat as she took an intake of air, smelling the sweet aroma of the red and white rose petals scattered romantically throughout the room. She noticed that a portion of the room however remained void, creating a path that led out the glass doors at the other end of the room. Before she took another step further she spun around her eyes seeking out his in the dim light of the candle light._

 _Moments continued without pause… the kiss… the vows… the kiss…_

 _Her lips melted against his, her arms wrapping around his neck, pulling herself closer to him. Breaking a part slightly, hearing the roars of applause and whistling around them, Barry place a hand at the back of her head, a cheeky grin on his face and in one smooth motion Barry pulled Caitlin down into a dip. Smiling widely he leaned back down slowly and kissed her with a gentle passion._

 _"I love you Mrs Allen." He whispered against her lips and he drew her back up onto both feet._

 _"I love you too… Mr Allen."*_

Caitlin's eyes snapped open. And the visions stopped. Caitlin looked frantically around her. She was still standing in the hallway by the foot of the stairs. Her breathing now ragged and shallow, Caitlin hastily pushed her way through the empty hallways until she managed to lock herself alone in her med bay, questioning herself and what she had just dreamed… or seen…

 _Shit!_ She breathed out heavy.


	3. 3 Episode 3 Changes

**_Hey guys! Only a couple of chapters in and I'm glad you guys are enjoying continuing on this journey with these two characters._**

 ** _Someone did ask if Jay and Caitlin had dated in the timeline that now exists after Barry had created Flashpoint and then returned. The answer is yes. Everything that actually happened in the show would have happened in this timeline and that's what these characters besides Barry remembers. So with Barry restoring the timeline, only he has lived through everything I had written about his life with Caitlin etc. While everyone has different memories and experiences like Iris and Barry in a 'relationship', Cisco's brother dying etc._**

 ** _Hope that sort of makes sense._**

* * *

 ** _Barry's POV_**

 _*CCPD*_

Barry stared at the clock in front of him. The seconds ticking by so slowly he couldn't focus on anything but the sound of the hand moving to the next second. Work had become somewhat overcrowded for Barry these days, something new he now had to live with. Ever since he changed the timeline, he had been tirelessly trying to get back things to the way they were and it was proving more difficult. Every day there seemed to be more things he' noticed that had changed. One pressing difference was his relationship with his best friend Iris and his lack of relationship with Caitlin.

As he sat there in his office he stared at the watch mounted above the door more anxious to leave then when he arrived. He had a date with Iris. It was news to him but apparently it was something which they apparently had planned for quite a while. Barry twisted at his hands nervously. He had to figure out how deep of a relationship they were in just so he knew how to break her heart. The thought of it was making him nauseous. She was his best friend and the thought that he was the one to hurt her broke him. But he couldn't live this life, pretending or pulling her along when his heart had always belonged to someone else. In this life and in others. He had to make things right.

"ALLEN!" Julian yelled.

"Enough with the knee!" he huffed out in a stern tone before resting himself behind his own desk.

Subtly rolling his eyes, Barry pushed out of his chair exasperated.

"Uh where are you going?" Julian pointed out.

Barry reluctantly turned to face him as he threw his bag over his shoulder.

"I-I'm going on a date." Barry replied casually.

Like what he did on his own time after business hours was any of his business he thought to himself.

"Ha well not yet you're not." He scoffed.

"You know what you're not actually my boss Julian." Barry said firmly, his frustration for Julian only intensifying.

"I am the senior lab tech and the last time I checked the hours were 10am to 7pm. Not 6.58. Not 6.59 but _7!_ " He emphasised.

Barry smiled cockily as the final second of that god awful minute ticked over to the hour.

"See you tomorrow." He smirked before leaving his work day behind him.

* * *

*Outside _CCPN*_

As fast as Barry was, his curse was that he was always late. And as he rushed home, weighing his options, time had escaped him and now he was running late to meet Iris. Shaking his head, Barry threw on his coat. A final look in the mirror, Barry nodded to himself. Finding the courage to get through tonight and facing the agonising truth that he'd have to break his best friend's heart.

Just as Iris locked the doors to the building of her employment, Barry sped down the street almost tumbling over his feet as he skidded to a halt.

"I'm so sorry I'm late." He apologised breathlessly.

Iris smiled at him. "No it's fine. You're just on time. Tonight I just want to be with you." She whispered leaning closer as she placed her hand on his chest.

"Barry Allen not the Flash." She finished.

Barry flinched under her touch. It felt so foreign and out of place. This whole thing was his mess. Standing there he was cursing at himself. _How the hell am I going to get out of this?_

Barry sensed her disappointed as he moved from under her touch. Reacting he reached out for her hand instead, holding it gently in his.

"So…" he mumbled nervously.

"Tonight, no Flash talk no speed." She stated.

"No problem." Barry smiled.

"Starting now. The Flash is officially off limits." He agreed.

Iris smile grew. He could see the excitement in her eyes. It killed him. She didn't deserve this. She deserved so much better than him breaking her heart.

"So wow um where are we going?"

Her question pulled him from his thoughts. If he was honest he hadn't really thought about where they'd actually go. Feeling the guilt weighing heavily on him, he knew he had to make this break up as smoothly and painless as possible. He knew she deserved the world and for tonight he hoped that by showing her a special night it would help lessen the blow of heartbreak.

"It's a surprise."

* * *

* _Some fancy restaurant*_

Barry squirmed uncomfortably in his seat.

"Are you planning on donating a kidney sometime in the near future or?" Iris commented.

"A kidney?" Barry choked confused. His mind had been racing, his stomach queasy he hadn't managed to pay attention to anything Iris had just said.

"This place…" she emphasised as her eyes grew wide looking at the menu.

"Don't look at the prices. Get whatever you want." He forced a smile.

Their attentions drawn back to the menu, Barry couldn't help but continuously glancing up at her. He was so petrified about how tonight was going to go. Reaching out across the table, Barry drew the chilled glass of water to his mouth.

Silence enveloped them as they concentrated on the menu. However, Barry couldn't think of anything else but the heartbreak that awaits both of them at the end of this night. He just hoped their relationship would survive after it.

"So…" Barry began fumbling over his words.

"Umm soo…"

"How was work?" Barry instigated small chat.

"Um yeah super busy how about you?" she replied.

"Ahh well Julian had me write up a carbon dating report then a DNA sequencing report a couple of chemical compound reports so he pretty much gives me all the work he doesn't want to do so.." he rambled on nervously, his palms sweaty he vigorously had to keep drying his hands on his pants.

Aware, from the corner of his eye, Iris tried disguising her boredom. She let out a tired yawn.

"Oh I know it's boring I'm sorry." Barry apologised, downing his glass of water in one go.

"Oh no it's just been a long day." She waved trying to reassure him.

Barry smiled, but he could see somewhere beneath her eyes that she was lying. Hey to be honest, talking about work and science… to most people listening to him babble on about all this was boring. He couldn't really blame her.

"Yeah I know me too." He agreed. _It had been a LONG day_.

As they digested the menu, distant alarms sirened off in the distance. Curious, Barry hailed over the waiter rushing by.

"Um what's going on?"

"Apparently a robbery is in progress across the street. Excuse me." He apologized and raced over to the window for closer inspection.

Barry's jaw tensed. He promised Iris no Flash. Torn he turned to Iris, searching her, pleading with her.

"Go." She whispered.

"Go. Go." She nodded as she slumped back into her seat.

"Are you sure?" Barry looked at her pressingly to make sure if she was really okay.

"Yeah use your speed. Go." She waved, reaching for her almost empty glass of wine.

Barry sighed but said no more before rushing out and was back just before she finished her glass.

"Um where were we?" Barry fiddled with the table settings as he sat back down.

Before either one of them had a chance to open their mouths their phones simultaneously vibrated a welcoming distraction.

"Cisco." Barry breathed hopefully hiding his sense of relief.

"We should go." Iris insisted.

"Yeah." Barry nodded in agreement.

* * *

 ** _Caitlin's POV_**

* _S.T.A.R Labs*_

Caitlin sternly looked straight ahead. The breach before them widening as it waited for something to enter into their world. Guarded behind Joe and Cisco, Caitlin's hands gripped tightly on the railing, waiting in anticipation for whatever came through from the other side.

As soon as the S.T.A.R Labs systems alerted them to the open breach, the team assembled down in the basement level waiting. Cisco had managed to send out an emergency 911 to Barry before he armed himself with a weapon, defensively positioning himself for an attack.

Not a moment later, Barry sped in joining them, Iris by his side. Caitlin unconsciously noted that both were dressed nicely. A pang of jealously that rose in the depths of her chest unsettled her. The unexpected feeling throwing her mind into a frenzy.

"What's going on?"

Still reeling from the wave emotions flooding her, Caitlin opened her mouth as she pointed to the obvious breach in front of them. "THAT!" she shouted her voice a little more aggressively than she realized.

She noted that Barry had noticed the harshness in her tone but focused to the more pressing matter at hand.

Caitlin cursed herself for feeling this way. It bothered her more than she'd like to admit that the sight of Barry and Iris made her feel things when it never used to. She hated herself for it. But she couldn't help it. Something had changed. She didn't know when. She didn't know how or why but there was something pulling her to Barry. Something she couldn't explain. The dreams. The memories. All of it sent her spinning in this uncontrollable spiral it scared her.

"Yo why did you open up a breach?" Barry shouted towards Cisco.

"I didn't." he defended. His concentration glued to the open breach.

"What?" he breathed heavily as he ruffled a hand through his hair.

"That's why we called you." Joe added. His gun also pistoled towards the breach.

"Well can you close it?" Iris asked.

"Once again. Wouldn't have called if I could." Cisco remarked.

"Ahh somebody's coming through."

"Alright get back." Joe ordered his daughter.

As everyone braced themselves for the unknown a familiar face jumped through the breach, his hands up as he looked around the room.

"Allen." Harry whispered.

"Wells."

"I need your help." He sighed.

"With what?" Barry said stepping forward.

Before Harry had a chance to explain, a streak of yellow lightening came bolting out just as the breach closed behind it.

"With that." Harry exclaimed.

Jesse skidded to a stop. A broad childish smile spread across her face.

"Hey guys." She waved as she bounced energetically between the weight of her feet.

"Jesse. You're a speedster." Wally muttered in disbelief.

"Yeah it's pretty cool right."

"I mean I would say so." Cisco smiled welcoming Jesse into a hug.

"When did this happen?" Caitlin asked curiously as she stepped out from behind the railing to join them.

"A few days ago." She shrugged.

"So when I got Allen his speed back, Wally and Jesse were hit with the dark matter. Turns out she was effected. She was _TOTALLY_ affected." Harry rambled on panicked.

"But I didn't get speed so could it have been from something else?" Wally pressed.

"No. I mean I doubt it. Dark matter affects different people in different ways at different times sometimes not at all so be thankful but she was affected and I want to run some tests to see just how much." Harry explained.

"Well then you've come to the right place. Let's go to the speed lab." Caitlin smiled, turning to lead the way.

"Speed lab?" Harry and Barry in unison.

* * *

 ** _Barry's POV_**

* _Speed Lab*_

"This is insane!" Barry exclaimed as his mouth drew open in awe. His eyes scouting out the new room.

"Something tells me you've never been in this room before." Cisco commented.

"Nope." He sighed.

"Wait. You—You nev—Allen. Does this mean you travelled back in time again?" He gaped at Barry.

"Yeah but…" Barry shrugged.

"How many times have I said not to do that?!" he lectured.

"Well you figured that out pretty quickly Harry." Iris pointed out.

"Yes Miss West. It was easy because we've never been here either." He emphasised.

"Nope." Jesse agreed in awe, her eyes roaming in wonder around the room.

"Right other Earth other timeline."

"Yes exactly. So when did you do it Allen? After we returned to Earth 2?" he interrogated.

"Look Harry. Only a couple are things are different." Barry defended.

"I'm sure… NOT!" Harry shook his head disappointed.

"Really? You guys are doing 'not' on Earth 2 now?" Cisco laughed.

"Ahh no that's all him!" Jesse responded.

"Okay! Let's just get Jesse on the track and see what she can do." Caitlin interrupted.

"Yeah let's do it." Jesse said eagerly "Alright check this out." She smiled coyly, shrugging out of her jacket before taking off into the track.

"Dayum! She really can move." Joe gaped amazed.

"Yeah she can… Um I got to go." Wally whispered before disappearing behind them.

"Wally." Joe called after his son.

Iris stopped her father. "I'll talk to him."

Joe stopped. His shoulders slumping in defeat as he watched the disappointment wash over his son's face.

Flashes of memories of Wally's fate in Flash point, Barry swallowed his guilt.

"Hey Joe. Umm look it's just better if he doesn't have speed."

"You don't have to convince me of that. The last thing I need is two of my kids zipping around the city into danger." Joe sighed.

"Because he looked pretty disappointed." Barry stated with a shrug.

"This is about that other timeline isn't it?" Joe asked his brows pulling together curiously.

Barry shook his head vigorously from side to side. "Nah I just think you need to keep an eye on him." He stammered, coughing to clear his throat or more like his conscious.

"I should get going anyway." he added hastily before leaving.

* * *

 _*CCPD*_

Barry stumbled through the halls of CCPD like a zombie. His mind was scattered, pondering over a million and one thoughts. His mind continuously drifting back to the way Caitlin had reacted upon seeing him and Iris together. Jesse and her new found speed, Wally… and _Iris._

"Hey!" Iris called.

Barry looked up from his feet, his eyes widening as he his best friend and _girlfriend_ barrelling towards him.

"Hey" he called back surprised.

"What are you doing here?" he asked trying it with what he hoped was a smile.

"I was trying to get some information about the man who got attacked by a lamppost last night." She responded quickly as they both jumped out of the way of some of Central City's finest and determined cops.

"Hey umm come here for a second." He whispered, dragging her off to the side.

Dropping her elbow, Barry surveyed around him before trying to find the right words. Running a hand over the back of his neck, he pulled up his face to look at Iris.

Her eyes were dark and determined.

"So last night ahh I know that date didn't shatter any records." He stammered nervously.

"I mean it wasn't that bad." She shrugged.

"It was…" Barry began.

 _How was he going to do this?_

"Okay it wasn't that great but…" she agreed light heartedly.

"It was just kinda…" Barry started again.

"Boring?" she finished for him.

Barry let out a heavy sigh and nodded. "Boring. Yeah."

"It feels like my fault. I might be boring without my powers." Barry defended.

"No Barry you are perfect without powers." She replied stepping closer to him.

Barry closed his eyes. He didn't know why this was so hard. As he opened he looked into Iris' eyes and saw the young girl he grew up with. His best friend. The person he'd do anything for and would hurt anyone who'd hurt her. Yet as he stood before her. Not only lying to her but he was about to be the one who broke her heart.

His heart heavy and the feeling of regret in his throat, Barry took a deep breath.

"Thanks. But you don't think it's a sign that we shouldn't…"

"NO!" she stopped him.

"Umm I mean I don't." she said more calmly, stepping back away from him as she recollected herself.

Barry ran a hand through his hair. _Maybe this wasn't the right time._ He reasoned with himself.

"Um okay. But I do think we should talk. As soon as possible. But with everything going on this new case, Jesse and Harry showing up it's just—"

"No, no Barry I get it. I should probably concentrate trying on making my deadlines anyways so…" she stammered over her words beginning to back away from him.

"Cool." Was all Barry could say.

"Well I'm going to work now." She waved, stumbling over footing as she turned away.

"I'll see you later." He whispered under his breath watching as she hastily tried dodging the traffic of people as she made her way out.

* * *

 ** _Caitlin's POV_**

 _*Speed Lab*_

Caitlin's brows furrowed as she concentrated on the data gathered so far on the tests they had run on Jesse. So far just by skimming over the details everything about Jesse seemed perfectly normal.

But as Harry paced up and down in front of her, she became annoyingly distracted.

"What are you doing?" she sighed as she looked up from her screen.

"Working." Harry grunted in response.

Caitlin rolled her eyes.

"Really because it looks like you're stalling." Cisco commented.

"Alright, I'm stalling. I'm stalling so what?!" Harry bellowed, throwing his arms in the air in exaggeration.

"So what? So why?" Cisco pressed.

"So why? Why? Why do I have to explain myself to you? Oh right because you guys aren't parents. THAT'S MY DAUGHTER! Okay? And she's spent months on this very earth watching Barry Allen defeat meta after meta after meta and Zoom and all of a sudden she's BAM!" Harry exclaimed by smash his hands together for visual effect.

"And suddenly she got speed and wants to be a hero just like him and I think that's a great idea. NOT!"

"Harry we can help her. We can train her just like we did with Barry." Caitlin tried to reason with him calmly.

"I don't want to train her!" Harry bit back.

Caitlin held her tongue. On a level she could see where this concern came from but with everything that was happening to her, she knew that if Jesse had the support and guidance she didn't have. She'd be just fine. More than fine she'd be amazing.

"Okay I brought her here to talk her out of it. Not talk her into it. Alright Ramon. You… you should talk to her. You're a meta." He begged, his eyes glistening with desperation.

"Yeah which makes me the last person she should talk to about not using her powers." Cisco rejected.

Harry was desperate. Rubbing his temples as he thought, he slowly turned his gaze to Caitlin.

"Snow. Caitlin." His voice pleaded.

"You and her you always had a special relationship. You talk." He said trying to sweeten his voice.

"No we don't." Caitlin shook her head.

"Yeah." He nodded trying to convince her otherwise.

She shook her head aggressively before adding "And I don't know anything about having any powers so I'm the last person she should talk to so don't ask me."

Before Harry could continue to desperately plea with her, she held up her hands defensively protecting her as she scurried away before he could convince her otherwise.

* * *

 ** _Barry's POV_**

 _*S.T.A.R Labs*_

Barry stood in the middle of the cortex facing the team.

"Her name is Frankie Kane but she's calling herself Magenta." He began to explain as Caitlin brought up the photo of Magenta onto the screens behind him as he spoke.

"Hmmm." Cisco thought hard on that nickname.

"And this Magenta is a whole different person than the scared kind girl I was interviewing." Iris added.

"She's dissociative." Harry diagnosed.

Barry nodded.

"Multiple personality." Jesse added.

"According to her medical records it's a condition she's been dealing with her entire life. I'm sure all the yelling at CCPD is what triggered it." Caitlin mused as she scanned over Magenta's file.

"So Frankie is Jekyll and Magenta is Hyde." Wally referenced.

"Classic good vs evil" Harry commented.

"Or she's pulling a primal fear." Cisco suggest with a casual shrug.

"She's faking it." Harry translated.

Barry shook his head. He saw the look in Frankie's eyes. The fear. And that internal struggle.

"No she's not faking it. I saw the struggle going on inside of her Magenta is trying to take over completely."

"You said she was raised in the foster care system?" Iris asked.

"Yep all her life. She went from home to home." Joe replied.

"Yeah and maybe not good ones." Iris stated as her eyes scanned the screen in front of her.

"Her current foster father John the one who was hurt in the attack. He's got a few disorderly conducts. We might have some information we can use if I follow up on him." Iris suggested.

"There is something else. She got her powers from Alchemy." Barry paused. His eyes scanning around at the faces in the room which had all gone silent as they stared at him.

"When I said he's name she knew who he was. Magenta must have existed in the other timeline too."

"Who's Alchemy?" Harry noted.

"Well… Dr Alchemy is a magic man in a cloak who can somehow restore the powers of that people who had them in Flashpoint."

"Okay… what's Flashpoint?" Jesse asked confused.

"That's what we're calling the alternative timeline that Barry created when he went back in time and saved his mom." Caitlin explained.

Barry's eyes fell on Caitlin as she spoke. A small smile playing at the corner of his lips. He caught her as her eyes caught his but she immediately turned away from his gaze, her cheeks flushing a subtle pink.

Barry smile grew a little but his attention was turned back with Harry's loud voice.

"Oh so Magenta is another side effect from your time trip. Genius. NOT!"

"I don't need to be reminded thank you." Barry sighed resigned.

Harry stalked up to Barry, his hands on his hips. Harry leaned closely so his next few words were only heard by him.

"We need to talk about this." He hissed.

Barry turned facing him. Their faces close. Barry's jaw tightened. God could only know what kind of lecture that he was about to be had. Without saying a word he gave a small nod.

Harry backed away, crossing his arms across his chest.

"Look anybody with those powers and as angry as her needs to be tracked down and fast." Joe stated.

"Great something at last I can do. Let me just carb load." Jesse volunteered herself.

"It—No—" Harry stammered after his daughter, bowing his head in defeat.

"Snow. Please." He pleaded with her, his eyes begging.

Barry watched their small exchange. He could see a battle waging in her eyes. Finding defeat she conceded.

"Okay." She sighed.

"Harry I can talk to her but I don't know what I'm going to say." She warned before trailing after Jesse.

* * *

 ** _Caitlin's POV_**

 ** _*_** _Pipeline*_

 _Why are you doing this? You don't even know what to say? Did she really catch Barry staring at her?_

Caitlin stopped in her tracks. _No he wasn't._ Shaking her way the thoughts Caitlin continued her way down the pipeline her stomach in knots. She couldn't think about Barry and his eyes… his lips… _NO!_ She shouted at herself. _Stop it._ She needed to focus on Jesse.

Rounding the corner into the pipeline, Caitlin saw Jesse munching down on a of a protein bar as she sat huddled over tying one of her shoes.

"Hey." Caitlin greeted with a warm smile.

"Hey sorry. You guys weren't kidding when you said speedsters were hungry all the time." She laughed as she scoffed down the last bit of Cisco's famous speedster protein bars.

Caitlin laughed nervously. She had no idea what she was going to say. Fidgeting with her fingers, Caitlin invited herself to sit by Jesse.

"Yeah listen, Jesse before you speed off to find Frankie." She paused, gathering her thoughts.

"I just wanted to make sure you feel like you're ready." She said softly.

"I am." Jesse bounced eagerly back onto her feet.

Caitlin stood up with her with a wry smile.

"Alright is there something wrong? Did the test results say something?" Jesse stopped. A Serious expression falling on her face.

Caitlin held up her hands. "No not at all. All the test results have come back fine so far."

She saw Jesse sigh in relief.

"It's just that maybe you should take it slow?" Caitlin suggested.

"Right this is because I'm a girl?" Jesse rolled her eyes offended.

"What?" Caitlin replied surprised. "No not at all why?"

"Well because Barry didn't have to take things slow. You know he was stopping criminals as soon as he got his powers. Why can't I do the same thing?" she retorted.

"Well I'—I'm sure you think that it's a great thing to have powers but sometimes it's not so great." She swallowed, her mind drifting to her own experience. "Trust me. I'm just saying that if I had powers. I would probably take it slow." She advised.

Jesse eyed Caitlin suspiciously. "My dad put you up to this didn't he?"

Caitlin opened her mouth but was too slow. Jesse didn't have to wait to hear her response. By the way she was handling this conversation she was a smart girl. She probably already knew the truth.

"You know what? Of course he did." She blew out a frustrated breath before running out on her.

"Jesse…"

But she was already gone.

 _Great._ She sighed to herself.

* * *

* _Moments later*_

Caitlin finally found herself back in the cortex and the silence welcoming. She made herself busy with trying to locate Magenta, distracting herself from the mess that is her life. Right now, she needed all the distractions she could get from Barry… her undoubtedly growing feelings for him, distractions from Harry and Jesse… Jesse and her powers and the realization that she need to deal with her own powers.

Sighing heavily, Caitlin buried herself in her work as her eyes scanned the screen in front of her and her fingers walked across the keyboard simultaneously hoping that she'd find just where Frankie would go.

Cutting through the silence, the growing yelling and arguing Caitlin pushed herself out of her desk walking over to the one across the room, trying to escape from the carnage behind her. Suddenly the arguing voices were cut off and were replaced by the grunting and heavy footsteps of a frustrated man entering the room.

Caitlin did her best to ignore Harry's heavy breathing behind her.

"What did you say to her?" he yelled.

Caitlin turned around. Her eyes coming to face Harry glaring at her.

"Me?" she pointed to herself as her eyes scanned between Harry and Cisco.

"Yeah. You!" he exclaimed.

"Don't blame me for this I tried to help." She retorted defensively.

"Help her or help me?" he argued.

"Listen. Harry!" Caitlin said bluntly.

"Maybe the reason she's shutting you out is because you're not trying to understand what she's going through."

"Im ju—"

"WAIT!" she stopped him. Holding up her hand and shutting him up.

"If you helped her _navigate_ her powers rather than assuming they'd destroy her. She'd turn _to you_ rather than push you away." She emphasised.

Caitlin shook her head. She hadn't meant to speak out so aggressively but with everything mounting up against her she felt like she was about to explode. And she had. Needing air, she paused for a moment recollecting herself.

Harry opened his mouth but no words came out. He stood there staring at her stunned.

Caitlin pushed past him, ignoring Cisco's plea for her to come back, she kept on walking.

* * *

 ** _Barry's POV_**

 _*Speed Lab*_

Still with no luck in locating Frankie, Barry and the team were at a standstill. Barry stood motionless, his arms by his side as he just stared in awe around the room. With Harry back and lecturing him about changing the timeline, being in this room, and the guilt of everything that came from changing it back haunted him. But he had to admit, this change to the timeline wasn't all that bad. If he was honest, he was geeking out a little bit by standing in the Speed lab. Definitely bets the treadmill. He laughed to himself.

Barry was startled when he heard Harry clear his throat. Making his presence known.

"Can't bring myself to do a lap around this thing." Barry commented, turning to face Harry as he entered the room.

"And why is that?"

"Well you said it everything's different here." Barry sighed.

"There's just a man creating metahumans and changing innocent people all because I changed the timeline. It's on me." Barry whispered bowing his head in defeat.

The guilt of all the consequences weighing heavy.

"Yeah well I know a thing or two about what that feels like." Harry admitted.

"You know I keep making mistakes. Mistakes that I want to make up for my mistakes and I end up making more mistakes. Next thing I have a daughter that won't even speak to me." He laughed a little to himself.

"How do we keep messing things up when all we want to do is help?"

"I don't know but you once did tell me that you got to trust in the long run that the decisions you make are the right ones." Harry said placing a firm hand on Barry's shoulder.

"Hmmpf yep." He nodded in response.

"I'm always too good at forgiving myself Allen. You were never good enough."

Barry sighed to himself. That list of forgiveness runs long. Even if the people in his life can forgive him for the mistakes he has made, he is the one that has to live with them. Live with the memories of everything his changed and screwed up. For one, his marriage. Or in this timeline the lack of it.

"While we're on the subject of mistakes…" Harry's voice brought Barry back out of his head.

"I can't remember your _wife_ ever being so fiery." Harry laughed.

"Wait you remem—"

Harry looked at him pointedly.

"Right. Other Earth other timeline." He said answering his own question.

"I guess no ring means…"

"Yup." Barry sighed.

"I erased that too." He shrugged defeated.

"I guess that was my mistake from me trying to fix my mistake."

"And?"

"And what?" Barry asked confused.

"What are you doing about it? If you and my daughter have taught me anything, is that anything is possible. Fix things Barry. Talk to her. Your Caitlin was right. I should've talked to Jesse and listened rather than pushing her away."

* * *

 ** _Caitlin's POV_**

* _S.T.A.R Labs*_

After they had rescued Frankie from herself, Jesse and Barry had brought Frankie back to S.T.A.R Labs.

"So no one else got hurt?" Frankie stammered, her eyes pleading for the truth as she looked to all the people who had helped save her.

"Luckily no. You don't have to worry about that." Caitlin reassured her with a gesture of a warm smile.

She saw the relief wash over her. The truth comforting her.

"What about John?" Caitlin heard hint of fear in her voice.

"The D.A is prosecuting him for what he did to you so I think he's going to be serving time and he's not going to be anybody's foster father again." Joe replied, his voice filled with promise.

"It's just so strange to be responsible for all of this and not have any memory of it." Frankie confessed.

Caitlin watched as Barry knelt by Frankie's side. She realized that he was trying not to present himself as an overpowering adult. She'd already had to deal with so much at her age that he didn't want to scare her. The gesture warmed her heart. She couldn't help but smile.

"What do you remember… about how you got your powers how all this began?" he pressed gently.

"Ummm… I started having dreams at night as Magenta." She recalled.

Caitlin froze. Her smile faded. _Dreams?_

"Dreams?" Wally asked.

Caitlin moved closer, just a step behind where Barry knelt. _Dreams?_ Her mind repeated.

"They were more than dreams. I don't know it was like I was living another life or something and then I started getting them all the time. During the day. The more it happened the more painful it became. Then I started hearing the voice."

Caitlin drew parallels to what Frankie was saying. Her dreams were just as vivid to her as any memory. But in her case her dreams where not nightmares. They were of a good life. She remembered feeling happy… she remembered being in love… and being loved by… her thoughts trailed off as she looked down in front of her. Barry remained by Frankie's side. A hand over hers, comforting her as she recounted the nightmares that had plagued her. She remembered being love by _Barry._

"What voice?" Barry asked.

Caitlin pushed back her thoughts. She needed to hear everything Frankie remembered. Maybe this is exactly what was happening to her. Why she had her powers.

"A man's voice named Alchemy. He said he could give me what I wanted. To make me powerful again. I didn't understand. I thought I was going crazy." She cried.

Caitlin noticed the slight change in Barry. His body growing ridged. She saw the flicker in his jaw tightening as he caught the girl's pain. Barry leaned over bring her into his embrace while she cried.

Caitlin went over to the desk in the corner, quickly grabbing the box of tissues. Returning she handed the box to Frankie who managed to mouth a thank you through heavy sobs.

"Trust me Magenta is not here because of anything you did." Barry whispered.

"There may be a darkness inside of you but if you face it, it'll make it easier for the good side of you to win." He reassured her.

"You're letting me go?" she choked, her eyes wide in disbelief.

"None of this was your fault Frankie. Caitlin found you a good home in Keystone with people that will never hurt you." He promised.

Frankie looked up to Caitlin her eyes searching hers. Caitlin knelt by Barry, reaching out her hand she gave her hand a gentle squeeze.

"We promise." She smiled.

"What if Magenta tries to come back?"

"Fight her. And if you need help we'll be there. We have faith in you Frankie." Barry said.

"Thank you. Thank you all." She cried, before yanking both Barry and Caitlin in a hug.

* * *

 ** _Barry's POV_**

Barry stood in the door way of Frankie's old foster home. Somewhere inside the run-down apartment, Joe was in there with Frankie gathering anything she may need or wanted to take with her.

His hands in his pockets, he leaned his body against the frame, waiting.

The rustling of keys behind him jolted Barry back upright. Glancing a look over his shoulder, her caught Caitlin digging in her purse for her keys.

"Hey."

Caitlin looked up at him, surprised to see him standing there. A shade of pink rushed to colour her cheeks. He smiled that he could still make her blush.

"Hey." She replied.

Flustered, he watched as she pulled out her keys and made her way towards him.

"Um, what are you doing here?" she asked as she brushed past him into the apartment, her eyes scouring the apartment for Joe and Frankie.

"And where's Frankie?"

"They're in the other room just gathering some of her stuff. They won't be too long."

"Oh. Okay." She nodded.

"Umm… I thought I'd come with you to Keystone."

"WHAT!" she exclaimed.

"I mean why?"

Barry rubbed a hand over the back of his neck. He hadn't been this nervous around her since they first started dating.

"I just wanted to make sure Frankie got settled in okay."

"Right."

"Cait—" Barry started, stepping towards her.

"Alright we're ready to go." Joe interrupted.

Barry stopped. Stepping back to where he was.

"You have everything you need?"

"Yep. Thank you again."

"Okay, Joe you ready?" Caitlin asked.

"Yeah about that. I think you two have it from here right?"

"I—I—" Caitlin stammered.

"Yeah it's cool Joe." Barry interjected before Caitlin could complain.

"Right. Let's go." Caitlin grunted.

* * *

* _Keystone*_

Leaning against the side of Caitlin's car, both of them watched as Frankie went away with some of Caitlin's friends.

They waited even after Frankie had waved back and disappeared into the house, leaving Caitlin and him alone. The night had grew dark pretty fast and the cold of the night had settled in around them. The street was quiet. It was a nice neighbourhood. The houses seemingly normal and almost identical. Frankie would be okay. He thought to himself. Daring a glance beside him, he saw as Caitlin shivered, drawing her arms around herself. Barry pushed himself off the car, turning to face her.

"You're cold." He noted.

"I'm fine." She said through chattering teeth.

Barry laughed. Shrugging out of his coat he didn't wait for her objections before wrapping his coat around her.

"Thank you." She smiled up at him.

Barry looked into her eyes. Those familiar soft brown eyes he once called home. The way she looked at him had never changed. The way she seemed to bore straight through to his soul. He wasn't sure how long they just stood there looking at each other. It's like the air around them electrified. He had to resist every urge to kiss her. But the way her eyes were searching hers, it's as if she were thinking the exact same thing he was. Stepping closer, he could almost feel the warmth of her breath on his skin. As he closed the distance, she didn't flinch. Her eyes remained locked with his. Her breathing growing rapid. Time slowed. Before he knew what he was doing he began to lean down. His lips slightly grazing hers before she turned away.

"Barry we can't. Iris…" she whispered.

Barry stopped. _Shit._ Barry pulled away. She was right. He couldn't do this to them. He couldn't do this to Iris.

"I'm sorry." He said stepping back.

"It's okay. Nothing happened." She replied unable to look at him.

"We should go."

Barry nodded. "Yeah. I'll drive back."

Caitlin didn't argue. Instead she roughly handed the keys to him and jumped straight into the car.

Barry took a moment for himself before rounding to the other side. Inserting the keys into the ignition, the car roared to life, the engine humming quietly as they began the _long_ ride back to Central City.

* * *

* _Later that night*_

After dropping Caitlin to her apartment, neither of the one spoke the whole way back. As soon as they arrived, she had hastily gathered her things and left him standing in front of her apartment building alone. If he thought he was fast, the way she had run away from him made him reconsider.

Peering down to the watch on his wrist, Barry drew a heavy breath. If he didn't get going he was going to be late. His jaw tightening, Barry snuck one last look towards her apartment floor, watching as her lights switched off. Exhaling, Barry closed his eyes before racing through the city in the direction of CCPN.

"Hey." Barry called as he walked up to Iris.

"You just made it." she smiled reaching up and placing a kiss on his cheek.

"I just had to make sure Frankie was okay." Barry said.

"So you ready to try this again?" she asked happily.

Barry felt his body stiffen. It felt as if a rock had sunk into the pit of his stomach. He felt so sick.

"Actually umm I had a thought about why our last date was so boring." Barry began.

"Oh yeah."

"Yeah."

It was now or never. That moment with Caitlin in Keystone was a wakeup call. He couldn't put this off any longer. It wasn't fair to Iris or to himself. As much as thought pained him to have to do this he knew it was for the best. As selfish as that sounded to him. In this moment, he hated himself.

"Let's take a walk." He prompted holding open the door and leading her out onto the streets.

"I know that you think that I shouldn't use my powers and it's not that I'm nothing without them but they're a part of me now. And they're a part of our lives. And over the past couple of days I realized that last night you were trying to get us back to the people we were before I changed the timeline and before I was the Flash and that's one of the reasons why it wasn't working."

"Okay so what are you trying to say." She stammered confused.

"We're not those people anymore. And I don't want to deceive you. We got to stop denying who we are. And me… now with or without my powers is who I am. As much as you want and I wish for you I could. I just can't go back. Not again. I'm not sure where we go from here but I don't think I can do it by your side. You deserve someone who can sweep you off your feet and make the world stop and start. As you best friend I love you and always will but I'm just not that guy. I'm sorry."

"Barry… I…"

Long pause. She stops turning her back to him.

"Iris…" he pleaded chasing after her.

Iris stopped long enough for Barry to reach her.

"Really it's not you its me? Really Barry?!" her voice rang out.

"Iris… it's true. I'm not the same person before I changed everything. I wish I could explain but… I'm sorry and I hate that I'm hurting you."

"I feel so stupid."

"Don't. This. This is all my fault."

Iris laughed to herself. "The funny thing is I saw this coming. Honestly Barry it hurts. It hurts a lot because I do love you. But ever since you got back from the Flashpoint you've changed. I've noticed you growing more distant. I don't know what to say. I don't know how to feel right now."

"I'm sorry."

"That's not helping." She yelled in frustration.

"I know I've screwed everything up. I know I've changed and I hate myself for being the one who's hurting you. You're the last person on this Earth I want to see in pain."

"Then why are you doing this?" she pressed, her eyes red rimmed.

"Things are just different. I don't want to hurt you Iris."

"Yet here we are." She said her voice laced with sarcasm.

"Does this have to do with that other timeline, doesn't it?" she noted, her voice sharp and curt.

"If you want to know the truth, I'll tell you but yes it does." He replied honestly.

Iris ran a hand through her hair. He knew she was hurting and all he wanted to do is bring her into his arms and make it better but he restrained himself. He knew it would push her further away from him.

"I- I have to go." She stuttered her feet beginning to stride away from him.

"Iris." He reached out grabbing her hand.

"Please Barry just let me go." Her voice trembled but she didn't turn around to face him.

Barry clenched his jaw. Swallowing hard, the weight of his guilt was hitting him hard. He reluctantly let go of her hand.

"I'm sorry." He whispered.

Iris didn't take a second glance back toward him as he watched her walk away from him.


	4. 3 Episode 4 Next

**_Barry's POV_**

 _*S.T.A.R Labs*_

It was all business when Barry made his way over to S.T.A.R Labs. Over the course of the night, Clariss had been killed while in Iron Heights prison. Joe on the case, had managed to bring a copy of the security footage in hopes that the team were able to help solve just what had killed him.

Everyone had gathered around the main desk in the cortex. All huddled around a single monitor. Even though it would have been more proactive if they had just synchronised the footage to the other screens in the room, Barry was happy the thought hadn't crossed anyone else's mind. Barry leaned closer, his body almost pressing against Caitlin who stood in front of him slightly to his right. They were so close he could feel the warmth of her body radiating into his own. Being so close to her, he had to muster all his restraint not to pull her into his arms and press his lips against her. How he missed her. If only she could remember what she meant to him. If only he didn't mess things up her would have his family completed. The memory stung at him. He closed his eyes for a brief moment only to open them to the video image of Clariss being thrown around his cell like a puppet.

"This is from a security camera inside Iron Heights?" Caitlin asked for confirmation.

"Forensic analysis indicates that the footage is genuine. No evidence of tampering." Barry voiced, his lips lingering near her ear.

Startled by his close proximity, Caitlin straightened herself up, stepping away from him, a slight shade of pink colouring her soft cheeks. Barry watched as she pushed a strand of hair behind her ear, trying everything to avoid his gaze. He smiled as she nervously bit down on her lower lip. _Some things never change._ He mused to himself.

"We're pretty sure this is Dr Alchemy that did this." Joe added.

"Last thing Clariss said before he died."

"Unless someone killed him?" Caitlin posed rhetorically.

"Like a meta with telekinesis or cloaking abilities. We have both on our Earth." Harry interjected.

"So what do we do now?"

"Our metahuman specialist at CCPD, Julian Albert who he prefers to work alone but I got feelers out on his investigation. I'm going to go there now and see if he dug up anything." Joe informed them as he multi-tasked scanning through his emails with his phone in hand.

"Alright." Barry nodded. Rolling his eyes at the thought of Julian.

"Okay until then do you guys wanna train?" Jesse bounced enthusiastically.

Barry grinned at her childlike enthusiasm.

"Oh no we have to think about heading back to our Earth. We've been here long enough." Her father opposed.

"I've _still_ got a lot to learn. Your words not mine." She fired back a matter of factly.

Harry looked at his daughter with a fierce gaze but sighed in defeat.

"I—hmpf. Fine."

"You want to train? Let's train." Cisco said with a childish grin spreading across his face.

"Speedster style." He added.

* * *

 ** _Caitlin's POV_**

After an hour of monitoring Jesse's vital and speed, was safe to say she was almost as fast as Barry. The girl could really move. As Caitlin watched as both speedsters slowed to a stop from her monitors she knew that they were head back to the cortex. Caitlin became flustered at the thought of being in the same room as Barry again. After this morning, she cursed herself for allowing him to get so close to her. She needed the space to think. Every night she was still plagued with fragments of dreams of her and Barry. They had a life together. It was strange. As much as she tried to ignore the growing feeling she had for him, the pull towards him was undeniably strong. It scared her. But she needed to remember that he was with Iris.

With the sound of chatter growing closer, Caitlin tried focusing herself with anything on the monitor in front of her to seem busy. Jesse and Barry strolled in, Barry's laugh sending an automatic smile to her face. _She loved that sound._

"Maybe we should stay a little bit longer." Harry said defeated.

"Yeah I guess so." Jesse smiled before flickering a wink at Wally.

"It's going to take some time to master your powers Jesse. You'll get the hang of it." Barry encouraged.

"Yeah I know. Thanks."

"Well since I'll be here for a while do you wanna… um get out of here?" She proposed as she quickly flashed out of her suit and back.

"Where to?"

"Does it matter?" she shrugged.

Before Harry had anything to say about it both kids were speeding away out of ear shot.

"No TOUCHING!" his voice echoed after them.

Caitlin laughed.

"NOT WHAT I MEANT BY STAYING LONGER!" he voiced grumpily.

"Hey Harry?" Caitlin asked.

"Yeah." He answered without looking up at her.

"You sure you have to leave?"

"There's still just a lot to fix back on my Earth." He huffed out.

"Yeah but you know it's more fun when you're here helping us fix things here on our Earth." Cisco added with a cheeky grin.

"He is right. It hasn't been the same without you." Barry said.

"The team doesn't feel complete without Harrison Wells." Caitlin concurred.

"Then change that. There's a whole multiverse of Harrison Wells out there at your fingertips. You want one? Let's go get one."

* * *

 ** _Barry's POV_**

 _*West Household*_

While the team were off dividing and conquering, something pressing had been nagging at Barry ever since he returned the timeline back to normal... _somewhat normal._ Barry sighed at that thought. Why did he have to totally screw up everything?

Thudding through the empty house, Barry raced up the same old wooden staircase, down the familiar musty hallway down to his room since his childhood years. His hand reaching to the handle, Barry pushed the door open with a creak. The light from the window set the room a glow with a warm light. Dust flakes danced in the light. Barry shuffled over to his bed side table. Sliding the drawer open, the drawer revealed a mess of odd items. Digging around through the mess, his fingers curled around a soft velvet box. Withdrawing it from its hiding place Barry open the box. His mother's ring glistening in the light.

A cream down stairs, Barry snapped the box shut and moved closer to the strange sounds. As he climbed back down, to Barry's surprise he caught sight of Iris.

"Oh you're home?" Barry stammered, cautiously hiding the box into his inside coat pocket.

"I didn't realise you'd be home." she whispered under her breath as she closed the front door behind her.

"Ahh um yeah. I just had to check on something. I didn't realize you'd be coming home."

"Cool. Well…" she began to retreat.

"Iris can we talk?"

Iris exhaled loudly. "There's nothing to talk about Barry. We we're together. Now we're not. We are where we are. There's nothing to talk about."

"Okay but—" Barry opened his mouth.

Before he could apologise vigorously or even begin to tell her the truth Joe appeared, opening back up the front door.

"Hey dad." Iris smiles welcoming the interruption.

"I didn't think you'd be home for a while." Barry said

"My plans changed. Um I—yeah you guys alright?" He asked eyeing his children suspiciously.

Barry opened up his mouth to explain the truth but Iris replied before he had a chance "Yeah." She lied, mustering up a small smile.

"Um come have a beer. I was about to grab some for us." Barry said as he cleared out this throat.

"No. I'm just going to head upstairs."

Barry nodded, and both he and iris waited impatiently as their father disappeared out of earshot.

"Iris I know your mad at me. I want to fix this. I want to explain. I need to explain. Please let me. I miss my best friend."

"Please stop." She pleaded with him.

"Right now I just hurt. And the thing about it is I can't really blame you. I saw the signs over the past few weeks. I felt you pull away. I saw- never mind. I just need time. Please just give me time."

"Okay." Was all he could say.

Barry could see her frustration and pain. He didn't want to add anymore discomfort than he already had. He owed her at least this much. He need to respect that she needed time and space so he nodded and he left.

* * *

 _*CCPD*_

Barry felt like a ghost drifting through the bustling corridors of the police department. After bumping into Iris, he could still see the pain in her eyes. As much as she tried to hide it from him, it pained him that he had hurt her so badly. They had all this history together. She was his best friend. To her he was the love her life. She had all these other memories he never experience. _Fuck._ He swore to himself. He had screwed things up so badly. Not only had he had to repair his relationship with his best friend he also had to rebuild his marriage with Caitlin, that in this timeline had never existed.

His eyes on the ground, Barry weaved through the magnitude of people swarming the CCPD, only stopping when he lifted his head with Joe walking towards him.

"So Scutter is going after everyone on Snart's old crew to track him down." he whispered as they pulled away to a quiet corner.

Barry shook himself out his mind, focusing on their latest problem. Scutter.

"Yeah but the only problem is Scutter is not going to find him. Snart's gone." Barry noted.

"What do you mean his gone?" Joe eyed Barry confused.

"He's gone." Barry replied.

Joe shook his head confused. He had no idea what Barry was saying. Barry released a heavy breath. Of course, he probably didn't know in this timeline.

"Thought I – Oliver told me that Snart left with some friends of our so a… _trip._ " He emphasised the last word.

"I don't even want to know. One of Snart's old crew is in Iron Heights. I'm going to go see if I can talk to her." Joe added.

"Okay. I'm going to see if I can lure any of the others back to S.T.A.R Labs." Barry sighed heavily.

It was if this day was getting even more worse than when it had started. The stress of everything that had changed was suddenly taking a toll on him. The weight of the consequences seemed to keep dragging him underwater. Every time he thought he had reached the surface for air, something small would just drag him back down under. And as hard as it was for him to admit it. He was struggling bad to breathe. What made it worse was that, if he ever felt this deep he knew he always had someone by his side pulling him back to the surface. Someone who made him stay grounded. And as much restraint as he could muster, he fought every fibre in his body not to run into her arms right this second. It broke him. He needed her. He needed Caitlin.

Sensing his uneasiness, Joe placed a calm firm grip on his shoulder. "You okay son?"

"Um hey actually sorry I just need to talk you." he choked out.

"Something real quick." he promised.

"What's going on Bar? I've noticed you're a bit more tense. Like there's a lot more running through that mind of yours."

Barry looked into his adoptive father's searching eyes. His warm dark eyes, making him feel safe and understood, just as he had always since he was a child.

"I don't even know where to begin." Barry whispered. His breathing heavy and his chest tight.

Joe stood silent. Just listening.

"I've messed things up so bad. And everything I try to do to fix it just seems to be making things worse. I've hurt so much people Joe. And I can't take it back. I can-"

"Bar, where is this all coming from? Is this because of Flashpoint?"

"Yes but I can't-"

"Breathe Barry. Breathe. Look, I've noticed that things have changed since you got back from this other timeline. And things might not have been exactly as you had left it. But you can't change that now and you know it. But Barry, look at me."

Barry sighed, slowly pulling up his eyes to meet his fathers.

"You can't change what has already been done. That's set. But how you go from here. How you handle these changes, that you can change. That my boy is in you're control."

"I don't even know where to begin."

"How about that tension between you and Iris last night."

"About that..."

"You broke up?"

"How'd you-"

"I'm a detective Barry and your father. Look. It was none of my business but we are family. I don't know what happened between you two but family is the most important thing here. So if you're looking for a place to start. Start there."

Barry nodded. Joe always seemed to place things in perspective. He didn't know how he did but the way his voice eased away any doubt amazed him.

"Thanks Joe."

"You're welcome my boy."

* * *

 ** _Caitlin's POV_**

 _*The Cortex*_

"Good looking guy." Caitlin commented.

All three boys turned to look at her. Caitlin darted between her team, her eyes falling on Barry. His eyes melted into her, a wave of jealously emanating from his gaze. The thought of him jealous sent waves up her spine, a giddiness causing her to smile. Immediately shaking away such thoughts. _Cause that would be ridiculous_. He couldn't be jealous, Caitlin turned away from his gaze, blushing slightly as she tried to refocus on the screen in front of them.

"For a criminal." She shrugged.

From the corner of her eye, she could feel Barry's eyes still fixated on her. It un-nerved her how his gaze made her blood warm, her stomach knot and how every fibre in her body made her want to reach out and touch him.

"Well he's more than just a criminal now. Apparently he's a meta than can travel through mirrors."

"Oh wait oh… I got this one. He's a—" Cisco snapped.

"Mirror Master."

"What th—"

"Boom!" Harry smirked, dropping his hand with an invisible mic.

Cisco stood there with his mouth open. Horror stapled on his face. Caitlin hid her face away trying not to laugh.

"That's good." Barry nodded.

"Thank you. We had a Mirror Master back on our Earth."

"A meta?" Caitlin asked, throwing her hands onto her hips.

"He wasn't a meta he had mirror gun that he used."

"How'd it work?" Barry interjected.

"Must've had dimensional warping tech that could change everything into two dimensions." Harry demonstrated with his hands.

"Well Scutter is hell bent on going after Snart and is gunning after everyone who's worked with him in the past. Joe's with one of them right now." Barry noted.

"Well Snart's all known associates are presumed dead or gone a-wall except for one."

"That's her."

"Rosaline Dylan."

"Says she has the ability to induce crippling vertigo."

"Oh I—Like a top. She's a top. That's it that's her name. What do you want to go?!" Cisco rambled defensively angling himself towards Harry.

Harry smiled, throwing his hands up. "No I'm good." he chuckled.

"O-kay! Do you think she can lead us to Scutter?" Caitlin added, turning to face the team.

"Let's see if Joe can get any answers out of her." Harry proposed, motioning towards Cisco to follow him.

Cisco shook his head confused, as Wells more aggressively motioned him to follow.

Cisco threw his hands in the air defeated. "Okay. Okay." Then stood and followed him out.

Caitlin suddenly felt nervous. Before she turned away, she saw Harry mouth something silently to Barry. She didn't quite catch what he said before she that she was alone with him.

The sudden temperature in the room seemed to heat. Every time she found herself left alone with him, her body seemed to react in a way which drew herself to him. It all her restraint not to lose herself in that pull.

"Hey." He whispered awkwardly shifting his weight between his feet, his hand rubbing the back of his neck.

"Hey." she replied.

"So how's the search for a new Wells going?" he conversed.

"We're still waiting. We've sent out a cryptic message so if anyone of them could decode it we have prospects." she explained fumbling with her hands.

"Cait-"

Her breath hitched when he breathed her name. It had been a while since she had let anyone call her that.

"About the other night when we dropped off-"

"Oh don't worry about that. I- Nothing happened." she stuttered turning away trying to hide her embarrassment.

Caitlin heard as Barry stepped forward, closing the small distance between them. He was so close now that she could feel the heat of his body behind her. Closing her eyes, she tried to concentrate on her breathing. _In and out._ She repeated to herself. A shiver coursed through her body when his hand fell onto her shoulder. His touch awakening every cell in her body drawing her to him.

"Cait" he repeated his voice soft and inviting.

His voice pulling her, Caitlin turned around to face him, her eyes slowly lifting, looking up with his set upon hers already.

"Barry..." she finally spoke.

"I—" before she could finish flashes of memories flooded to the back of her eyes. Memories of his mouth on hers. The taste of his lips. The feeling of his skin beneath her fingers. Her heart began to race. The memories blinding her.

"I— I got to go!" She stammered pushing up against his chest and rushing out past him.

Her heart beating fast. Caitlin ignored his pleas to stay. She knew she had out of there before she could make a huge mistake.

* * *

 _*Moments Later*_

Caitlin rushed into the speed lab. Her legs propelling her faster than she could move.

"What happened?" She shouted as she joined the rest of the team down there.

"I don't know? I don't know okay. I went after Dylan and lost balance." Jesse explained her expression defeated.

Caitlin rounded to the front of what everyone was staring at. Barry stood frustrated before her. She stared into the mirrored reflection but instead she didn't see herself but Barry staring back at her.

"She's a meta human who induces vertigo. She just whammied you." Harry empathised.

"Yeah I guess so. But I guess it doesn't matter does it because now Barry's trapped in there because of me." She cried guiltily.

"Well you know, i—" Harry began to say before, Jesse blew past them angry with herself.

Harry shut his mouth. Caitlin noticed as his jaw tightened as he hesitated for a brief moment unsure whether to follow. Just as his mind was resolved to talk to his daughter, Wally stepped forward stopping him.

"I'll go talk to her." He smiled before jogging out following Jesse.

"jshkshf?" Barry's voice echoed in the now silent room.

Everyone's attention turned back to his mirrored reflection.

"ksnksg" Barry repeated.

"What is he saying?" Joe asked.

"Is that some sort of mirror language?" Iris pointed out.

"Mirrors, show objects in reverse so maybe that's what we're hearing here?" Caitlin explained. Her eyes transfixed on Barry.

"So I know how we find out." Cisco smiled, reaching around the tool desk fumbling for something inside.

"What are you looking for Cisco?" Iris asked peering over his shoulder.

"Have you ever seen Twin Peaks? Of course not. Why do I ask? This is an old back masking trick they used for man from another place where they recorded his audio backwards and play it back forwards." He explained pulling out a small high tech device.

"Like the Ozzy Osbourne records." Joe pointed out.

"Sure let's go with that." Cisco shrugged tiredly.

"Okay Barry say something."

Jibberish again.

"Oops." Cisco chuckled, stepping foreword to re-calibrate the device.

"Say it again." Harry instructed.

"Oh m- get me out of here." Barry huffed out exasperated.

Everyone cheered. A small victory in a long battle of how do we get him out of there.

"Now we can understand you. How do we get him out of there?" Joe asked his eyes falling on the all the geniuses in the room.

"Barry have you tried to phase out yet?" Caitlin questioned.

"Yes. It's not working." He sulked.

"Scutter uses mirrors as a wormhole then these molecules are in a hyper state of flux so all we need is—"

"Something really cold to slow them down." Harry finished.

Caitlin watched as both Harry and Cisco mentally connected. Their minds syncing with possible ideas.

"I can help with that. Let's go." Cisco said as he ushered Harry out of the room towards his workshop.

As the boys scurried out of the room, Joe fumbled with his phone. After another message rang through his cell phone he excused himself out.

"Keep him company." He pointed towards his daughter and Caitlin.

Iris shifted uneasy apologising to Caitlin that she couldn't stay and left.

Bewildered Caitlin opened her mouth in protest but Iris left quicker than she could have formed the words.

Sighing, Caitlin turned back to Barry who seemed unaware that they were now alone.

* * *

 ** _Barry's POV_**

Surrounded by darkness, the absence of light made him so cold and isolated. The silence seemed to echo in constants around him. The silence only amplified by the lack of voices in the room. Trying to peer out, he noticed that the room was almost empty. Only the sight of Caitlin, her eyes furrowed deep in concentration at the screen in front of her. He smiled at the way a piece of hair fell from behind her ear, the urge to brush it back in place overwhelmed him. How he longed to brush his thumb across her cheek. Holding her in his arms. Those thoughts that plagued him frustrated him more than not being able to get out of that damn mirror.

Taking a deep breath, he spoke.

"What are you doing?"

Caitlin peered up at him almost startled.

"Oh hey, sorry. Just trying to help Harry and Cisco. Working on the equations and what not."

"Right." he sighed.

Bending down to his knees, Barry looked around at the cascading darkness he was surrounded by. Its as if he was in a deep endless hole and just the shadow of a screen in front of the only way out. It was if he was looking at a movie projection of his real life that he just couldn't get back to. As he looked out to the screen, Caitlin approached cautiously. He noticed the way she fidgeted with her hands and kept avoiding his eyes.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

"Yeah." she lied.

"Sorry I should be asking you that. What's it like in there?"

"Dark." he sighed.

"It's frustrating. You know that feeling of helplessness. Feeling stuck."

"More than you know." she whispered under her breath.

"Hmm?" he replied unable to hear her.

"Oh don't worry. We'll get you out of there." she smiled in return.

The silence between them grew intense. Barry wanted to say so many things but how could he say what he wanted to say without scaring her away. Only he knew of the life he had with her. The life he still wanted with her. He needed to start somewhere if he was going to try and win her back.

"Hey now that we're somewhat alone, can we talk?"

"Sure about what?" she asked nervously.

"About the other night."

"Barry." she stopped him.

"Wait. Please. I just need to... I mean with us..."

"Woah. There is no us!" she protested, the colour of red rushing to her cheeks.

"Maybe I'm misleading when I say 'with us'. Look I've just been feeling nervous about this new dynamic with us."

"New dynamic. I didn't realize things have changed." she fiddled anxiously with her fingers as she bit down on to her bottom lip.

"Cait look at me."

Barry waited until she pulled her eyes to his. He caught his breath as her eyes pierced his. Her familiar eyes searching his.

"Cait." he whispered her name softly.

"You can't tell me that you don't feel something. Especially after the other night?"

"The other night didn't happen." she denied.

"I know I'm messing all this up but Cait what I'm trying to say-" he rambled, everything he wanted to say building up inside him. All he wanted to do was kiss her and let her know just how much she loved her. But it was all coming out wrong.

Before he could finish, Cisco and Harry came barreling back into the room. Barry threw his hands in his hair frustrated.

"What is that?" Caitlin pointed as the boys carried in some heavy duty machine.

"This is how we get him from in there to here." Cisco explained in a huff as they set the machine up.

With his jaw tightened, Barry stared at Caitlin. Noticing the curious frow of her eyebrows as she concentrated at what the boys around her were doing while nibbling on her bottom lip as she distracted herself from the conversations they couldn't finish.

"Okay." Harry breathed out heavily as he dusted off his hands.

"Try it now." He added nodding towards Cisco.

Stepping back Cisco tinkered with a few last things before switching on a button.

Barry steadied himself waiting. Suddenly the temperature around him began to cool. It was working. He smiled thankfully. Looking at the screen that separated him from reality. He noticed as it began to frost over. Edging its way up from the bottom right hand corner upwards to the middle. Hopefully. Barry waited for the moment to phase through. When suddenly nothing more happened.

"It's only negative 280 farenheight."

 _What does that mean?_ Barry thought to himself.

"We got to get it colder some how" Harry concluded as he snatched the tablet from Cisco trying to re-calibrate the settings and formulas.

"I thought you said this thing could get him out of there?" Caitlin stressed concerned.

"Okay this thing is a highly advanced molecular decelerator that is bring powered by a cryo engine which we only improvised in the last 30mins so give us some slack please." Cisco said defensively.

"Just keep trying Barry." Caitlin encouraged.

Barry nodded. He words soothing him. When he got out he didn't care what the consequences were but he just need to hold her. To feel her touch on his skin reminding him that he was back in the world of more than one dimension.

As he worked on phasing out, everyone in the room paused at the siren blaring.

Metahuman alert.

"If its not one thing its another." Harry huffed out with a heavy sigh.

"Sorry." He mouthed as he passed by Barry.

"Hang in there Barry." Cisco relayed sympathetically as he followed Harry out of the room.

"Sorry." Caitlin added as she scurried hastily after the boys leaving Barry by himself.

Stuck, Barry edged his way closer to the portal in front of him. The room was empty.

* * *

 _ **Caitlin's POV**_

Caitlin couldn't have moved faster enough to get out of there. She was scared of what Barry had left to say. More or less hoped for an answer she didn't know she longed for. That he loved her. All those stolen moments that seemed to have transpired between them have awaken something dormant in her that she didn't know had ever been there. Or that she thought she had long ago buried.

"Guys? Hello?" his voice echoed out pleading.

Caitlin stopped in her tracks. She didn't know what it was about it in his voice that pulled her to him, but before she knew what she was doing, she had quietly made her way over to the computers silencing the alarm and simultaneously shut off the security cameras also. Subtly making her way to the where Barry was held prisoner, Caitlin checked over her shoulders ensuring that there was no one else in the room.

Her heart beating hard against her chest, Caitlin too a deep breath opening her palms allowing the cold to run a course through her body, extending to her fingers releasing a stream of coldness.

From the corner of her eye, she watched as the temperature began to decline. As the number continued to drop, she curled her fingers into the palm of her hands. Needing to make her escape before Barry got out, Caitlin hastily made her exit, her feet moving fast down halfway down the corridor. Just as she made enough distance, she slowed her pace trying to regain her breath.

A slight breeze behind her and the whisper of her name she came to a halt.

"Cait."

 _Shit._

Spinning around fast on her heel, Caitlin opened her mouth to explain, but before she could form the words, Barry had closed the distance between them, claiming her mouth with his.

Caught off guard, Caitlin was temporarily paralyzed and yet before her mind had time to process what was happening, her body took control, her lips melting into his, her body pushing back into him. His lips were hard and desperate.

Pulling away breathless. He stepped back, giving her space.

"I'm sorry. I- You needed to know."

"I- Barry- we should go." she choked before scurrying away.

Barry nodded. And sped out before her.

"Barry! How?" The shouted as Barry entered the room.

With all the chaos and bewilderment, Caitlin managed to slip in beside them. Unaware to the team around her that she was actually missing.

"Let's figure it out later. Right now we got to stop Scutter and Dylan." Barry replied.

"Okay so what do we do?"

"We're going to need mirrors, a trick and an old friend." he smiled.

* * *

* _Late into the night*_

Before Barry could make it back to S.T.A.R Labs, Caitlin made it a point to make herself scarce and not be there when he got back. She couldn't face the reality of just what had happened. As she unlocked the door to her apartment and made her way inside, she moved her way through her darkened and familiar halls towards her bedroom. She lifted her fingers to her lips, still able to feel the lingering sensation of his on hers. The thought shook in the best possible way. Yet, the thought of the feelings she felt scared her on just how strongly the seemed to pull her to him. Shaking herself awake, she opened up the shower, turning the facet on hot. Stripping down, she jumped into the shower letting the steam and heat of the beating water calm her.

Closing her eyes she just allows the water to drown away everything plaguing her. Just as she begins to calm, the water stops and the air around her evaporated into a cool chill. As she opened her eyes, she gasped out her breathe forming in pale clouds as the water spiked out at her in a frozen spray. Frightened, she backed out of the shower wrapping a towel around he body. _What's happening to me?_


	5. 3 Episode 5 Monsters

**_Hey guys! I'm back with a new chapter. I know it's taken me ages but life you know. Hope you enjoy as always. I do promise I will finish this season._**

 ** _Thanks for hanging in there._**

 ** _Disclaimer: I do not own the Flash nor its characters._**

* * *

 ** _Barry's POV_**

Barry woke up even before the sun had risen over the city that he loved. Stretching out on the couch, Barry drew out a long yawn. Sleeping on the couch wasn't the most comfortable sleep he had, but then again he hadn't a good night sleep in a while. He couldn't sleep well without Caitlin by his side. Sighing, Barry restlessly threw his legs over the side of the couch. Unable to fall back to sleep, he decided to make himself useful and make Cisco breakfast to show his gratitude.

A little past seven, Barry heard the floorboards creak under the weight of his best friend finally waking up.

"Yo!" Barry greeted happily.

"You don't have to do this every morning right?" Cisco yawned as he stumbled out of his bedroom and into the small apartment kitchen.

"Oh, come on, it's the least I can do. I mean, I love Joe but at some point a man needs his own space, and until I find my own space, that means your space." He shrugged apologetically as he waited for the toast to be rightly golden.

"So as a token of my appreciation, two eggs over easy, bacon, toast...I can't remember, do you like it buttered or not?" Barry continued to ramble as he set the food on the table.

"Barry!" Cisco shouted, startling Barry to a halt.

"Sometimes a man just wants to butter his own bread." He said more softly, taking the pieces of toast out of his best friends hands.

"Okay. Sorry I was just… Yeah, no, you're right, I..."

"Look, don't get it twisted, okay? I love having you here. You're a great guest. I'm not sure how I feel about our other visitor, though."

"Wells?"

"Please, call me H.R." he mimicked.

"So you don't like him?"

"Oh, it's not so much that I don't like him. I just... the way he says things, there's something about him. I don't know what it is."

"Dude, he's only been here a few days; let him settle in. I know we've had our Wells issues in the past, but you can't just stop trusting everybody or giving them chances. You know? You can't live like that."

"This is true. Wise words from a wise man."

"Joe knowledge."

"I am going to take this to go."

"Okay."

"Alright. Uh, I'll see you there."

"Yeah. Oh, I can take you."

"No. No. I think I'll going to drive myself today."

"Okay cool. Cool." He replied slouching back into his chair trying to not look bothered about it.

* * *

 ** _Caitlin's POV_**

Caitlin stood looking up at the endless glass and steel that rocketed to the roof. The lobby of the all too familiar building she seemed to spend most of her childhood in swallowed her whole. The chill stiff air caused her to shiver. Taking a deep breath, Caitlin moved towards the front desk, where three beautiful assistants, robotically answer and held calls.

As she approached and stopped just as one of the three receptionists glance briefly in her direction before looking back down at her screen.

"Can I help you?" she said un-amused.

"I'm here to see Dr. Tannhauser." Caitlin responded politely.

"Do you have an appointment?"

"No, but I'm pretty sure she'll see me. You can just tell her Caitlin Snow is here."

"Dr. Tannhauser's a very busy woman. I'm sure you can understand." She sneered unapologetically.

As Caitlin opened her mouth to protest, a firm voice echoed down from above cutting through the still air.

"I appreciate the diligence, Jackie, but Caitlin's always welcome here, even if I wish she'd call first."

Caitlin turned up to see her mother standing high above them, her body ridged and straight looking down at her.

"Nice to see you too." Caitlin paused.

" _Mom_."

* * *

* _Minutes later*_

Caitlin followed a stunned Jackie, up towards her mother's rooftop office. Upon opening the door, Caitlin allowed herself in, Jackie diligently closing the door leaving Caitlin and her mother alone.

"So what brings you here? I didn't forget your birthday, did I? I'm pretty sure I sent a card." Her mother mouthed as her full attention was to whatever she was working on in front of her.

"You did in April." Caitlin whispered heavily under her breath as she rolled her eyes.

Stepping forward, Caitlin edged closer in front of her mother. She hated that she was her now desperate for her mother's help.

"Look, I read your new paper on applications in cryo-medicine, and I think you might be able to help." She began, fidgeting with her hands.

"I had no idea you kept up on the literature over at S.T.A.R. Labs. That's still what it's called, right?"

"Yes, and I have a patient who could use your help."

"Well, if you want to send over the file, I'll be happy to take a look when I have a chance, but right now, I have a shareholder meeting - to prepare for and – "

"Mom!" Caitlin shouted sternly as she slammed her hand across her mother's glass desk.

"I'M. THE. PATIENT." Under the touch of her hand the desk before start to cascade over with ice.

Her mother jumped back startled. With a collected voice, she reached over to her desk phone pressing a button. "Cancel my appointments, and have Nigel meet me in the bio-lab."

"We have work to do." She said flatly as she finally peered up at her daughter for the first time.

* * *

 ** _Barry's POV_**

"Sumptuous day!" Wells greeted as he unveiled a buffet of an array of breakfast delights set about across the cortex's main desk.

"Oh, no, on this Earth, I believe you say –" he began to correct only to pause momentarily as he thought of the phrase.

"Good morning." Cisco aided.

"Good morning. And it is, isn't it? I mean the music on your Earth, well; it strikes a chord, no pun intended." H.R chuckled.

"Please, help yourself. I find a crew works best when it's well-fed and well-rested." He gestured to the food looking deliciously welcoming to Barry's stomach.

"Are those coffees for us too?"

"Yes indeed, Miss West. I took the liberty of reading through your ledgers last night. A lot of information to absorb, but let's see how I did. Skim milk chai latte." He said as he offered Iris a large sized coffee.

"Okay." She nodded impressed.

"Okay." He smiled as he continued handing out the rest of the teams orders.

"And an iced Americano with two no, - three shots of espresso."

"Boom." Wally accepted his iced coffee greedily.

"That happened, Walter."

"It's Wally."

"Wally. Now, for my fleet-of-foot friend oh, you'd best stick to decaf."

Barry laughed as H.R handed him his own cup. "Probably for the best, yeah."

"San Francisco." He emphasised with a loving look towards Cisco.

"I have â preparé a French roast with a touch of creamer."

"Thank you so much."

"You're welcome." He bowed.

"Did you know, on my Earth, coffee crop was wiped out by blight? I mean, that's one more reason to stay on this Earth, for the coffee alone."

"Yeah, though that's if you stay."

"If I stay. Time is of the essence. Here's what I propose, a series of team-building exercises. Now, I've hidden a series of clues all around the facility. What I propose is, we break into two groups, all right, and you can pick a partner; you're—"

"Okay, okay.[laughs] I have to stop you, H.R. I am not feeling this."

"It's the roast, isn't it? I should have gone with a dark."

"No, it's not the roast. The roast is fine. Our trust isn't something that you can just build with games. Okay?"

"No." H.R agreed.

"This is something that goes back three years. It's something that's been forged in fire, sometimes literally, so maybe you should just step back and observe, see what we do here, how we operate. Did you get that?"

"Excellent note. I'm going to run with that."

"Where's Caitlin, by the way? Have you –"

"Yes. So she was here."

"She was?"

"All right, yeah, you know, we talked, and she"

"What?"

"And she knocked back a triple-shot latte, and she left you a message, so I'm going to… Uh, I yeah, let me just play it for you. This is not the same as my Earth's. This is a different…"

"There it is."

 _"Hey, it's me. I've got some things I need to take care of. I shouldn't be gone more than a few days. See if you can get along without me. Make sure Cisco doesn't touch my pizza pockets."_ Her voice crackled through the computers audio speakers.

"Wasn't labelled."

"Okay, you know what, guys? I got to go to work. I'm running late."

"I got to bail."

"Oh. You know, we'll do the team-building exercises another I'll leave the clues hidden in the facility."

"Cool. How do you guys say see you later over there?"

"Ah until next communion."

"All right, see you later."

"See you later."

"So weird." Iris whispered shaking her head as she followed Barry out.

* * *

 ** _Caitlin's POV_**

Caitlin was lost in her own world. Her mind was circling everything in her life that had led her here to this very moment in her life. She couldn't believe that this was her life. From going up with both loving and attentive parents, to her father's sudden death and her mother's consistent distance after. College. Leaving her family name behind and charting a new path for herself all the while finding love only to lose that love twice. The heartache that continued to follow and plague her soul. Caitlin shook her head. Yet, as she thought back and filtered through her past, there was a resonating feeling in the pit of her chest that electrified her. That very feeling heating the depths of her stomach, telling her that her life hadn't always been lived with such sorrow and darkness. And even though she struggled to accept or even understand it, she knew where it was all stemming from. It was from those dreams. Those memories she felt was as real as the ground she stood on. The memories of life with Barry Allen.

"Sorry, cold hands." The man beside her apologised as he adjusted some of the monitors on her arm.

Suddenly aware of where she was, Caitlin smiled faintly at the man kneeling before her. "I didn't even notice."

"I'm Nigel, by the way." He introduced.

"Nice to meet you."

"We're going to help you figure this out, Caitlin." He reassured her with a warm smile.

Caitlin felt warmly towards Nigel, giving him a small nod, she stood as he did.

"Let's get you to the lab." He extended his arm out politely directing her towards the door.

* * *

* _Tannhauser Lab Basement*_

"What's this?" Caitlin asked her mother as she circled the heavily warm shaft.

"It's to test how your ability affects molecular motion. That shaft is solid tungsten, and it's heated to over 2,000 degrees centigrade." Her mother paused, as she walked back over to Nigel.

"I want you to cool it down, and when we determine how you can do that, we can figure out the best way to help you."

Caitlin eyed her mother curiously.

"Best we could do in such little time." Her mother noted, pushing the frame of her glasses further up the bridge of her nose.

"So this is where you've been for the last hour." Caitlin retorted.

"I had to reschedule my day for this, Caitlin." Her mother snapped back.

Oh it was like she was back in high school, Caitlin thought as she re-positioned her body directly facing the shaft.

"A lot of things around here require my attention." Her mother added.

"I remember." She replied with a heavy sigh.

"Whenever you're ready." She paused. "Don't hold back."

* * *

* _Moments later*_

It only took Caitlin mere seconds to turn the solid shaft of tungsten into an below sub-zero popsicle stick. She felt as the cold escaped her body with ease, it wasn't the full extent of her powers. But if she didn't hold back she knew she couldn't control just how much more she would have turned to ice. So once the heat radiating no long warmed her, but the cool mist of the tungsten began to chill her the room, her mother had ushered her back to the lab upstairs.

"How long have you had these abilities?" her mother asked as she withdrew blood samples form Caitlin's right arm.

"They started manifesting a few months ago, but I'm assuming I got them when the particle accelerator exploded, just like all the other metas." Caitlin explained.

"And you haven't told anyone?" Caitlin noticed a hint of concern in her mother's voice.

"Just you."

"I told you, you never should have taken that job at S.T.A.R. Labs. You could have stayed here, had access to world-class facilities." She ranted with a heavy sigh.

"And have all of my work be in the shadow of your reputation?" she responded rhetorically as she shook her head.

"Of course, the only time you need your mother is when you're in trouble." Her mother spat back as she snapped off her gloves.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Annoyed, Caitlin winced as she applied to much pressure to her arm where her mother just removed the needle.

"Oh, come on, darling. You ran off to Central City to play scientist with that disgraced quack."

"I was trying to make a name for myself." Caitlin defended.

"For three years, barely a word, until trouble hits, and then here you come, walking through the door and expecting Mommy to drop everything in her life to try to fix it."

"You have no idea what I've been through!" Caitlin yelled her voice rising in anger.

Caitlin watched as her mother opened her mouth to argue but was silenced, just as Nigel walked through the door with his tablet in hand.

"Dr. Tannhauser, look at this."

Watching as her mother's jaw clenched shut, she turned away from her daughter her lips set in a thin line.

Caitlin inhaled a deep breath, trying to control her stammering heart as she observed her mother and her lacky.

She couldn't hear what they were discussing but she knew that any information they yielded from these test she knew them all. She didn't know why she came here in the first place. But sitting there alone in the cold sterile place she found her answer. She just needed her mother.

* * *

* _Tannhauser Laboratory*_

"If you don't stop squirming, I'll never find a vein." Her mother prodded her other arm.

"What exactly are you testing for now?" she interrogated as her mother withdrew more blood.

"Any polymorphism that could help us understand how you're able to absorb that much energy from molecules to create gelid surroundings."

"You realize I've run all of these tests already?"

"Then what was the point of coming here?"

"Seriously, Mom?" her mother stared at her waiting for an answer.

"I'm terrified of what I'm becoming."

"You realize you haven't asked me once how I'm feeling."

"I'm trying to keep emotion out of this. Believe me, it's for your benefit as much as it is mine."

"Right, because that's your specialty, isn't it? Being cold, just like after…" Caitlin's voice trailed off.

"After what?"

"After Dad died." Caitlin responded her voice small.

"I did everything I could to save your father." Her mother responded pointedly.

"Well, you lost your daughter at the same time."

"You're the one who went away, Caitlin."

"Because I had to. You realize you never acted like my mother again after Dad got sick? You would barely even look at me." She trailed off, her mind pulling her back to her childhood.

"I couldn't handle the pain." Her mother paused.

"My work got me through it. Losing someone like that, you have no idea what that feels like."

"Actually, I do."

"My fiancé died over a year ago."

"I'm sorry."

"And now I feel like I've lost a lot more."

"What do you mean?"

"It's not just these powers that started a few months ago. I know this is going to sound weird but since they started, I've been having these flashes of my life. It's weird because I don't remember them. But they feel so real. I don't know. It doesn't make sense. It's like I've lost time."

"You've been blacking out?"

"I don't know. I just don't remember any of it. But I know it's real. I just don't know how."

"Hmmmm."

* * *

* _That night*_

Her mother had disappeared without a word leaving her alone and isolated for the past hour. Opening her purse for the first time, Caitlin pulled out her phone. She had numerous missed calls from the team and messages from Barry checking if she was okay. A small smile creeped at the corners of her mouth. Not only did she have to fight her new found powers but she also now had to fight to control her growing feelings for a man she know she can't have.

Checking the time, it was getting deeper into the night, Caitlin knew she wasn't going to get what she came here for. Resigned, she shoved her phone back into her bag and headed for the door.

Just as she neared the exit, Nigel startled her as he pulled open the door, stopping her suddenly in her tracks.

"You're leaving us?" he asked softly.

"Yeah." Caitlin sighed, attempting to move around him.

"Things between my mother and me are complicated." She explained.

Nigel, stepped back in front of her, his arms raised stopping her once again. "We can help you."

"I don't need your help with the science. I can do that on my own. I came here to get something from my mother that I realize now I'll never get." She confessed turning way a little embarrassed.

As she took a deep breath the sudden loud click of the door locking shocked her. Caitlin looked at Nigel suspiciously.

"What are you doing?" She demanded.

"Sorry, Frosty, but you're not going anywhere." He shrugged as pulled out an automatic locking key from his pocket.

Caitlin ran towards the door, trying to pry it open but it wouldn't budge. She was trapped. _Shit._

"Let me out of here." She ordered, her voice shaking with fright.

"Open these doors!" she begged.

"I said no!"

"I am sick of working day after day, night after night, only to have my work benefit your mother.

With the information I can get from you, I can finally get out of this place…" he took a breath, edging dangerously close to her.

"So you're going to stay here until I get everything that I need." He sneered, reaching out and grabbing her arm.

"You are not going to test me." Caitlin breathed heavily.

"Yes, I am." He snarled, tightening his grip on her arm.

Before she knew what was happening, something in her had snapped. The warmth seem to fade from her body. Her temperature radiating chills as the cold flowed through her body extending to the very tips of her fingers.

"No, Nigel. You are not going to test me, now or ever!" she growled, reaching out to his arm holding her and allowing the cold to radiate into his body.

"Wait, let go! LET GO!" He screamed.

"Ah!" he fell to the floor cradling his arm to his chest in pain.

Unaware of what she was doing, Caitlin leered over Nigel, her arm extended out toward him.

"Caitlin!" he mother's voice yelled.

Caitlin stopped, her eyes narrowing on Nigel.

"Don't do this! This isn't you!" her mother pleaded, inserting herself between Nigel and herself.

"You don't know anything about me, _Mother_."

"I know I wasn't much of a mother, and I know I have a lot to make up for, but I know I didn't raise a killer." Her mother's voice was calm yet strained.

"For whatever it's worth, I am so sorry."

An inner struggle waged as Caitlin fought for control. _This wasn't right. This wasn't her._ Her mother's voice rang in her head. _I didn't raise a killer. I didn't raise a killer… killer._

With all the strength she had, Caitlin fought her way back. The cold easing away and the feeling of warmth returning back to her body.

"It's worth a lot." Caitlin whispered as she fell into her mother's arms.

Her mother held her for a second longer. "Now go." She whispered into her ear.

Caitlin stepped back, her eyes gliding over to Nigel who lay injured on the ground, his eyes wide with fear. "What about…"

"I I'll take care of him. No one will ever know about this. I promise."

The look in her mother's eyes she knew it was a promise she would keep.

"Thank you." Caitlin mouthed.

"Just go."

* * *

 ** _Barry's POV_**

Barry' day had been long and eventful, yet somehow at the same time it felt empty and he knew why. It was because there was someone missing in his day. Caitlin. He wasn't sure if she suddenly M.I.A and avoiding him because of the kiss they shared the other day. He knew that it may have not been the best time but god did he miss her and before he knew what he was doing his lips were on hers.

That night when he made his way back to S.T.A.R Labs, he needed to talk to her. To explain himself but she was long gone. It was eating him up inside. He needed to explain that he was no longer with Iris. That he loved her. If it wasn't for this monster terrorising the city, he knew he'd be driving himself crazy.

With no appearance of the monster in the streets of Central City, Barry stalked his way through the lab looking for Cisco.

Peering into Cisco's workshop, Barry caught Cisco huddled, searching through H.R's belongings.

"Come on, you can't just go through his stuff; that's not…" Barry warned in a hushed voice as he peered over his shoulder keeping an eye out for any sign of H.R.

"I'm not going through his stuff." Cisco lied as he continued, his eyes growing wide as he found what he was looking for.

"See, this is what I'm talking about." He pointed as he held up a pen towards Barry.

Barry looked as his friend, his eyes accusing. _Had he gone mental?_

"What even is this?" Cisco whispered to himself as he began playing around with the pen.

Before Barry opened his mouth to tell his friend off, the pen made a beeping noise and H.R's voice seemed to echo from the device.

" _Now I seem to have won most of the team's trust, except Francisco's."_

As the recording broke for a pause, Barry jumped aside as H.R's present voice rang out from behind him.

"Those are my things. What are you doing?"

"What are you doing?" Cisco accused pointing the pen toward him.

"Who are you really? We know you're hiding something." He continued to interrogate.

H.R stepped into the room, his hands respectfully behind his back, his head dipped down caught.

"You've been burned, twice by a man with the same face as me. I imagine it's hard to trust after something like that." He began.

"You think?" Cisco replied sarcastically.

"I do think. So play the rest of it." He instructed.

Barry crossed his arms across his chest. His mouth pulled into a frown and the sudden deception from yet another Wells.

 _"I've read his journals. I found nothing that can tell me why Francisco feels the way he does, but I do hope I can change his opinion of Harrison Wells and the two of us can rebuild that friendship._

 _What a fantastic C-story to weave within the narrative."_

"What? What narrative? Narrative." Barry pressed this time.

"I'm writing a novel. "The Tales of H.R. Wells." Catchy, I know." He chuckled.

"Wait, I'm sorry, you're a scientist and a novelist?"

"Yes. Wow. That's perfect. Thank you. That's exactly right. I'm a scientist and a novelist; I run S.T.A.R. Labs, and also I'm an author of science-romance. That's my niche. Write what you know. And I thought, "Well, what better opportunity than to come to another Earth and pen yet another best seller about my adventures here?"

"Why didn't you just tell us this in the first place?" Barry asked confused.

"I guess it didn't seem relevant, and also, I didn't think you guys were going to rifle through my belongings. That's all it is. I'm a scientist and a novelist. Do you think you can trust me now, or is that not something that you have on this Earth, _trust_?"

Cisco stepped forward, his mouth open with a reply.

"Trust?"

Barry dropped his arms to his side, his body immediately taking a step forward to the familiar voice.

"Oh! You scared the dickens out of..." H.R laughed as he jumped startled.

"Trust who?" Caitlin repeated as she stood in the middle of the door frame, her eyes scanning the faces in the room. Only dropping to avoid Barry's as she caught his eyes.

Just the sudden sight of her, Barry felt elated. She was back.

Suddenly Cisco's cell phone buzzed, coinciding with the computer beeping beside them.

"It's the app. It's the monster. It's back." Cisco sighed.

"Monster?" she asked confused.

"Yeah, you've missed a lot. I'll explain upstairs." Barry smiled as he placed his hand on the small of her back leading her back up to the cortex.

He noticed the slight contact made the colours of her cheek turn to a soft shade of pink but she didn't pull away. Taking advantage of the moment, he let his fingers linger there as the made their way up to the rest of the team.

Hoping now that she was back, they'd have time to talk. But right now there was a monster that needed taking care of.

* * *

* _Late that night or early the next morning*_

With the citizens of Central City sleeping safe and sound tonight, Barry had bid his family and friends goodnight. It had been a long night. Barry wasn't even sure if was still considered night since they were well into the hours of the next morning. Assuming Caitlin had left for home, Barry wondered down the speed lab. Too awake to sleep he thought he'd tire himself out with a few hundred laps around in the speed lab. Scrolling through his phone, Barry pulled his head up just as he entered the room, only to find Caitlin on the steps of the lab, her gaze fixated somewhere in the distance.

"Hey." He called out announcing his presence.

"Oh hey." She replied back distracted.

Striding towards her Barry looked down, "May I?"

With a small nod, he took that as an invitation to sit down next to her.

"Where you been? We missed you around today." He asked fidgeting with his finger.

"I actually went to visit my mother." She confessed with a heavy sigh.

Barry looked at her as she stared blankly in front of her.

"Your mother?" he asked.

It was weird, even in their previous life Caitlin never really spoke of her family. She had told him once about her childhood and the strained relationship but it had been a while since she had brought her up.

"Mm-hmm." She nodded as she curled her knees up to her chest.

"Oh, boy. Why?"

Caitlin smiled small.

"To see if we could work through some of our issues." She paused.

"And I think we might actually be on the road to recovery." Her voice was soft as she sat beside him remembering something.

"When it comes to family, you got to do whatever it takes, 'cause one day, you might not be able to do that anymore."

He knew that she was talking about her father.

It was only in that moment that she turned to look at him. Her eyes soft and warm. Looking in them he felt that he was home. She stared back at him, her eyes never wavering. He saw in them confusion. Guilt. A hidden struggle she was burying away.

In that moment he wanted to make sure she knew that his shoulders were hers to lean on. That his heart was hers to hold. Instead she just smiled. He watched her cautiously. Studying the familiar features of her face. He could see her mind racing. There was something about her day, the look in her eyes, searching his for understanding that this wasn't the time for them to talk about the other day. All her could do was reach for hand, taking it in his.

"Glad you're back. I've missed you." He whispered.

He watched as he eyes drifted to their hands. A small smile cradled the corners of her lips. His heart beat fast savouring her touch knowing she'd probably pull away. Surprising him, she didn't. Instead, she widened her fingers before interlacing them with his.

"This is home." She whispered as she dropped her head to his shoulder.

* * *

 ** _Caitlin's POV_**

She wasn't sure how long they stayed there for. In that moment she didn't care. After everything that happened she needed his touch. His warmth. She felt guilty for it. He was with Iris. _But they were friends right?_ And she needed her friend's comfort. But she knew she was only fooling herself. She wanted more. Whatever was happening between them was definitely more. The kiss the other day only confirmed what she could only deny. But she couldn't talk about what happened. Her mind was already plagued with confusing memories and then there was her powers. Her life was already complicated. She didn't another real reason to complicate her life. She was just happy as they sat there. Her hand in his.

The sun had already risen over the horizon when Caitlin had returned home. She was exhausted. As she threw her pj's on and was ready to climb into bed, her phone buzzed with a new video message from her mother.

 _Caitlin, I've been going over the data we collected, and I found some disconcerting results. Your body's chemistry is changing in ways that I don't fully understand, but one thing is clear. These powers you have, the more you use them, and the more difficult they're going to be to reverse. And these memories you've been talking about. You're right. From the early brain scans you sent me. They've started the same time as your powers. I can't explain what they mean. I'm sorry, honey, but listen to me. You must not use these powers under any circumstances._

Just as the message finished, Caitlin's heart rate had spiked. Fearing already the news she already knew but her mother, her last hope had confirmed. With the fear bubbling in her chest and unable to control her powers, her body began to chill and her phone within the grip of her hand had frozen over and cracked under her fingers.

 _Shit._


	6. 3 Episode 6 Truths

**_It took me a while, but here it is. I promise I will finish off season 3. Eventually. For now here's another chapter to keep you going._**

 ** _Thanks for your patience and continued support and love for the twists to the show I've made. Enjoy as always. A a belated happy holidays._**

 ** _Disclaimer: I do not own the Flash nor its characters._**

* * *

 ** _Barry's POV_**

Barry's feet peddled through the same familiar hallways of CCPD, his nose deep in a case file, Barry was lost in his own world. In a weird and strange way, over the past couple of days it felt as things were starting to find their rhythm again. Admittedly, it wasn't as it was before, but after that brief moment with Caitlin the other night, it had felt as things were as they were. Her hand in his, felt natural. It felt normal. It felt like home. Right now he didn't know what that meant for her. What that meant for 'them' but he had a feeling that it was the start to getting back to where they once were. He just hoped that she'd feel the same way. Just as everything was starting to feel right, there was nothing about this day that could break his mood.

As Barry turned the next corner, he peered up from his case file, upon seeing Joe he opened his mouth to greet him, when Cecile appeared and stopped Barry in his tracks. Barry watched from a distance as a cheesy smile came over his adoptive father's face, he noticed as his muscles relaxed and his eyes light up as he saw her.

"Joe." Cecile nodded cautiously as she approached Joe.

"Cecile." He smiled, trying to hide the glint of happiness he had in his eyes.

"Hi. I didn't know you were going to be over here." He lied, her eyes wandering around her before landing back on her.

"Any excuse I have to run into you, I take it." She chuckled.

Taking a quick glance over her shoulder, she leaned in and lowered her voice to a whisper, "You know I'm really looking forward to tomorrow night."

"So am I." he grinned wide.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

Barry stood behind in the shadows, hiding his smile as he watched his father act like a love sicked teenager. Noticing these little moments in the crazy life that they led, gave him hope that his future with Caitlin could be restored and through all the impossible things they go through he'd have a home to run to. Someone who could ground him. He'd have her.

"Okay, good, then I, uh, I'll see you then." He replied clearing his throat as Joe noticed Barry approaching them.

"All right." She replied, offering a warm smile to Barry as she took one last glance at Joe and then departing.

"Yo." Joe said maybe a little too brutally as he tried to disguise what just happened.

"Is that what I think it was? You asked her to movie night with us? That's awesome. When did you do that? How'd you do it?" Barry rambled on, unable to contain his happiness for his father.

"As much as I'd like to gossip with you like a teenager right now, there's something else we need to talk about." He said seriously, as the glint in his eyes disappeared and he usher Barry to a secluded corner of the CCPD.

"What?"

Joe's mouth set in a straight line. The lines of worry embedding deep into his forehead as he spoke.

"Wally. He's been having dreams. Dreams? Saving people, becoming a speedster. He called himself Kid Flash."

"Kid Flash…" Barry stammered. _Shit._

"He... he said that name, specifically?" Barry pressed concerned. _Shit._

Joe saw the worry in Barry's face.

"He's in trouble, isn't he?"

Barry nodded slowly unable to look Joe in the eye as his mind began to race.

"If Wally's having dreams of being Kid Flash... then he's in trouble, yeah, but don't worry, okay, we'll figure it out. I'll see you later."

"All right."

* * *

 ** _Caitlin's POV_**

After a restless night, Caitlin sat back in her chair, her thoughts repeating on a constant loop. Her mind kept dwelling on the feeling of his fingers in her hand. The way she felt his warmth sooth her as she leaned closer to his side.

In that moment she thought that nothing else mattered. The nightmare of the day she had or the monster that she knew un-dormant somewhere inside her slipped her mind and she was able to be in that moment. Be with him. Everything about that felt right. She couldn't explain it but it was as if she were living one of her dreams. The ones where she and Barry had a life in which she loved him and he her. In that moment she allowed herself to live in that reality. Admittedly she loved it. Admittedly she loved him. But she could never allow herself to say that allowed. Not with him and Iris. Not with and her situation… and even if she could, how could he love what she was becoming? She thought to herself… _He can't._

"You think everyone on Earth-19 is missing crayons in the box, or just him?"

"Paging Dr. Snow. Wow, you are out of it." Cisco repeated.

Caitlin heard the low hum of someone's voice beacon her.

Shaking her thoughts to the side, Caitlin pulled herself upright, straightening herself as she swivelled in her chair to face Cisco.

"Sorry."

"These have anything to do with your recent visit with mom?" Cisco asked concerned as his brows pulled together his eyes searching her face.

Caitlin opened her mouth and quickly shut it unsure of what or how much to say. _God_ she wished she could just talk to someone. Anyone. But the burden of her secret, she knew once they knew she'd have to leave. And as she looked at her friend, she knew how hard it would be to leave. She knew she couldn't give her family up. And if she actually would let herself admit it… she couldn't give _him_ up either.

Instead of saying what she wanted to say, she looked at her friend, her eyes soft as she spoke with a smile.

"I just... I haven't been sleeping well, but I'm okay."

"Coffee?" he suggested.

"Perfect." She laughed as she picked herself up and followed her friend out.

* * *

 ** _Barry's POV_**

The West household fell upon silence. The only noise that could be heard was the low hum of the refrigerator. Barry had his knee bobbing up and down in anticipation for their reaction. Only a moment ago had he relived the memories of Flashpoint out-loud to his family. Or at least the parts related to them.

Everyone sat in shocked silence. No one looking at each other, their eyes just transfixed to the air in front of them as the absorbed the bomb shell Barry just had shared. He waited anxiously at the bottom of the staircase, fidgeting and then suddenly stopping as all eyes seemed to simultaneously turn in his direction. Without warning, it was if the air from the room evaporated and he felt himself begin to overheat as the walls around the living room began to enclose on him. The agonising silence suffocating until finally at last, Wally spoke.

"So I did have powers?" he questioned in a stunned disbelief.

Barry nodded.

"I was Kid Flash?" he repeated his question just as Barry opened his mouth.

Barry looked at his adoptive father, towards Iris before settling on Wally.

"In Flashpoint, yes." He nodded in confirmation.

"I knew that this was happening." Joe mumbled stressed.

"Why didn't you tell me before?" Wally interrogated.

"Because..." Barry stammered.

"Because why?" Wally pressed getting angry.

Barry stood up, taking a step towards Wally trying to make him understand.

"All right, fine, Wally, it, look... in that timeline, you were fighting The Rival."

"Edward Clariss?" Joe asked.

"Edward Clariss, yeah." Barry paused.

"You couldn't stop him. There were no S.T.A.R. Labs. There was no team to help you. It was just you and Iris. The two of you were a brother-sister superhero crime-fighting team."

"Why didn't you tell us this before?" Iris questioned.

Barry rubbed a hand over the back of his neck, the pressure of the secret they wanted him to keep now unravelling.

"You didn't want to know about your Flashpoint lives." He explained. "But look, listen to me, you got hurt, all right? You got hurt _bad_." he emphasised.

"So what? That's that me, it's not this me. And I want to be a speedster. I... I want to be a flash."

"No, no, no, you don't." Barry shook his head vigorously.

"Yes, I do." Wally replied bluntly, all seriousness strained in his voice.

"You're not hearing what he's saying. He's telling us it's not safe." Joe stated.

"Who cares what Barry's saying? How do we even know he's telling the truth?" Wally shouted angrily.

"Wally, come on, this isn't because of the particle accelerator… it's because of Dr. Alchemy. It's the same thing that happened to Frankie Kane."

"You don't know that." Wally argued growing more frustrated.

"Yes, we do. And we need to try to keep it from happening." Joe countered.

"Why don't we just say what this is really about?!" Wally yelled as his father.

Everyone in the room looked around confused.

"You're okay with Barry having powers; you're okay with Barry running into danger, fighting all these metas. He can screw up over and over _AGAIN_. You're okay with all of it because he's Barry." He paused, his breathing shallow with frustration.

"But you won't give me the same amount of leeway because at the end of the day, you just don't trust me."

"You know that's not true, Wally." Barry stepped forward, trying to calm him down.

"I don't need you fighting my dad's battles for him." He barked back.

"Say it, Joe. You. don't. trust. Me." He emphasised.

"Do you?"

"Wally..." Joe sighed.

"That's what I thought!"

And with that he was gone with the slam of the door.

In that moment, Barry didn't know what to do. The guilt of how much of his friends and families lives he had ruined and now it's the secret agony that burdened him day in and day out. He hated knowing what their lives like before he created flashpoint. He was ready to tell them but he made a vow also that he wouldn't reveal anything if they didn't want to know. So in his guilt is where he suffered alone.

* * *

 ** _Caitlin's POV_**

Ever since Barry had come back to the team with a non-surprising peculiar case, something about his silence seemed off. No on in the room seemed to notice. But she did. He avoided her gaze as he seemed wrapped up in his own thoughts. She just hoped that whatever kind of moment they shared last night, deep down somewhere she tried burying she hoped he didn't regret it.

Turning away she tried distracting herself by the case Barry had just brought in.

"Killed by a shadow? That's a new one." Her voice rang out.

From the corner of her eye she noticed as Barry seemed to snap out of his thoughts and re-focused his attention on the case up on the screen.

"Maybe that's what killed Edward Clariss." Cisco noted.

"Clariss was a meta-human. This victim doesn't appear to be." Barry clarified.

"Do we know if this shadow meta is from the particle accelerator explosion or from Dr. Alchemy?"

"Not yet, no. We actually haven't found any evidence to process." Barry shrugged, shoving his hands in his pockets.

"If only we had a way, Francisco, to see what happened." HR stated rhetorically.

Barry smiled small as he saw Cisco roll his eyes annoyed at HR's obvious suggestions.

"Where was the crime scene located?" Cisco asked.

"In Chubbuck, uh, Palmer and Racine, around 11:00 last night."

It took a minuted for Cisco to scan through the last nights footage, bringing up on the screen moments just before 11.

"Whoa. Whoa." Cisco remarked. "That's gonna give me night terrors."

"Shade." HR named causally.

"What?" Barry turned on him curiously.

"We had a meta-hominid on my planet who could do virtually the same thing, called himself "Shade." "

"What did he do, throw his side-eye at his enemies?" Cisco smirked.

"No, I know, it's a terrible nickname, right? But what Shade could do was vibrate at such a high frequency he created the illusion that he was a shadow."

"That's how I phase. Do you think he's doing the same thing?" Barry noted.

"He has to be. Heat signatures fluctuating. Red shift is ridiculous."

"Okay, so he is. He must be slowing down his molecules whenever he attacks." Caitlin concluded.

"So we just have to figure out a way to keep them slowed down, and that should be enough to grab him." Cisco added as he nodded in agreement with Caitlin.

"All right, can you get started?" Barry pressed eagerly.

"Okay, but, like, right this minute?"

"Yeah, I'm sor... we just... we gotta stop this guy fast so we can focus on Alchemy. Wally has been having dreams about being a speedster, Alchemy dreams." He confessed with a heavy sigh.

"He was a speedster in Flashpoint? Anyone else gonna have powers we should know about?" Cisco retorted.

Caitlin shifted her between her feet anxiously responding maybe a little too fast. "No."

"All right. I'm gonna work on Shade." Cisco agreed before gathering up some of his things and turned to leave.

"I'll supervise."

"You're gonna find my cuffs." Cisco snapped.

"I'll have to find some cuffs."

Caitlin gripped tighter on the mug she had cradled in between her hands. She hadn't realized that she'd been holding in her breath. Nervous that Cisco would discover she was the one who had borrowed the cuffs. The lies and secrets she's been carrying around with her began to take a toll. She needed to tell someone. And the one person she wanted to pour her heart out to, his heart belonged to someone else. And as she stood behind him, she felt ridiculous and guilty for feeling this strongly about him. But the dreams, the way his skin felt on hers, it awakened something that was already inside her. C

Caitlin finally released that breath she had been holding as she stood watching as Barry leaned over the desk, his head on his arms.

Edging closer, she paused momentarily, hesitating before reaching out and placing a hand on his back.

"You okay Barry?"

Barry inhaled deeply, not moving away from her touch. When he finally stood, he turned to her with a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes.

"Yeah why?" he lied.

The heaviness in his eyes told her, he was lying.

"You just seem a bit off." She noted.

Suddenly there was just a heavy silence that lingered between them. He didn't respond. His just bore into hers. As if searching for something. _Comfort? Empathy? Understanding?_ She wasn't sure. But she could tell he was burdened with a weight of truth he couldn't share. She knew that look all too well. It was the same look he probably could see in her.

The need to unburden it all. Right here and _now._ She want to confess how he made her feel. I guess how she had always felt about him. How the dreams or memories she had about a life with him. A life she badly wished was reality. With the growing tension between them, all she wanted to do in this moment was grab him and kiss him. But one thing remained true. He was with Iris. And whatever she wanted she knew had to die with her. If he was happy, then she was content.

Breaking away from his gaze, her eyes flickered to the cuffs just peeking out from under her lab coat. The reminder of her growing power, readjusted everything into perspective. She was going to have to leave soon. It was better this way she reminded herself. Readjusting her sleeves so he didn't notice the cuffs, broke whatever moment they had then.

"All right, I got to get back to work before Julian loses his mind." He said as he cleared his throat, before excusing himself away.

* * *

* _A couple of hours later*_

She paced up and down the same corridor for the past hour. Besides herself. She was scared. Scared of her best friend's reaction. They've met her evil doppelganger. Yes. She was cruel and destructive. What if that was her fate. She hadn't thought about it much but lately they had been plaguing her mind even more. Summoning up the courage she took a deep breath and shakily walked into Cisco's workshop.

She watched as her friend was neck deep in his work. Deep in concentration he hadn't heard her come in.

"Hey, Cisco." She croaked.

"Yes?" he replied without looking up from his work.

She paused, trying to find her voice. "I took your cuffs." She confessed.

That caught his attention. She watched as if everything started to play in slow motion before her. He looked up at her confused.

Caitlin lifted up the edges of her lab coat, revealing the cuffs Cisco had created to dampen meta-powers. In one swift motion, Caitlin unlocked the cuffs, extending her hands out giving them back to him.

"Why?" he questioned as he took them back.

"Because I needed them."

"Is... is this some sort of, um, bold fashion choice 'cause you're not a -"

Reaching out to the half-drunk glass of water beside her, she felt the coolness flow through her to her fingertips, instantly turning the water into ice.

"-meta-hu... hu... human." He stammered his face suddenly becoming unreadable.

"Surprise." She said, her voice small as she looked at her friend scared.

The way he stared at the glass, she was unsure of how he was absorbing the bombshell she just landed. She felt her heart hammering hard against her chest.

"It started a few months ago."

"That's why you went to see your mom, to see if she could help you." He said as he started piecing it all together.

"But she can't. I've run every test. There's nothing that anyone can do." She replied sadly.

"I need a favour." She paused.

"I need you to vibe me in the future because I need to know if I become..." she swallowed hard.

"…her…"

"You're not gonna become her." He reassured her.

Caitlin just shook her head. He didn't know that. But he was the only one who could find out for sure.

"Okay, just because you have these powers doesn't mean you're gonna turn into Killer Frost."

Caitlin looked back up to at her best friend. _God this was so hard_. The way he was looking at her now. She felt broken. She was scared. She felt so alone.

"I think it might." She shrugged, the tears pooling in her eyes.

"Please?" she begged reaching out to him.

"I just need to know for sure. I need to know if I become evil because if I do, I have to leave and never come back." She pleaded, as she inhaled deeply.

Cisco saw the desperate look in her eyes and nodded. It took him a moment, but he took his hand and placed it on her shoulder. For a second, only a second he was here and then his eyes said he wasn't. She watched as they flicked as if he was watching a screen.

She watched on nervously. Suddenly Cisco yanked his hand back and stumbled back on his desk.

Caitlin reached out to him but he flinched away regrettably from her touch. She retracted her hand, the pit of her stomach falling.

"And?" her voice whispered as she held her breath.

"I didn't see anything." He breathed out. Adding a small smile he took her hand. "You're fine."

 _Was he sure_? _This can't be real?_ Suddenly the heaviness she had been carrying around lifted. She actually began to cry. The overwhelming feeling of liberation settling in her. She felt for the first time she could actually let out a breath and breathe.

"Oh, thank you. Thank you." She said ecstatically as her best friend pulled her into a hug.

"Please, um, don't tell anyone about this yet, okay?" she asked as she pulled back, wiping away the tears with the back of her hand.

"Of course." He nodded.

* * *

 ** _Barry's POV_**

Barry and the rest of the team rushed back to S.T.A.R Labs after a 911 emergency came from Iris. After everything that had happened between the two, Barry giving her space seemed to defrost some of the tension between them. It wasn't easy seeing her almost every day and not being able to talk to his best friend. But he knew if he kept lying to her, he would have surely lost her. He was glad that she still found that she could still call him whenever she needed him. However, as they stood in the cortex, looking at the monitor of Wally passed out in one of the cells; he hated the reason that brought her the need to call him. _Alchemy._

"Wally wasn't himself. He was possessed. Alchemy was calling for him."

"I knew I shouldn't have left." Joe muttered under his breath, guilt ridden.

"It's okay, Joe, nothing happened." Barry consoled.

"He's not okay, Barry. This thing's coming after him, and... and there ain't a damn thing we can do?"

"Well, we stopped Shade. And now we can focus on Alchemy, all right?"

"Unless he sends another meta to Central City to attack. Then we're in trouble."

"You think Shade was a distraction?" Iris quizzed.

"I agree with Iris; I think the attack on Wally and the attack by Shade happened at essentially the same time. So that's not a coincidence." HR responded.

"If that's true, that means Alchemy's gonna sending another one of his metas soon."

"We don't know that." Barry shook his head in denial, crossing his arms across his chest.

"Barry, we found six husks. So besides Shade, Magenta, and Clariss, there's still three unaccounted for." Joe noted.

"Okay, well, if more come, then we'll stop them. But Alchemy can't get Wally if he stays in the cell."

"Barry, we can't just let Wally suffer in there. And besides, burying our head in the sand is not gonna make Alchemy go away."

"Ignoring the problem does not get rid of it. You're gonna have to face it." Cisco mumbled quietly as if he weren't speaking at all.

He paused before continuing, his eyes locking onto Caitlin's "Don't we?"

Barry followed Cisco gaze towards Caitlin. She looked a taken back. A look of fear and surprise clouding her features.

"What?" Joe questioned.

"Nothing." Caitlin replied, shaking her head. Her mouth turning into a tight line.

"Come on, Caitlin!" Cisco begged.

Barry dropped his arms to his side, his muscles tensing in concern as he could only watch the exchange between the two, unsure of what was happening. All he knew was that the pain in her face, he just wanted to make it go away.

"Not right now, Cisco." She said firmly, as she stared firmly at her friend, signalling she wanted this conversation to end.

"I... just... I can't just keep this in. You have to tell them." He retorted loudly.

"Tell them what?" Joe interrupted.

Barry stood in the sidelines, carefully watching Caitlin as she fought an inward battle. The look in her eyes, told him that this was the secret she'd been keeping.

He watched her take a deep breath, her hands fiddling with the edges of her sleeves. Locking eyes with him, he softened, letting her know that whatever she was about to say was okay.

It was as if she found a sense of confidence in him because she opened her mouth to speak. "I have powers."

Whatever she had just said, Barry sure as hell wasn't expecting that. Surprised and unsure Barry's heart sank. He knew that this was all his fault. He had done this to her. _Fuck._

"What?!" Joe said shocked.

"What kind of powers?" Iris whispered, a sense of jealously lingering at the end of her voice.

Caitlin extended her hands in front of her. "The cold kind." Her voice ached.

The cold cloud that vibrated off her hands disappeared as she slammed her hands down onto the desk.

"Happy now?" she bit back as she stared back at Cisco.

"So, what, we're just gonna keep secrets from each other?" he tried defending.

"Yeah, well, this wasn't your secret to tell, was it, Cisco?" she yelled, the hurt and pain radiating off her.

"I did that because I care about you."

As she stared back at her friend, her eyes begged on the edge of tears. "If you cared about me, then you would have let me tell them all when I was ready. Because this is happening to _ME_! not you. I'm the one turning evil. I'm the one who's gonna have to leave soon." She yelled back, her body shaking uncontrollably as she yanked the cuffs off the table and stormed out.

Barry stood frozen. _What just happened?_ This wasn't supposed to be this way. This wasn't the life she was meant to have. _This was all his fault._

"I vibed the two of us fighting each other in the future. She was Killer Frost." Cisco whispered.

Barry's mouth set into a hard line. As they all just stared off to where she use to be.

"I'll go talk to her." HR volunteered as he raised a drumstick.

Barry stopped him with his hand.

"I got it."

* * *

 ** _Caitlin's POV_**

* _One of the many lab rooms*_

Caitlin scurried off to her lab just down the hall. As she entered the room, she paused. She didn't realise how badly she was shaking. The shock of being cornered and the hurt of the look of her friends face. _His_ face. Her mind just replayed his reaction. The horror and shock that overcame his features as she told her truth.

Needing to sit before she collapsed, Caitlin sat down, placing the cuffs back on, before readjusting her leather jacket to cover them.

A soft knock came from behind her.

Caitlin opened her mouth about to blast her friend Cisco for placing her in that positioned, but as she swivelled around she was surprised by the figure that shadowed the door way.

"Hey." His voice rang out softly.

Her mouth dry she just turned back around. She heard as Barry came in and took a seat in the chair in front of her.

Silence followed. She did everything she could to avoid his eyes.

"How long have you known?" he whispered.

Caitlin hesitated for a moment. Unsure of how much to tell him. She fought the urge to just blurt out everything. Her dreams, the ways he made her felt. The electricity that always ignited when he held her.

 _Ugh_ if only it were that simple. Why should it matter anyways, she was going to have to leave soon.

She finally looked up at him. "A few months." She paused waiting for the judgement but it never came.

"First I didn't want to accept what was happening to me. And then I had to. So then I tried to suppress my powers. But there's no suppressing these powers."

Barry didn't say anything. His eyes just bore into hers. As she stared back, she found it almost impossible to read. It was if he was seeking some sort of forgiveness. There was guilt and sadness hidden in his eyes. It confused her.

"I just can't believe that this is my life." She whispered.

And for the first time he spoke. "It shouldn't be." He paused, avoiding his gaze.

"None of what's happening to any of you should be."

Caitlin leaned forward, begging him to look at her.

"What do you mean, any of us?"

It took a moment, as he looked at her, his eyes darting between hers as if he was debating on what to say.

"I mean..." he took a deep breath.

"Dr. Alchemy… Wally… You getting powers. Even Dante being dead in this timeline. It's all because I created Flashpoint. And no matter what I do now, everything's different."

"Wait…" she backed away in shock.

"So none of this happened before?" she stuttered in disbelief.

He shook his head.

Caitlin's mind was racing. _None of this happened before._ And suddenly, it was if things came into focus. Her dreams started to flash through her mind hard and fast. Caitlin threw a hand to her head.

"Cait…" Barry's voice stressed concerned.

"So… my powers… I didn't have them?"

He shook his head, afraid to touch her as she began to pace.

"My dreams… they're aren't dreams. They're memories."

"What dreams? What memories?" he asked now confused.

"We had a life together. Didn't we? We were married. We had a house… we - we -"

"Wait you remember?" Barry stammered as he reached out taking her shoulders so she would stop pacing.

Caitlin stopped. His hands holding her firmly, she fought the urge to fold into his arms. As his eyes bore into hers, igniting a hope that she wasn't sure what it meant. _Did he still love her?_

All she could do was nod.

She watched as a weight was lifted off his shoulders. And just like that, the air in the room seemed to evaporate. Barry's hands slide up her shoulder, cradling her head in his hands. His eyes never leaving hers.

"I'm sorry, Caitlin. I'll fix this. I promise" He whispered.

Still holding her gaze, he began to lean down, her heart thumping in her chest, her breath growing shallow as she eagerly waited for his lips on hers. She didn't pull away. She didn't want to.

Just as his lips brushed against hers. A knock at the door startled them apart. Caitlin took a step back, questioning what just happened.

"Wally's up." Iris voice croaked obviously noting that she had just interrupted something.

"Okay." Barry smiled.

Caitlin can't believe what Barry had just told her. She wasn't crazy. Everything that she had been remembering it was all real. They had built a life together. He had loved her. She had loved him. _She still loved him._ Yet, things were different. He hadn't told her the truth. He was still with Iris. She loved him. But she wasn't sure he still loved her. _But that kiss?_ Shaking her head. She was more confused as before. She just need some distance to think. _Shit._

She turned to leave, Wally needing her expertise, Caitlin started to leave the room. She felt Barry's hand reach out and grab her wrist, turning her to him.

He was silent, but his eyes seemed to be speaking for him.

"Cait."

"I can't right now Barry." She replied, pulling back her arm and leaving him alone behind her.

* * *

 _*A couple of hours later*_

Against protest, Caitlin had agreed to let Wally be used as bait as the team tried setting a trap to capture Dr Alchemy.

"They've just left." Caitlin relayed to Cisco as she entered the cortex fiddling with her fingers.

Since the revelation, she hadn't known what to say to her friend. After some thought, she knew his heart was in the best place and that it wasn't his intention to hurt her. She shouldn't have burdened him with the heaviness of her secret. But the truth was out and the truth of the matter was at the end of it all, there was nothing they could do. She was going to have to leave. To protect the ones she loved. To protect Cisco… to protect _him… Barry,_ she was going to have to leave. The thought made her ill. She couldn't bear a life without them, but a world with them in it and safe was a world better and she knew that her not being there was the only way it could be. So as she stared at her friend, head deep in his work, she made up her mind. She'd leave soon.

"I'm almost done. I'll be right there." He called out to her.

Caitlin smiled even though he couldn't see. Stepping further into the room, she laid a hand on her friends shoulder.

Cisco pulled up to look at her. A small and unsure smile creeping across his face… he was uncertain if she was still mad at him for outing her.

"Cisco, I am so sorry about how I reacted. I understand why you told everyone." She apologisesd

"Never helps when we keep things from each other." He shrugged.

"You're right. And I'm glad that you told everyone. I'm just not very good at asking for help. I get that from my mom." she laughed lightly.

"You're better than your mother." He said looking her seriously in the eye.

The softness in his eyes, brought comfort to her. It was going to be hard to leave him.

"I don't know." She paused.

"I'm just so terrified because she said if I keep using my powers, then it'll be impossible to stop them."

"Your mother might be one of the most accomplished scientists on this planet, but when it comes to the impossible, we're the experts. We're gonna help you, Caitlin. Okay?" he promised, pulling her into a hug.

"Okay." She whispered leaning into him.

After a moment they broke apart.

"Let's go help Wally." Cisco suggested cheerfully.

"You got it." she replied, her smile not quite reaching her eyes.

As she watched her friend leave, she took in a heavy sigh before following him out. _Help Wally, and go._ She told herself.


	7. 3 Episode 7 Frost Part I

_**Hello everyone. Hope you're all well, especially with all this craziness we have happening out in the real world today. I hope that while we are all couped up inside our homes, we're staying sane and healthy. On the flip-side, this isolation has given me time to finish the next installment to keep you guys occupied at least for the next hour.**_

 _ **So please enjoy. Please do your bit and stay home if you can. Stay safe everyone.**_

 _ **Disclaimer: I do not own the Flash nor its characters.**_

 _ **PART 1**_

* * *

 ** _Caitlin's POV_**

Caitlin stood there frozen. Her face ashen as she stood before her screen, her eyes scanning over the monitor, her eyes darting over the data. _No. No. No._ She repeated over and over again to herself as she witnessed Barry's vitals spike at dangerous levels.

"What's happening?" Iris called out as she stepped into the cortex her presence materializing behind Caitlin.

"I don't understand." Iris added peering over Caitlin's shoulder trying to get a better understanding on what the influx in Barry's vitals meant.

For some ungodly reason, Caitlin was at a loss for words. She felt as if her heart was in her throat and she couldn't breathe. All she could do as her eyes were transfixed on the screen was to shake her head in denial. _This couldn't be right._ She thought to herself. _This made no sense._

Hearing the faint whispers of her name, Caitlin looked up to see Iris staring at her with concern.

Loosening her grip from the edge of the desk, Caitlin cleared her throat trying to concentrate and be in the moment. "The suit's tracker must be malfunctioning." She responded almost inaudibly, as she once again lost her focus, her mind and heart drifting back to Barry. The fear and concern that shot through her sent shock waves through her system paralysing her mind.

"It says he's appearing and reappearing all over the city at once, and that's impossible." Caitlin added finally finding a bit of her voice.

"He can't be moving that fast." Iris interjected.

"Well, if he can't maybe something else can." Cisco implied.

Before Caitlin could comprehend what that could mean Cisco pointed their attention back to the screen.

"Look. It stopped. He's at the waterfront." Cisco let out a breath.

"Okay. We have to get to him." Iris stated.

"And do what? He's fighting an invisible force that's too fast to track." Cisco added.

"If I may, I have a plan." HR finally spoke.

Overwhelmed with the different waves of her thoughts and feelings, she was unnerved to hear HR's voice break into the conversation. Unaware that his presence was actually in the room.

"No. No." Cisco snorted shaking his head.

"Pretty good plan." HR voiced ignoring Cisco.

"Put your hand down." Cisco ordered.

"It's a question of numbers." HR continued to speak, disobeying Cisco's waving of his hands to shut the hell up.

"Cause right now, it seems to be one against one." he stated. "What if there were three against one? Do you know what I'm saying?" he stopped. Glancing at Cisco before his eyes landed on Caitlin.

From the corner of her eye, she saw as Iris nodded vigorously in agreement. "Yes, Cisco, you can open a breach and get you both to the waterfront."

Caitlin shook her head. Drawing in a deep breath she stepped back holding her hands up defensively. _No. They must be insane._ She couldn't believe what they were asking her to do. What did they expect her to do? She had no control over her powers. They knew that. _She couldn't do it. They had to find another way._

"Guys, I can. It's too dangerous." She stammered over her words.

Iris pulled at her. "I'm begging you. Please."

She felt all eyes bore into her. Waiting for her what she was going to say next. Caitlin had never felt so torn. Her heart was pulling her to go. She knew with every fibre in her body she would do absolutely anything for Barry. After everything, everything she knew she couldn't deny her feelings for him any longer. She loved him. And she wanted to save the man she loved. But her mind was plagued with fear. In the knowledge that if she went she could more than likely get them killed. And she didn't know what was worse.

The room stilled, the second dragging out as she fought with the internal battle raging inside her. Closing her eyes, she found her resolution in the memories of the life she had with Barry. She knew what she had to do. Even if it meant she had to sacrifice losing herself and leaving everything she loved behind her. She knew now without a doubt she would choose saving her friends… she would choose saving the man she loved. She would always choose Barry.

Opening her eyes, she swallowed hard. "Okay."

* * *

 ** _Barry's POV_**

 _*Central City Waterfront*_

Suffocating, Barry's lungs felt as though they were being crushed as he fought for air. Weakening, he fell to his knees as the mysterious enemy towered over him, his grip around Barry's neck tightening as he held him up by the shear hold of his metallic armoured hand. Clawing at his grasp, Barry felt himself weakening, his arms falling limp to his sides, powerless against this new speedster.

"You are only a shadow beneath my throne." His voice thundered down to Barry even as a whisper.

"You are the past, whereas I... I am the _future_ , Flash." he leered closer to Barry's face.

Barry couldn't speak instead found himself choking for air. As his lungs burned, he felt himself begin to fade. Flashes of the people he loved started to pass in front of his eyes. _His parents. Joe. Iris. Cisco. Harry. Wally. Jesse. HR… and Caitlin._ Just as he as was on the edge of the darkness consuming, his mind stayed on Caitlin. He remembered all the nights he was lucky enough to just hold her in his arms. The way her lips tasted on his. The feeling of love when she said 'I love you'. The pure joy when she said 'yes' to forever. The feeling of home when she promised 'I do' to the feeling of unconditional love when he held her holding their daughter. His last thoughts lingered on that first memory he had. The way she looked. Her light brown waves framing the edges of her face as her warm brown eyes met his and the sound of her voice soft and warm calling his name. " _Barry…"_

Blinking, Barry thought he was hallucinating. _Caitlin?_

"BARRY!" her voice rang out clear to him.

He wasn't hallucinating.

"I can't see it!" she shouted, her hands out ready for a fight.

"Just do it!" Cisco yelled back as he fell to his knees cradling the side of his head.

Fighting the darkness trying to consume him, Barry tried to find the strength to tell them to go…. to leave him. But as the lack of words escaped his mouth, Caitlin stepped forward, a cool stream of ice and cold blasting towards him at a high velocity. An undeniable coldness shrouded over him as the speedster was shelled in a thick layer of ice, frozen in his demonic shape. Barry felt the cold from the ice statue seep into his body. Just as Caitlin was about to shot another shattering blast of ice, the speedster broke out of his casing leaving shards of broken ice crystals in his wake. Barry fell to his hands shaking.

Fighting to catch his breath, Barry looked up to see his friends. Caitlin leaning over her knees as tried to regain a sense of herself and then Cisco, on his knees as he held his head in his hands.

"Whoo-ee! Ahh. Oh, boy. I'm gonna feel that tomorrow. Ah." Cisco paused. "That was a new and painful use of my powers."

Barry shook out a smile. He was glad to see his friends. His heart soared at the sight of her. And with that he fell over onto his back, shiver with cold and exhaustion.

* * *

 ** _Caitlin's POV_**

Her hands rested on her knees. Caitlin held her eyes tightly shut as she fought the magnetic pull of her emotions: confusion, anger and hurt fight for control. Concentrating on her breathing, she took many deep inhales and exhales. Just as she found a sense of balance in herself, she looked up to see as Barry fell to the ground. Panic set in, her legs moved before she even knew what she was doing and she was at his side in an instant. Her hand fell onto his chest, as the other cradled the side of his face.

"Ugh. You okay?" she asked, her voice strained with concern.

Shivering, he angled his face into her touch.

"Barry, say something!"

"Yeah, I'm okay. Just cold." He breathed out heavily.

Caitlin sighed with relief, settling into her emotions, she relaxed her forehead on her hand that rested on his chest. _He was fine._ She told herself. _She was fine too._ With all the emotions running through her, she felt as though she could let out a breath.

"Thanks for coming." He whispered.

Caitlin felt his hand shakily on the top of her back, gliding his hand up her back soothing her.

She let herself stay in this moment, even if it were for a second. She allowed herself to be in love.

* * *

 _S.T.A.R Labs*_

Just as that moment came, it she pulled herself together and let that moment pass. _What was she doing?_ She can't allow herself to just fall into his arms. As much as she wanted to. As much as her heart ached to let him hold her, she couldn't. Hell, she hadn't had the time to even process what Barry had told her. Flashpoint. The life they shared together. _What does it even mean? What does it mean for them? Is there even a them?_ Confused and frustrated, she felt a small tug of the cold creep into her system. Distracting herself, Caitlin tried burying herself back into her work.

Staring at her tablet, Caitlin absent-mindedly flicked through Barry's and Cisco's results.

"Barry, you're already healing." She paused. "You should be fine soon." She continued unable to look up at him.

She felt his gaze heavy on her, but the knot in her stomach allowed her to keep Barry at a distance. She needed to sort out whatever was going on inside her before she could even begin processing the thought of allowing herself to be open to the prospect of a future with him, whatever that may look like. So taking a deep breath, she turned to her friend with a warm smile.

"Um, Cisco, the MRI I did of your brain shows changes in the capillary morphology similar to that of a mini-stroke. I wouldn't try an intra-dimensional breach like that anytime soon." she ordered sincerely.

"Okay, okay. Mini-stroke? You can't just gloss over that like that, okay? What does that... what does that mean? Am I gonna have this migraine for the rest of my life?" Cisco shot up straight, his eyes wide as he stammered nervously.

Caitlin laughed as she smiled kindly to her friend. "It means you should take a few aspirin and you'll be fine." she reassured him.

Caitlin continued to laugh as she saw Cisco relax back down, throwing the ice pack back onto his head.

"Oh. Well, just lead with that next time." he mumbled under his breath.

Caitlin shook her head amused. Placing down her tablet, she mouthed to her friend that he should get some rest and she left.

Still feeling on edge, Caitlin needed a moment for both peace and clarity. She needed to carve out the time to really process everything that had unfolded in the last 12 hours. As she moved her way through the lab, her legs leading her towards the roof lost in her own thoughts she didn't even flinch when she felt the warmth of his skin brushing against hers, sliding his and into hers, pulling her around. Spinning on her heels, Caitlin stumbled trying to catch herself from falling, startled when she came merely inches from Barry's face. He stood before her, so close that his body heat radiated to warm her. Looking up from her lashes, she caught a whiff of the cool scent of his after shave. The play on her senses conjuring up memories of the life she once had with him.

In that moment, the world once again stood almost still. The second she was living in dragging on into the next. She drank in all the details, from the warm look in his eyes to the curves of his lips… as her mind kept reminding her of how soft and warm his lips felt on hers. _No._ She needed space. Placing a hand on his chest, she pushed herself away. Shaking away the thoughts she tried to remember how to breathe. _Inhale. Exhale. Repeat._ She told herself.

Barry sensing her unease, let go of her hand and dropped his to his side. Clearing his throat, he brushed a hand through his hair resting it on the back of his neck as he spoke.

"Cait, I know what a risk you took using your powers." He paused, his eyes searching hers.

"Thank you." He whispered sincerely.

"I didn't do anything." She stammered in reply.

"Well, you saved my life." He shrugged.

Caitlin smiled small. "You've saved mine plenty of times." She added.

" _Cait…"_ He whispered softly.

A unspoken silence fell between them. Neither of them speaking. Caitlin didn't know what to say. Caitlin looked back at him, her eyes darting between his searching for something. What… she had no clue. She was as confused as ever.

"I…" he paused.

"Flashpoint… um…" Barry ran his hand back through his hair at a loss for words.

Watching as Barry fumbled for an explanation as to how he could not have told her about ' _them'_ in the other timeline. How he could he could just brush away a whole life they had simply because reality had changed. _Hell…_ she could remember their life. The joy. The love. She may not have known what it all meant until he told her and everything finally came into perspective but she never forgot. She loved him.

 _Ugh._ The sting of betrayal she felt in that moment surged the coldness she'd being fighting to keep buried.

Before she could let him speak she stopped him. "Barry. Stop." She paused "I can't do this right now. Please… just go."

" _Cait…"_ his voice broke.

"Barry…" her voice shook as she dared to look back at him. Her eyes welling with tears.

"Please. I… go." she pleaded, her heart aching with hurt.

She couldn't do this right now. The pain was building inside her chest. The anxiety of her emotions overwhelming her and now as the love of her life stood before her, the betrayal she uncontrollably felt was too powerful she didn't want to say something she'd regret. So he needed to leave.

"Cait we need to talk about this…" he begged making a step towards her.

"No. No we don't." she said firmly, trying hard to fight back the tears.

"Cait. I don't like this." He threw his hands up in frustration.

"You don't like this!" Caitlin shouted.

"Barry do you remember why we're here right now? What event in our lives caused us to have this _very pleasant_ moment we're sharing?" She raised her voice, the hurt fuelling her voice.

"I know... I know… but I don't like this." He voiced loudly.

"Do you think I do!" she yelled back.

"I don't know what you want from me?" she cried.

"I just want to talk!"

"About what?!"

Caitlin felt her body shaking. Her breathing laboured after the mini shouting match they were in. _Why couldn't he just let her be._ She needed space to think about everything. As much as she loved him, she felt just as hurt in this moment. Just looking at him and being reminded of what they used to have no longer existed. And why was he even bringing any of this up? He was still with Iris wasn't he? Exhausted and frustrated, Caitlin felt herself losing a bit of herself. All of this was getting too much.

"I don't know. I just…" he trailed of his voice softening.

"I don't like how things are." He finished, his eyes looking into hers. Soft and apologetic.

"But that's how they are." She said resigned.

"But I didn't want things to turn out this way… it wasn't supposed to be this way."

Caitlin shook her head "What did you expect Barry?!" she paused.

"Look I get it." she breathed out a heavy sigh.

"I get it. If I had the chance to go back and save my dad… You just wanted to save your mom. But right now, I just cant understand how you could leave me? I remember Barry…"

She saw a confused expression fall on his face.

"You went back in time just after I had gone inside and you stayed behind on the porch. I don't get how you could leave _me..._ Barry. And then you come back expecting things to be just as you left them. But they weren't were they. What hurts the most is that _YOU_ remember it all Barry. The life we had. _HOW_ could you just forget it all? Do you even still love me?"

"Cait…"

"You know what… just leave." She breathed heavily as she lifted her hand signalling him this was over.

"I can't." he shook his head in denial.

"Can't you understand? I can't talk to you because talking to you really HURTS. Standing here right now is KILLING me okay! Can't you understand that?!" She yelled her voice breaking as she spoke.

This time she couldn't hold back her tears. Warm streaks of water fell from her eyes. The pain in her heart amplified tenfold as she saw the same pain mirrored in her eyes.

Barry falling silent but un-moving, Caitlin mustered the little control she had and turned her back and left. Finding her way back into the cortex, Caitlin lost control of herself, her eyes turning an icy white. Taking a deep breath, Caitlin struggled but reigned herself back in check. Her brown eyes returning. With a sigh of relief, she fell into her chair, resting her head in her hands. Her mind racing, Caitlin heard Joe talking to Barry just within ear shot out in the hall. They had found someone in custody that could lead them to Alchemy.

Pushing back out of her chair, she gathered her jacket set in her destination. With her life in total chaos, she figured if she couldn't deal with her thing with Barry, maybe she could try fixing herself and by finding Alchemy and ridding herself from her powers and maybe, just maybe the memories of her past life that happened to show when she used her powers would go to.

* * *

* _Closed Frozen Food Warehouse*_

"Bit Chilly in here, isn't it?" Julian stuttered through his teeth.

"Shut up!" she ordered as she began to pace.

"I need to think." Her voice low as she mumbled to herself.

 _What was she doing?_ She asked herself. This wasn't her. She was crazy to think this could work. But right now she was desperate. _GOD!_ She just wanted all of this to go away. Her powers… the heartache. All of it to go.

"Look. I know who you are, okay? You're... you're... you're Allen's friend, right? Dr. Snow?"

"I said be quiet!" she bit back more firmly. His incessant pleas not helping, she just needed to think.

"Are you going to kill me?" his voice shook.

Caitlin stopped pacing, turning her body to face him. Her eyes now a pulsing tint of crystal white gleaming in his direction.

"I need to find Alchemy." She stated firmly.

"Alchemy? What? What do you want me to do?"

"Alchemy has disciples, followers. I need you to create an algorithm that will allow you to locate anyone who has searched for a specific keyword in the last six months. If we find one of his followers, they can take me to Alchemy."

If Alchemy could give people power, he could take away hers. She was at her wits end. The one person that would have had the answers to help her had none. Her mother, the smartest woman she knew couldn't help her and none of her test proved valuable to helping her find a cure for the coldness growing inside her. She couldn't control it. She felt it getting worse. Slowly taking over. She just wanted it to go away.

"Okay. But "alchemy" is a relatively common phrase. It'll have hundreds of hits."

"Then search for an uncommon one." She pressed.

"Such as?"

"Savitar."

"Savitar?" he asked a little bit surprised.

Caitlin stepped forward, her demeanour a little threatening. "Get searching."

* * *

 ** _Barry's POV_**

* _S.T.A.R Labs*_

Barry felt as if his heart was in his throat. Unable to swallow the truth. _What was she doing?_ He knew that they didn't leave things in the best position earlier. But this didn't seem like her. He couldn't help but feel as if this were all his fault. All he wanted to do was to make everything the way they were. He couldn't live in the world of Flashpoint if Caitlin wasn't there. So he made the choice to come back. Yet, as he stared at the computer screen watching Caitlin kidnap Julian over again he couldn't help but think he had royally screwed up and lost her already. _No!_ _Snap out of it_. He thought as he shook his head. _No._ there was still hope. As long as he still loved her he would do anything to save and protect her.

"So, they don't know why she took Julian?" Cisco pressed Barry concern plastered all over his face.

"No, they don't." Barry replied with a shake of his hand.

"But more importantly, they don't even know that it's Caitlin yet, so we need to find her before they do." He added as he his hands through his hair anxiously.

 _How were they going to find her?_ Cisco and Caitlin were the brains of this team. Hell, just like Barry was, Cisco was out of his mind drawing a blank on how to find her. What they needed was her.

"Savitar. Now, what about this Savitar..." HR piped up, his voice seemingly echoing through the strained silence in the room.

"We find Caitlin." Barry noted with authority.

"Then we can worry about Savitar." He continued.

"You know what, guys? I'm... I agree with Barry. Let's find Caitlin. Okay. You're right." HR stammered as he saw Barry glare his way.

"And when we find Caitlin, then what?" Iris asked.

"I don't know. I mean, she's not thinking straight." Barry mumbled under his breath.

"She's... She's becoming Killer Frost." He finished.

He knew that they're last conversation had her spinning, not to add the fact that he knew that her saving him was the result in why she was like this. Again, it was his fault that she took that risk. _Fuck!_

"It's just like in the Vibe." Cisco gaped.

"We don't know that yet."

Cisco fell back in his chair, despair on his face, as he was consumed with a sense of guilt. He too knew the risk of her using her powers and he didn't help stop her from using them.

"Her mother said the more that she uses her powers, the faster she's gonna go." Cisco whispered under his breath.

"And saving you from Savitar... that must have put her over the edge." Iris concluded.

"How do we find her?" Barry pushed. That was the only answer he needed answered. And he needed it now.

"I don't know. I tried pinging her cell and Julian's, but she must have ditched them both."

"Ahem! If I may proffer a notion..." HR stepped forward, with a drumstick raised.

"Oh, great. More suggestions from the genius over here." Cisco commented.

"You don't call the genius. The genius calls you." HR replied with a small curtsey and a wink towards Cisco.

Barry shook his head, they didn't need this. They needed to figure out a way to help her. Pacing up and down, he tried focusing on ideas, but it proved fruitless as he just couldn't seem to think on anything longer than a second before his mind just drifted back to her. The way she looked at him, tears streaming down her cheek, begging him to leave. It took everything it had in him not to grab her in his arms and just hold her. Instead as she looked at him, fighting the urge and his instincts grounded him to where he stood. So instead, he had to watch her turn her leave.

"Question: how did you catch your Captain Cold?" HR proposed.

"I've been reading about him in your files. Seems like a wily fellow. Slow talker. But his MO... strikingly similar to our dear Caitlin's."

"What?" Barry asked confused, suddenly drawing back into the conversation.

"No. We tracked him using the satellite to scan for ultraviolet cold signatures." Barry stated, stopping his pacing his attention facing the group.

"Got it!" Cisco bellowed with excitement.

 _What?_ Barry had realised that HR was right and Cisco had jumped on his idea and traced Captain Cold like signatures throughout the city to find a location.

"And…" Barry asked anxiously, stepping closer and peering over the desk angling himself to get a look at the screen.

"No. Nothing near the precinct. But at the Frozen food warehouse." Cisco smiled as he pointed to flashing red beacon on the screen.

"There she is." Barry whispered under his breath.

"Okay, I'm gonna isolate the feed so that no one else can see it." he said as he began keying away on the keyboard.

"All right, figure out what she's making Julian do. I'm going." Barry said before leaving.

"Okay." He heard them say in unison, just as he flashed out of there.

* * *

 ** _Caitlin's POV_**

Caitlin continued to pace, an internal struggle still raging on inside her heart and mind. She couldn't seem to get a handle on either side. She felt as if she were going crazy. The pull to the coldness growing stronger. The need to give in to it slowly consuming her. Yet, she was still herself. She had the clarity of her own thoughts and she knew that she was running out of time. She need to find Alchemy before it was too late. She didn't want to have to leave her friends or her loved ones. Even though it was complicated with Barry she didn't want to have to leave him. If she could probably get rid of her powers and maybe the memories of the two of them, her feelings might go away and get rid of this heartache.

"I found two individuals that have searched for the name Savitar." Julian's voice broke through the stale silence of the warehouse.

Caitlin stopped pacing, moving over towards him, her eyes still an icy white glaring at him as if threatening to hurt him if he as so much made an attempt to attack her. Seeing the warning in her eyes, she saw him take a step back as she approached the laptop.

"Here are both their addresses, both of them in Central City. What exactly are you gonna do to them?" he indicated pointing to the two highlighted names on the screen.

Caitlin read the names and addresses before replying. "I don't know."

Backing away, Caitlin turned away from Julian. _What was she going to do?_ _What was she even doing now._ In the mist of her questioning herself and her morals, she felt herself gain a bit of her old self flickering back in her eyes. That same warm brown that she remembered.

But just as quickly as it came, the buzzing of a cellphone behind her, defensively brought back the coldness.

"Son of a - " she swore as she held up her hand ready to shatter the phone in his hand.

"What part of "I'll freeze you to death" did you not understand?" Julian looked up, fear in his eyes as she stood in front of him her eyes glowing even more clearer, her hands frosting over in ice.

Before she could make any rash movements, a familiar glow of yellow lightening streaked across her vision.

"Stop." Barry shouted, flashing before her eyes.

He stood defensively in between Julian and herself, his hand raised pleading with her.

"Get out of here." she gritted through her teeth.

Barry stood there shaking his head. "You know I can't."

Caitlin's jaw tensed. _Why couldn't he just leave her alone._

"What are you doing? Take her out. Take her out." he heard Julian's scared voice behind him.

Barry just ignored him, his eyes never wavering from hers. "You don't want to do this. You don't want to hurt anybody."

"She's willing to hurt someone. Knock her out-"

Before Julian could finish shouting, Barry had used his speed, knocking him silent.

"Caitlin..." his voice was soft.

The sound of his voice calling out her name, tugged at her heart.

"Leave me alone." she said flatly.

A surge of her emotions she felt for him overwhelming her. She fought to keep focus.

"What are you doing?"

Caitlin watched as he tried taking a step forward toward her. She saw what he was doing.

"Stop." She said raising her hand stopping him in his tracks. "I have to find Alchemy."

"We will find him. All right?" he paused " _Together._ "

She hated that the emphasis in that word seemed to hold so much promise and more meaning when he said it. _But did he mean it?_

"No. You don't understand. I don't want to lock him up. I need him to help me." her voice echoed with desperation.

"Help you what?"

Caitlin saw the confusion in his face even though half hidden behind his mask, she knew him too well. The way that his brows were probably pulled together confused.

"I need him to get rid of my powers!" she shouted, the desperation edged in her voice.

"I want to forget..." she added, her voice trailing off.

 _She knew he knew what she meant._ She wasn't sure but she thought she could see a glint of pain behind his eyes. She shook away the thought. That didn't hurt him because he didn't love her. He was with Iris.

" _Forget_?"

"Yes. Don't pretend. I want to forget these memories... of you and me... the life we had before. They started when my i got my powers. If I get rid of them, maybe they can get rid of the images. Maybe it can just stop hurting." Her breathing ragged, she hadn't realised she had been yelling.

She saw as Barry stared back at her with a sorrowful look. Before he had a chance to say something she continued.

"I want to forget. Because it hurts... it hurts so much. I just - I don't understand and as much as I wish things were different, I know they aren't so I want to forget okay?" she said on the verge of tears.

"I don't know if it works that way." he said softly, his voice breaking as he watched her reality seemingly shatter into pieces.

"You don't know that it doesn't!"

As they stood there, Caitlin couldn't handle it anymore. She needed to get out of here. She needed to find one of the people in connection with Alchemy. Barry probably sensing her urge to leave, moved forward fast, closing the distance so he was standing in front of her. He didn't hesitate and she didn't stop him him when he reached out to cradle her head between his hands.

She saw as he stared deep into her eyes, willing her to come back to him.

"All I know is that we love you. And we will do everything that we can to help you. You and I... we've been through too much together to let each other down now. Please. Let me help you." He paused for a beat,

"Please I love you." He whispered so low that only she could hear.

She wasn't sure what happened, it could have been the look in his eyes. But in that moment a part of her thawed. The way his eyes searched hers for something familiar, she knew in that instant that her feelings for him we're undeniably true and for a moment the rest of the world and all their problems faded away. Things seemed less complicated. It was just the two of them. And when he said she loved her for a fraction of a second she could almost believe it. That was until she heard the subtle hum of the electronic earpiece in his mask.

And just as quickly as that feeling came, the cold inside her froze it over. This was all a game to get her back. Suddenly all the hurt and frustration plagued her. Its as if they manifested into an anger. She felt manipulated and pathetic for believing in the words he couldn't even say out loud. Instead they hummed as a whisper in attempt to sway her. She didn't know what hurt the most. Her mind clouded with ice and fear, Caitlin broke away swatting away his hands taking a step back from him.

"Like you helped your mother?" she spat out.

This time the pain in Barry's eyes didn't fade. "Caitlin." he whispered her name.

Before she could stop herself she said "Or Wally? Or me?"

"You keep messing with everyone's lives, wrecking everything, and we're left behind to pick up the pieces from your mistakes. Some things you break can't be put back together." she yelled, feeling the reality of her would come crashing down around her.

At this point, she felt there was no going back. If he didn't really love her she really need to forget everything. She needed to forget him.

"I can fix this." he pleaded with her.

Caitlin shook her head in disbelief. "Oh, like you fixed Cisco's family?" she paused.

Knowing that the team were listening in, she focused on to one of the cameras in the room.

"You didn't tell Cisco that you screwed him worst of all, did you? You hear that, Cisco? Dante was alive, healthy and happy, until Barry created Flashpoint. When he reset things, that's what killed him. Barry is the reason your brother is dead."

Before Caitlin could say anymore, the subtle noises of guns clicking distracted both her and Barry.

"Albert's down!" the Detective yelled.

"Shoot her!" he ordered.

Just as the rain of gunfire cried out in between the frozen walls, she felt Barry's arms curl around her hurdling them out of the way and around the corner in the shield of wooden boxes.

Caitlin knelt behind Barry, who seemed unaware of her movements. She knew that if she didn't slow him down he was going to stop her. She needed a head start. Her jaw grew tense. As much as she was hurting, she didn't like the thought of what she had to do next. But knew this was the only way to stop the heartache and disappointment.

With him distracted by the shouts of searches, Caitlin moulded and icicle and stabbed him in the back of the leg.

"That severed your triceps surae."

Barry screamed in pain, heeding over onto his hands.

"Even with your healing abilities, it'll take four hours to regenerate. Don't follow me." she threatened as she stepped out of the safety and into the shadows away.

Deep down she felt sick to her core for what she just did. But she justified the need and kept on moving. With the subtle shouts of his voice calling out to her.

 _"Caitlin..."_

* * *

 ** _Barry's POV_**

* _Back at S.T.A.R Labs*_

It had taken Barry over an hour to get back to S.T.A.R Labs. Once he managed to pull out the dagger from his legs, he managed to speed into a nearby alley, mis-stepping into a pile of rubbish as he felt the pain shoot through his leg. Unable to move much further with out agony, he had to wait until the team were able to get to him.

Barry couldn't shake the look in Caitlin's eyes. The icy white that bore into his soul, the desperation that lingered for clarity and freedom. Freedom from him. _How did things get so messed up?_ There was a moment he thought he had gotten through to her. He saw the change. He saw his Caitlin return. He soft brown eyes that he had fallen in love with, begged him to save her. But then something in that same second changed. The hurt he had caused and frozen her back over. _Fuck!_ he screamed at himself in frustration.

"How much does it hurt?" Iris asked concerned as she finished wrapping the last layer of bandage around his lower leg.

"As much as I deserve." he mumbled under his breath, wincing as he managed to try and support his weight on his leg.

"Okay. Let me know."

Barry nodded. Hobbling out of the med bay, Barry pushed past the pain and into the cortex. He caught Cisco hidden behind his desk. Barry swallowed hard.

"They took Julian to County General. He's still out cold. How hard did you hit him?" Joe noted before asking with a small smirk.

"I don't know. I didn't mean to knock him out. Or maybe I did." he shrugged, his eyes still on Cisco who seemed to be doing everything in his power to ignore him.

"Cisco." Barry's voice seemed unsure.

"Hey, man, um, what Caitlin said..."

"Was she lying?" he cut him off before he could finish.

"No. Um..." he sighed apologetically.

"I'm sorry."

"You're sorry?!" Cisco exclaimed

"You're sorry that you killed my brother? 'Cause he was here. He was alive... until you created Flashpoint, until you did this." His voice bellowed.

Everyone in the room grew silent. Barry could hear his own heart beat hard and fast.

"I know, man." his voice was soft and pleading.

Cisco threw his hands up stopping him. "I don't even know how to feel right now. All I know is Caitlin is out there, and we need to find her. Can we do that?"

Barry nodded. All of his past sins were catching up to him and right now all he could do was try to fix one broken relationship at a time. And right now Caitlin needed him more.

"Yeah."

"I hacked Julian's computer. Caitlin had him look up two addresses: 16 Hawthorne Avenue and 1104 Truman Place. She's trying to find the acolytes, I was trying to say."

"What exactly would she want with Alchemy's followers?" Joe nervously voiced unsure of how to navigate the tension in the room.

"She must think that he can take her to Alchemy. She wants him to take her powers away." Barry added having remembered why Caitlin wanted her powers taken away.

He remembered that she wanted her memories to hopefully leave and with that her feelings for him.

"We know. We heard everything." Iris replied.

Barry looked at her. _Shit._ She probably knew that he was in love with Caitlin. Barry felt as if he were seeing all the relationships he held most dear start crumbling around him and there was nothing he could do to save them but to watch them burn. The feeling made him sick to his stomach.

"Well, two acolytes, two addresses. Which one's she gonna hit first?" Joe asked.

"We got to watch both." Barry stated.

"You're gonna stay here. You can barely walk." Cisco said to him flatly, his face stern as he turned to grab his coat.

"I'll take Hawthorne." Cisco said before walking away.

"I'll take Truman." HR volunteered.

Barry hunched over the desk trying to pull his weight of his leg. _If only he could heal faster._

Joe came close, "Look, I care about Caitlin, but I don't want to leave Wally."

Before Barry could argue, that he would watch over him since he couldn't walk, Iris interrupted.

"Dad, Barry and I will stay with Wally. You go with H.R."

"Oh, yeah, I would love that." HR replied giddy with excitement. "Hey, you and me... all-star team, huh?"

Joe shook his head.

"All right, you know what? I'll make a couple cappuccinos for the road, right, so we're ready for tonight's adventures. Hey, not to worry, Barry." HR smiled as he departed with a sturdy slap on his shoulder.

"Right. We'll help her." Cisco added as he re-entered the room forgetting something.

"Cisco..." Barry began.

"If you find her... I won't call you. You've done enough."

* * *

 _ **TO BE CONTINUED...**_

 _ **PART II COMING SOON.**_


	8. 3 Episode 7 Frost Part II

_**Hope everyone had a lovely Easter. Here's Part II as promised.**_

 _ **Stay tuned for more chapters coming soon.**_

 _ **Disclaimer: I do not own the Flash nor their characters.**_

* * *

 ** _Caitlin's POV_**

 _*Hawthorne Residence*_

As Caitlin pinned him to the wall, she stared at him with her icy eyes. He quivered under her touch, not because he was scared but because of the coldness radiating off her bare skin seeping into his.

"Who is Alchemy?" she demanded.

"I don't know. I've never seen him without the mask." his voice shook.

Caitlin's jaw tensed. That wasn't the answer she was hoping for. _Shit._

"I know he can give people powers. Can he take them away?"

"Yes." he managed to choke out.

"But you can't make Alchemy do anything. He's just an acolyte, like me. We both serve the speed god, Savitar." he praised.

"He's shown us the future. I saw you there." he paused with a smirk.

Caitlin remained speechless. _What on Earth was he talking about?_

"You were glorious and powerful... My lord has special plans for you, Caitlin Snow."

Startled Caitlin took a few steps back. _How did he know her name?_

"Or should I say... Killer Frost?" he smiled.

Shaken, Caitlin didn't know what to do. This acolyte knew more than he was letting on. She needed to where Alchemy was. She was right, he could take away her powers. Before she could interrogate him any further, she heard the distant cries of her name.

"Caitlin!" Cisco called out to her again.

Leaving the Hawthorne unconscious on his kitchen floor, she came out to confront her friend. Caitlin stepped out into the rain, welcoming the damp cold unaffected.

"Really? You brought your toys?" she noted coming to a stop in the middle of the deserted street.

"I'm hoping it won't come to that." he called back.

"It won't." She whispered before pushing forth her hands with an icy blast in his direction.

She watched him carefully as he dodged her attack, spinning behind a car for coverage.

"Look, I'm not leaving you out here. I want to help you." he shouted back.

"Like you helped me by sending me out to use my powers. Even though you knew what it would do to me. Well look where we are now Cisco!" she bellowed out quiet street.

"There's only one person who can help me." she mumbled under her breath before trying land another attack his way.

Cisco shot back defending himself, Caitlin barely just missing his vibe wave.

"Really? You really think seeking medical advice from someone named Dr. Alchemy is the way to go?" he breathed out heavily.

"Why not? My name is Killer Frost." she smirked.

"Your name... is Caitlin Snow!" he reminded her.

"Can Caitlin Snow do this?" she panted as she blasted another wave of ice his way.

Cisco jumped out of the way. "Caitlin, please!" he beamed with a another wave of power.

Just as Caitlin threw out another attack, coating the road with slick ice,

She saw a streak of lightning push Cisco out of the way, before skidding across the road, sliding to a stop beneath her.

"How's the leg?" she leered as she looked down at Barry.

Barry spun his leg, sweeping her to the ground her landing beside him with and ungraceful thud.

"I'm sorry, Caitlin." he huffed out as he lay in pain beside her.

"That was cold, Flash. But this is colder."

Before she even knew what she was doing, her icy instinct took over, Caitlin found herself straddling Barry, her lips locking his. Her lips encased his in a rough kiss. Before she could feel him fight against her. His eyes open, but as she pinned him down with her body, she felt him slowly give into her. His lips responded kissing her back. A mix of emotions coursed though her. As much as she wanted to stay in this moment, she realised he was her to stop her, and as her lips moved with his, her coldness began to seep into his skin. Just as she parted their lips, she felt a warm sensation push her aside and then everything came into darkness.

* * *

* _Pipeline*_

The darkness surrounded her still. Heavy over her eyes as she fought for consciousness. Fragments of voices spoke in the darkness. Everyone's voices were layered over the one another. " _I love you" - Barry... "You're name is Caitlin Snow" - Cisco... "My lord has special plans for you... killer frost..." - alcolyte._ Their words echoed over and over, ringing out in her head in a continuous loop. That's until those voices began saying something new. And that's when she realised those voices that they were real. She could hear the low mumbles of Barry, Cisco, Joe, HR and Iris in the distance. Trying to shake away the haze, Caitlin began to open her eyes, blinking several times as they tries to accumulate to her surroundings. The walls closed in around her. It was cold and hard as she lay on the floor. She knew where she was. _The pipeline_. _Cute_. She thought to herself as she pulled herself up off the cell floor and plastered on a smile.

"Whew. Guess I just needed a little sleep." she smirked as she pulled at her clothing, adjusting them back to normal. "Thanks, guys. I'm feeling much better now." she paused, looking at the eyes fixated on her through the glass. "It's okay. You can let me out. I promise I'm not gonna hurt anybody." she smiled her hands drawn up innocently.

She watched her friends intently. Their expressions serious and grim. None of them showing any flicker of wavering determination.

"Hmm. Guess you're all smarter than I thought." she shrugged.

"You know, that was some blast there, Vibe boy. It kind of hurt."

"I didn't want to hurt you." he replied his voice low and solemn.

"You're pathetic." she said without blinking.

She tore her eyes away from her best friend. The hurt in his expression annoying her as it tugged on her humanity. Her eyes flickered away landing on Barry. _Barry._ The man who ignorantly broke her. _How could he stand there pretending to care. How could he stand there looking at her like he loved her when the woman he was in love with stood a few feet away from him?_ The ignorance boiled in her as her eyes stayed on him.

"Alchemy can't help you." he paused. "But we can. I promise."

Caitlin huffed out an air of disbelief. _Really?_

She narrowed her eyes as she spoke. "Oh, like you promised _Eddie_? And like you promised _Ronnie_?"

As she spat out daggers she saw Barry flinch. His unreadable expression begin to break under her words.

"You know, for a hero, Flash, you sure let a lot of people around you die." she retorted.

"This isn't you talking. It's the powers. They're messing with your mind. You're sick." he said shaking his head.

 _I'm sick?! I'M SICK?! How dare he?_ He did this too her. He was the reason this was happening to her. Her mind was in a mess because of him. Because he created flash point. The more she used her powers the more her mind slipped back into the life she had. The more she used her powers the more she slipped back into the hurt of the memories that he had left her... that he choose to forget that _good_ life they had. To forget her and left her remember. She wasn't sick. _No._ She was hurt. Her heart shattered. Her reality destroyed. _No._ She was broken.

"I'm broken, Barry!" she spat back, the rage and hurt fulling her heart.

"But what do you care? 'Cause you've got Iris." she huffed out, her breathing becoming ragged as she spoke. "You got your happy ending. Everyone else be damned!"

 _Right Barry?! Everyone else be damned._ As she looked at him, her eyes burning a icy white, she felt the hurt of knowing in just as broken as she felt, god be damned she still loved him. And that thought killed her even more as she stood there, him watching her, her watching him. In that moment. All she wanted to do was disappear. To restart. Get away, because if she didn't leave, she would really lose herself and not to her powers but to the hurt and anger of her love for him.

"So, I'll tell you what: you guys let me go, and I will leave you to your sad and miserable lives." she said resigned. Backing away, her head bowing in defeat.

She was just tired. She just wanted them to leave her alone. She wanted to stop pretending.

"No." Barry said firmly.

Caitlin shot her head back up. _What?! Couldn't he just leave her be?_ She was just exhausted. Her heart and mind was in a constant state of confusion and anxiety since she got her powers. She was tired. She just wanted all of this to be over. And after everything she's done... everything she now knew, he must know what this was doing to her. Yet, he was still fighting this.

 _"_ We're not abandoning you." he promised.

"YOU DID THIS TO ME!" she shouted, her voice strained as she pointed to him knowingly.

In that moment, she his tense expression falter. His eyes showing a glint of guilt. Be he didn't say anything. Instead he closed the door. Un-moving, his eyes glued to hers, she stared into his until the doors closed and all she could see was her own reflection staring back into her haunted white eyes.

 _You did this to me!_ She whispered to herself.

* * *

 ** _Barry's POV_**

* _Speed Lab*_

Barry threw his fist into the nearest wall. _FUCK!_ he swore as the concrete broke under his punch. Barry pulled his hand away shaking the pain shooting through his knuckles.

 _YOU DID THIS TO ME!_ He words stung him, burning into his memory. The look in her eyes haunted him. The way she spoke so broken. She was right. It was his fault and he knew it. He tried doing everything to make it right and he just seemed to just keep screwing it all up. What stung him deep, was the fact that she still thought he was with Iris. He just hadn't seemed to find the right time to tell her that they were no longer together and that he was in love with her. And when he thought that they were in a good place, her powers... Wally... Savitar... Alchemy... it all exploded. It felt as if he were continuously running just to catch up but forever lagging behind his own mistakes. Frustrated, he sat down resigned in himself, throwing his hands in his hair as his head hovered over his bent knees.

Breathing heavy, Barry stretched his neck up at the sound of footsteps entering the lab.

"What are you doing down here?" he whispered turning his head away.

"I know we haven't spoken much since we broke up... I'm still here for you Barry. I just wanted to help. Even before all this happened I wanted to I wanted to be here when we should have all been working to find Alchemy and Savitar and figure out how to stop them."

Barry snorted. "Instead, we're fighting each other."

"Yeah. Team Flash is not at its finest." she agreed, now standing in front of him.

"Why didn't I just follow her inside the house?" he shook his head regretfully.

"You're talking about Caitlin right?"

Barry shot his head up looking at her. He had forgotten that not everyone knew of life pre flash point. Registering the look in her eyes of understanding, she knelt in front of him so they were eye level.

"Look, I know you didn't mean to hurt me. But I noticed the way you looked at her tonight. And I knew. I don't know why you didn't follow her back into the house but I know it was because you were hurting. You would do anything to make the pain go away."

Barry closed his eyes. Remembering the hollowness and aching feeling he felt before he made the agonising feeling to go back in time and save his mom.

"That's why Caitlin is so lost." she continued explaining.

"And Cisco. We will do anything to make the pain stop." she paused. Her eyes soft and understanding as she continued to look at him. "That doesn't make you a bad person. That makes you human."

'Tell that to my friends." Barry's voice trembled. "My _best friends..." he emphasised._

"The one I love is locked up like a villain; the other one hates me..." he laughed to himself. _Both of them hate him._

"You can not take this all on yourself."

"Why not?" he shrugged defeated.

"How do you know that Caitlin wasn't already affected by the accelerator explosion?, or that Dante wouldn't have died in a car accident anyway? You are not God, Barry."

"That's what Jay said." he smiled at her. _How he missed his best friend._

"Jay's a smart man." she agreed with a smile. "You can not keep doing this to yourself, constantly going over the what-ifs. You'll go nuts. Everyone in this building needs The Flash right now: my dad, Wally... even Cisco and Caitlin. So, be strong like I know you are. I know you don't want to be the leader right now, but you have to be." she encouraged confidently.

"I don't know how I can do this without her." his voice broke.

"And you'll never have to. Not as long as she's here, there's hope for us to save her." she said placing a hand over his.

Barry smiled genuinely back at her. He may not be in love with her, but Barry Allen will always love Iris West. His best friend.

"Thank you." he whispered.

"For what?"

"For being you. Self-less and always there for me."

"What are best friends for?!" she laughed punching him lightly in the shoulder.

The corners of Barry's lips pulled higher into a smile. Just as he pulled them off the ground, a loud sound startled him into action.

Barry sped, both himself and Iris to the centre of the shattering noise. Skidding to a stop, the cortex, flickered with sparks of electrity crackling, the roof caved in, rubble of concrete broken around them. Shattered glass sprinkled the floor.

"Joe?" Barry moved to his adopted father concerned.

"What did I do?" he whispered his voice hollow. Barry stared at his father frozen. Following his line of sight, Barry's heart thumped as he saw an empty case in the centre of the room. Wally was gone.

Barry stepped over to take a closer look.

"Was this your idea?" he pointed at HR

"No. Joe... I was helping Joe." HR stammered, a bit in shock.

Cisco was immediately dusting off a keyboard trying to use a computer luckily to not have been damaged by the chaos around them.

"No sign of Wally. I've got the satellite scanning the entire city for rapid movement."

"If he's a speedster, he could be halfway across the country by now." Iris noted.

"Barry, we have to find him." Joe pleaded with him, his eyes brimmed with tears.

Barry had his hands in his hair once again. "I'm more worried about what happens when we do find him. He didn't seem like he was all there."

"I shouldn't have cut him out of that thing." Joe cried.

"Joe, I... what we need right now is a biochemist." Barry suggested. _Shit. This couldn't be happening right now._ How could things keep getting worse. He cursed to himself.

"You've got to go talk to her, Barr." Joe pleaded.

Barry's jaw tightened. She was the only one that could save Wally, but he didn't know how to get her back. How to his Caitlin back. She hated him. _What was he going to do?_

"All right." he exhaled deeply.

* * *

* _Pipeline*_

Barry stood in front of the door. His mind thinking of what to say. The last few conversations they had didn't seem to go over so well. If he was to get her back, he had to lay it all on the line. He had to open up his heart and soul. He knew everyone else was watching, Iris knew the truth... now he didn't care who else did. He loved her. He still did. He would die trying to save her.

With a few strokes of the keys, the door that separated them broke open, revealing Caitlin, slowly lifting her head to see him. She seemed a little surprised by the sight of him. Swallowing hard, Barry stepped forward so he were inches from the glass.

"We need your help, Caitlin." he paused, his eyes searching hers. "Wally... he's... he's out of the cocoon, but his biochemistry is all out of whack. He went AWOL." he explained.

"So?" she shrugged.

"So, when we find him, he's gonna need your help. He's gonna need your medical expertise, your experience with metas. What he needs is Caitlin Snow, MD." he emphasised.

"So, you came to try and talk some sense into me?" she smirked.

Barry shook his head. "No. I came to let you go." Turning around he went back to the tablet on the wall. Unlocking her cell. A small gust of wind and the doors cascaded open. Barry stepped in the center.

He watched as Caitlin hesitated. Her eyes squinting, looking at him unsure. Barry didn't move.

"For a smart guy, that was an awfully dumb move." she smiled, taking a careful step to freedom.

"Like I said, you're free to go." he whispered.

Barry stood his ground as Caitlin closed the distance between them. Standing in front of him, she didn't take her eyes off him.

"What's the catch?" she asked with tilt of her head.

Barry tensed his jaw. "You have to kill me."

He saw her flinch. A flicker of brown in her eyes reappearing and disappearing.

"You want to fight, Flash?"

"No." he shook his head.

"I'm not gonna fight you. But if you want to leave this room, you're gonna have to kill me." he urged her.

"Don't think I won't." she said her voice breaking.

"Then do it." he dared as he leaned in closer.

From the corner of his eyes, he saw as her hear hand started to produce another dagger of ice. He waited. His eyes never leaving hers. She felt as the sharp tip of the icicle dug into his shoulder.

"What are you waiting for?"

He noticed as she shifted her weight, her eyes flickering from his eyes to the dagger in her hand unsure.

"What's the big deal? Come on. Live up to your name, Killer Frost!" he dared. "I want to see some killing. You want to be the villain? This is what they do. They kill their friends, because nothing matters to them anymore, right? Right?!" his voiced loudly

"Come on. Kill me, Caitlin!" his voice stern, as his hand curled around her wrist, holding her hand firmly against his chest. His eyes burning with intensity.

He could see her faltering, he could see in her eyes as she seemed to be fighting an unknown war inside herself.

"You can't do it." he paused.

"You can't, because underneath all that cold, you're still you." his voice trailed.

Pulling on her tightly he leaned in closer so he was sure she heard him. "You can't because I love you..." Pulling back he looked into her eyes. "And you love me."

As he let his words linger, her eyes grew soft, the colour of soft brown returning.

He let her wrist go, the dagger shattering on the floor beside them.

Caitlin exhaled deeply.

"Barry." she whispered his name exhausted.

Barry wrapped his arms around her tightly as she began to cry into his shoulder. He felt her weight sink into him as her body relaxed from exhaustion.

"It's okay. I got you. It's okay." he whispered in her hair as he cradle the back of her head.

"I got you."

* * *

 ** _Caitlin's POV_**

Caitlin let the water run over her body. She relaxed as the heat cascaded over her skin, welcoming the warmth as she sank to the ground exhausted. Her legs tucked under her chin, Caitlin felt her body begin to shake as she began to cry.

She couldn't believe what she had done. How she gave herself over to the hurt and anger burning within her. She knew that part of her still lingered in somewhere in her. She had hurt her friends. As she sat on the tiled floor, she broke down. All she wanted was for all of it to go away. She still did. She felt sick knowing that she had hurt her friends in order to fix herself. She was selfish. But when she heard him say that he loved her and he knew she loved him, something resonated in her. That feeling of warmth she saw in his eyes brought her back enough to fight the iciness in her. She still didn't know what it all meant, but the fact that he was willing to die for her showed her that he did love her. Even though she thought he was lying. He really did love her. Biting down on her lip, she tried focusing on pulling herself back together before stepping out of the shower.

* _Speed Lab*_

 _"Damn...How fast is he going?...Faster than Barry could at the beginning."_ She heard their voices as laughing as she entered the room.

When she came into view, her hair still damp, she uneasily walked up to her friends. She hesitated as they watched her carefully.

"I, uh... I just wanted to..." she mumbled, looking at her knotted hands. Her heart pounding in her chest as she tried to find the right words in how to start apologizing.

"It's okay. You scared me for a second, getting all Mother of Dragons on me with that hair." Cisco laughed as he took her in his arms for a hug.

Caitlin felt her eyes welling up as Cisco pulled her in just a little more tightly.

Pulling away, she discretely wiped at her eyes.

"Thank you." Joe whispered in her ear as he was the next to embrace her.

Caitlin felt an overwhelming surge of relief in her chest. She didn't expect them to forgive her so easily. But here they were by her side even though she had lost herself in the worst possible way. The thought of her family as she looked at them watching Wally in awe brought a smile to her face.

"That is the greatest feeling I've ever felt. Barry, it's unreal." he bellowed out, a large grin spread across his face.

"Yeah, it is." Barry nodded in agreement.

"How fast was I going?" he exhaled.

"Too fast." Joe laughed.

"Dad, don't look so worried. I'm fine. I feel fine. In fact, I feel kind of awesome, like everything is buzzing, electric, like I could do anything." Wally reassured his father.

"That is what it feels like. Got the Speed Force coursing through you... giving you power. You're a speedster now." Barry smiled, patting Wally on the back.

"Cool. Um, so, what next?" Wally piped up eagerly.

Everyone in the room broke out into laughter.

"Um, Caitlin is gonna run every test she can think of on you. I mean, if you're up for it." Joe suggested warmly.

Caitlin's eyes softened. "Being a doctor? That, I'm always up for."

"Yeah, um, but when do I get to go out, Barry, with you?"

Caitlin watched Barry intently, he seemed a little bit more relaxed than he had in the last few days she had seen him. _Including her losing herself etc._

"Uh... Okay, let's just take it one normal-speed step at a time." he suggested.

Wally shrugged and tore back onto the speed track.

As they continued to watch Wally flash around the course, a buzzing sound pulled everyone's attention towards Joe.

"Barr, it's the hospital. Julian's awake."

Caitlin froze. Her face ashening as she thought about what she had done. "He knows it was me. He knows what I did." she said her voice breaking nervously.

 _What was she going to do_? Caitlin stared blankly ahead, losing her mind to the worst case scenarios. _She was going to have to leave._ She thought. Caitlin felt her pulse begin to race as the panic began to set in. She blinked as she felt Barry's hands rest on her shoulders, pulling her out of her thoughts.

"Don't worry. I'll talk to him. You'll be fine. I promise." he assured her with a gentle squeeze.

Caitlin knew that by the look in his eyes she was going to be okay and she felt her body relax. She nodded with a heavy sigh.

"I promise." he whispered again before leaving for the hospital.

* * *

 ** _Barry's POV_**

As Barry threw the last of his things in the small box, he stopped by the metal doors of the lab he called home for the last few years. _This is where it all began..._ he thought to himself. He took one more look around the room. He was going to miss this. But as he took in the familiar surroundings for the time he turned around without any regrets. If he were to make the decision over and over again, he would always choose Caitlin.

* * *

 _*Caitlin's apartment*_

He didn't know how he got here. He left the lab and the first and last thought was of her. He knew that they still had things to sort out. After everything that had happened, his conversation with Iris lingered with him. He had to stop running from all the mistakes he had created and the fact that they were both still here meant there was still hope.

Nervously standing at her door, he held his hand high, taking a deep breath he began too knock. Not long after, the door pulled open revealing Caitlin already in her silk pj's holding a glass of wine in the other hand.

"Hey." he greeted as he rocked back and forth on his feet nervously.

Caitlin choked a little, probably surprised to see him at her doorstep so late. Barry felt the longest second as he just stood there, neither of them saying anything.

Clearing her throat she finally responded. "Hey. Come in."

Stepping aside, Caitlin pulled the door wider, gesturing him inside. Barry mouthed a thank you as he moved past her taking a step further into her apartment. as he looked around her apartment. It still oddly felt as familiar in this timeline than it did in the past. Barry turned around just as she clicked the door shut.

"What are you doing here Barry?" she asked before downing the remnants of her wine.

"Umm..." he began unsure.

"Look I don't know where to start... but I feel like we still need to talk. If you're still not ready I get it. It's been a long day and you're probably exhausted... I should leave." he rambled.

Barry shook his head. He didn't know what he actually expected to come from tonight. He started for the door. As he reached the door, Caitlin stepped in front of him stopping him. Her body came up to him, she was so close that he could smell the sweet grapes of wine on her lips. Barry dropped his hand from the handle, but didn't move. He noticed as her chest rose and fell as she breathed heavily. Her eyes were boring into his.

"Why did you come here Barry?" she whispered.

"I..." he choked his mouth running dry as he looked at her.

"I heard from Iris. You quit? CCPD you quit... why?" her voice hummed low.

Barry sighed, closing his eyes he stepped away from her, his back turned. "I, um... didn't really have a choice."

"What do you mean, you didn't have a choice?"

Barry turned back to face her. Her hands were crossed over her chest as she waited for an answer.

"Julian."

"You quit, he keeps his mouth shut about me." Caitlin shook her head. He could tell she was feeling the burden of guilt. "Barry I didn't mean an—." she began.

Barry walked to her, his hand reaching out under her chin, tugging so she was forced to look at him.

"Hey look at me." he took a beat, making sure she was listening and then dropped his hands back to his side. "Look I don't know... I mean, he said I couldn't do something like protect you and still be a good CSI, and maybe he's right." he shrugged.

"No, he's not."

Barry threw his hands up. "I don't know."

"Barry, you are an incredible CSI, and no one in that building cares more about helping people find justice than you. And that was long before you were The Flash. The lab... it's your life." her voice trailed off, the feeling of the guilt knowing that she had been the reason for him losing what he loved was weighing on her.

"That's where you're wrong. My family and friends are my life. Joe, Iris Wally Cisco..." he stopped.

" _You're my life_. If these past few months have taught me anything, it's that... It reminded me I would give up everything I have to keep you all safe. No regrets."

"But..." she began to argue.

" _No regrets."_ he whispered.

"Every time I think you've run out of reasons to love you, you show me another one." a nervous smile came to her lips.

Barry's eyes shot up. L _ove?_ He looked at her with surprise.

A nervous tension broke between them. Neither of them saying anything. He felt his heart beating hard in his chest.

Caitlin was the first one to speak, breaking the tension. "Why are did you come here Barry?" she whispered.

"Ummm..." he whispered unsure of how to answer.

He stood there frozen, not willing to move in case he did something to scare her away. All he could do was wait and watch as she moved slowly towards him. Her eyes never wavering from his.

"When Iris called... she told me the truth. She told me everything..." she paused.

Barry swallowed hard. He didn't know what any of this could mean. His head was spinning.

"So I'll ask again... why did you come here Barry?"

"You." his voice was deep and low when he replied.

He noticed a small smile tug at the corner of her lips. "Good." she whispered, body now barely inches from his.

Barry smiled, before he could control himself, his lips were on hers. She didn't pull away. Instead, her fingers fisted around his jacket, holding him closer to her as he pushed past her lips and his tongue slipping her mouth.

 _God._ Had he missed her so much. Pulling away, Barry looked into her eyes searching hers for any doubt or hesitation. There was none. Cradling her head in his hands, Barry kissed her again.

* * *

 _ **Caitlin's POV**_

Caitlin stood there her heart pounding in her chest. This man that stood before had given up what he loved most for her. Her heart swelled at the love she she felt for him. As he watched her carefully, she smiled as he fumbled at his words. _It was cute_. She thought.

For the first time in months, Caitlin felt she could freely express how she actually felt. She no longer had to pretend and put restraints on her feelings. After burying everything for so long, she knew that it was a major part of why she had lost herself so easily, not being able to understand why she felt the way she did about him and thinking she was crazy about seeing an alternate life with Barry. Then, he confessed and everything was put into perspective. The reality that everything she dreamed was true and then the reality that she was led to believe he didn't really care about her, slammed into her with a force that shattered her world and beliefs. Yet, he still fought for her. Brought her from the edge of her own darkness. She had to admit after all of it she was still hurt and confused but Iris had pulled her aside after Barry had gone to the hospital and told her everything.

 _He loves her._

So standing in front of Barry fumble over his words, she smiled and asked again.

"...why did you come here Barry?"

"You."

A smile tugged at the corner of her lips. Closing the distance between them, Caitlin placed her hands on his chest. "Good." she whispered leaning up so her face was inches from his.

Her smile grew as she saw his eyes light up with joy. Before she could react, his lips were on hers with a rough desperation.

 _God._ His lips on hers were as good as she remembered.

Caitlin opened her mouth, allowing him to deepen the kiss. She couldn't get enough of him. She hadn't realise how much she actually missed him. Curling her fingers around the collar of his jacket, she pulled him closer to her.

Breathless, she whimpered softly when Barry pulled himself away, looking down at her his eyes searching hers. Without any hesitation or doubt about what she wanted, Caitlin pulled him back to her, his lips crushing hers. Stumbling backwards, Caitlin fought at to push off his jacket as she backed into the door with a thud. Without his lips leaving hers, he removed his hands from her hair, taking off his jacket and throwing it across the room before pushing himself back against her. Caitlin moaned as she felt him, pinning her to the door. Lifting up a leg she curled it around his waist pressing herself to him. Brushing kisses down her neck, Caitlin shivered under his touch as Barry ran his hands up her thighs, resting his hands on her arse as he hoisted her up around his waist. Caitlin held onto him tight, his lips finding hers again.

Feeling as his muscles flexed under her touch, Barry pushed open the door to her room. Both of them eager and hungry for each others touch wasted no time tearing each other's clothes off. Naked and bare, Barry lightly pushed Caitlin back onto the bed, his eyes darkened with desire for her. Caitlin pulled him to her, her lips teasingly grazing over his before she maneuvered over him, pushing him back onto the mattress, him on his back as she straddled him. Flicking her hair to one side, Caitlin leaned down placing a soft kiss on his lips. Pulling away she just wanted to see the man she loved. He smiled at her before running a hand through her hair and pulling her lips to his once more.


End file.
